


White Dragon Stories

by SuYeon



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Character Death, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Crossover, Death, Established Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Family Bonding, Family Issues, First Meetings, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Insecurity, JuHaku, Light Angst, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Marriage, Murder, Negative Thoughts, Nightmares, One Shot Collection, Picnic, Platonic Relationships, Relationship Reflection, Relationships improvement, Reunion, Role Switch, Same-Sex Marriage, Self-Doubt, fairy tale, happiness, thinking about the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-08 06:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 79,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12249150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuYeon/pseuds/SuYeon
Summary: A One Shot Collection about Hakuryuu. I will add more Tags with every new One Shot.1. One Shot (Ren Hakuryuu & Ren Kougyoku); 2. One Shot (Haku family); 3. One Shot (Hakuryuu/OC); 4. One Shot (slight Hakuryuu/Judar); 5. One Shot (Ren Hakuryuu & Ren Kougyoku); 6. One Shot (Ren Hakuryuu); 7. One Shot (Ren Hakuryuu/fem!OC); 8. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Alibaba, Judar with hinted/slight JuHaku); 9. One Shot (Judar, Ren Hakuryuu); 10. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Hakuyuu, Hakuren); 11. One Shots (Hakuryuu [mentioned Kougyoku, Judar, OC]); 12. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Kougyoku, Judar (hinted JuHaku); 13. One Shot (Hakuryuu, mentioned Judar); 14. One Shot (Kougyoku & Hakuryuu); 15. One Shot (Hakuryuu); 16. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Kougyoku, Ignis); 17. One Shot (Hakuryuu); 18. One Shot (Hakuryuu/fem!OC); 19. One Shot (JuHaku); 20. One Shot (Hakuryuu/fem!OC);21. One Shot (Judar, Hakuryuu (hinted JuHaku); 22. One Shot (Hakuryuu/fem!OC, Hakuyuu, Hakuren, Hakuei, Gyokuen, Hakutoku); 23. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Koumei);24. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Hakuren, Hakuyuu): Hakuryuu finds himself in a strange place. While searching for an exit, he meets his dead brothers Hakuren and Hakuyuu.





	1. Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. One Shot (Hakuryuu & Kougyoku): Hakuryuu is on his way to his room and meets Kougyoku. He greets her and the two have a small conversation about wishes.

Hakuryuu was not a partier. He disliked big crowds and the noise that came with it. As part of the royal family he could not avoid some festivities, like the visit of another ruler or the birthday of the emperor. Such occasions were annoying for him, but he attended and often it was relatively nice in the beginning. As soon as the participants of the festivity started to get drunken he took his leave. It was only important that people saw that he had been there, since he was only the fourth prince people ignored him most of the time anyway, because he didn’t hold an important position. So while everyone was having fun at the party, Hakuryuu sneaked away silently. He was not welcomed there anyway. He knew that his uncle would prefer it, if he stayed away from political gatherings at all, so his uncle could badmouth him. It was quite sad how an adult hated a child so much just because said child was the son of the adult’s older brother, who was smarter, more popular and powerful. Hakuryuu had accepted how he was treated by his relatives, if they wanted to be so pathetic, he would not stop them. He had his own plans anyway. All he needed was a bit more power, so he could kill the witch and her follower and take back the empire. This was Hakuyuu’s last wish and Hakuryuu was determined to fulfill it. Until then he would endure his relatives and stay low.  
Today was not an important gathering, just a few nobles that would kiss anyone’s ass as long as it meant more power or at least to maintain the power they already had. All of them looked down on Hakuryuu, since he was no longer the son of the emperor. He may have only switched from third to fourth prince, however he was not Koutoku’s biological son, so he was even more “worthless”. He held no military position or even a political one – some even went so far to say he was less worth than the princesses, because they could at least be married off. Hakuryuu on the other hand was too ugly, because of the scars on his body, because he was too weak and too stupid – according to them, which was not true at all – to be married off and maybe they also feared he would rebel against the empire together with the person he would be married to, which was not even too farfetched. He would rebel, but not only with someone at his side, he also would do it alone – and he was already planning his rebellion. Thereby he also would get rid of all those pretenders. Things would be so much better, of his father and brothers were still alive. Or if his relatives were at least good people. Yet one could not have everything and Hakuryuu had nothing. And nothing was not everything.

The celebration was held in front of the palace, due to the nice weather and the fact that the forecourt was very spacious. This had the advantage that it was easier to get away from the noise. If the celebration would have been held inside, one could not go anywhere without being disturbed by the noises. And one had always to fear to run into a guest, which was not a nice thought and could make one a bit paranoid. Hakuryuu preferred it to be himself in his private chambers, but he could not feel save as long as a guest was nearby. What if they accidently came into his room, while he did something embarrassing? What if he already wore his sleeping clothes? No, he definitely did not like this thought and it made him feel uncomfortable. Those despicable nobles should stay away from him. As a child he hadn’t liked to be alone, now he preferred it, because the only company there was in the palace were either the witch’s underlings – he included his relatives, the servants and soldiers as well as the nobles in the term underlings – or foreigner kings and queens. Those, of course, were not interested in making friends with him, they only cared about politics. Everything he said could be used against him or the country, so it was better to say nothing or keep it at small talk.  
He had no friends or allies in this country, so why should he celebrate with the nobles and his family? By the way, what were their celebrating anyway? The empire’s down fall? There was no reason for a celebration! Probably they just needed an excuse to waste money, which could have been used for the citizens, and to get drunken. They would lose face, if they could not make up some reason for their extensive alcohol consume – any reason was fine as long as it sounded like one.  
Hakuryuu was done with that, he wanted to get some sleep. His days were filled with a lot of training and different lessons that he needed to be a good prince – although no one saw him as such or cared about his position. Sooner or later they would try to get rid of him – well they already were trying but had not succeeded until now. It may be true that he was weak, but he knew how to survive! A skill, which was extremely handy in his case.

When he reached the sleeping quarters, he slowed down with his steps. He had more or less run away from the celebration, because it annoyed him and he felt uncomfortable. All the noise, the disgusting conversations, all the lies and bootlicking. No, he did not need that and was happy being away from this kind of humans. Of course, he was aware of the fact that even when he killed the witch, those nobles would still be there and he could not sentence all of them to death – for that he needed proof that they knew about Gyokuen’s and Koutoku’s schemes. Obviously he had no proof, actually he did not even have proof that it was indeed Gyokuen and Koutoku, who were responsible for his family’s death. His words would stand against those two’s. It should be clear, who the people would believe – just a small hint, it was not him.  
The bedrooms of the royal family was at the other end of the palace, yet one could still hear the noise from the celebration. Hopefully it was not so bad when he was in his room. The walls may hold some of the noise back.  
Before he got to his room he saw someone sitting on the bench in the nearby small garden. There were a lot of gardens on the palace ground and Hakuryuu loved it. As a child it was nice, because one could play around everywhere and now he liked it because they looked very beautiful and had something calming. Moreover it gave the palace a more colorful appearance. Most of the hallways looked the same and so it got monotonous over time. Therefore seeing the colorful gardens with the different flowers and trees was a nice change of view. Maybe he was the only one, who thought this way, or maybe not. It was seldom to see someone sitting in the garden, which was strange to a certain extent, since so many people lived here. Well, it could also be that he simply just never had seen someone doing so, because the people sat in the garden, when he wasn’t looking. Sounded a bit odd, but considering how big this place was and how many people lived here it could be the case. Whatever the reason was, it did not matter much.  
The person, who sat in the garden, was not a stranger to Hakuryuu. Kougyoku, his cousin, was looking at the starry sky. She looked sad. Hakuryuu hesitated to approach her. Although they lived at the same place since they were born, those two had barely interacted with each other until now. Besides her name, he knew nothing about her – well, he knew that she had a djinn called Vinea and that she was Koutoku’s seventh daughter, but this were all things everyone knew. Her not being at the celebration was not surprising. She was in a similar situation like him – actually maybe she had it even worse in a way. Kougyoku had the unfortunate luck to be the seventh daughter of Koutoku – the eighth princess of Kou – and thus was seen as nothing more than a tool to be married off. She had no political power and no way of voicing herself – Hakuei as the first princess was better off than those after her. Most of the imperial princesses only attended celebration as the current one for a few hours and then left. Probably the best choice. Those drunken nobles could be very dangerous – he had witnessed it before, when he had been still a child and had hidden behind his brothers, because he was scared of the drunkards.  
After hesitating for a moment he decided to at least greet her. Maybe she wanted to talk to someone. His greeting made her jump up, because it had scared her. She had been in deep thoughts and her cousin’s voice had brought her back into reality. Her heartbeat increased so much she feared it might jump out of her chest. However, she calmed down fast, when she saw Hakuryuu and greeted him back with a kind smile.  
“Good night, Hakuryuu. What are you doing here?”, she asked.  
A stupid question and she knew it. The garden was near the bedrooms so he probably wanted to go to sleep.  
“I was on my way to my room. It’s been a long day and I am very tired. What about you? Why are you sitting here alone? Did something happen? You looked quite sad”, Hakuryuu answered and showered her in a bunch of questions in return.  
“Please don’t worry about me, I am fine. I am not sad, just a bit dreamy. You know, I do not like this kind of events and wanted to go to my room as well, but honestly I felt lonely in there. So I decided to take a stroll around and somehow ended up in the garden. The sky is quite pretty, don’t you agree?”, Kougyoku explained herself.  
While she talked the two of them sat down on the bench. Hakuryuu looked at her when she spoke, while Kougyoku’s view was directed towards the sky. It really was a beautiful night.  
“Yeah, you’re right. The sky is very pretty tonight indeed”, Hakuryuu agreed and looked up.  
A short moment of silence followed after his response, but it was not an uncomfortable silence.  
“Say, Hakuryuu, do you believe that shooting stars can make your wishes come true?”, Kougyoku suddenly asked, which caused Hakuryuu to stare at her in disbelieve.  
It was not because of the question itself, it was more because he had not expected her to ask him such a childish question. If one wanted to have a wish come true, one had to work for it! In all honesty, Hakuryuu once had believed in all this magical things like granting wishes. This was before his family had been murdered. Now he could only laugh about such childish naivety. How often had he wished for his brothers to come back from the dead? How many times had he wished to go back to those days in which his family had been happy? How often had he wished for the punishment of his family’s murderer? And how many times had his wishes come true? He had wished too often and yet it never had come true. If he wanted those murderers to be punished, he had to do it himself. His brothers and his father on the other hand would stay dead forever, there was nothing he or anyone else could do – even less a shooting star or a wishing well.  
“No, I do not believe in shooting stars granting wishes.”  
“Not anymore or never had?”  
What a mean question! As if she knew that he once had believed in them. Hakuryuu hesitated with his answer. If he waited long enough, maybe she forgot her question. Her gaze said something else. She wanted an answer and would not accept silence. So Hakuryuu gave in.  
“Not anymore.”  
“That’s sad”, she said, “Maybe you should try to believe in them again. Life will be more fun.”  
“More fun? I don’t think so. You will only be disappointed again and again. Being disappointed and let down is not fun at all. It is depressing.”  
Kougyoku did not answer. Her head was titled a bit and she seemed to think about a proper response. To be honest, she did not understand why it should be depressing to believe in shooting stars. Why one should be disappointed over and over again. Sometimes a wish needed more time to come true.

“Hakuryuu, what do you wish for?”, she suddenly asked.  
“A family.”  
A simple answer. All he wanted was his family! He wanted his brothers back. He wanted to have fun with Hakuyuu, Hakuren and Hakuei again. But this was not possible anymore. One could think he had finally accepted this fact, but this was not the case. No matter how often he tried to tell himself that he was over his family’s murder, it did not work. At night he would dream of their death and during the day he could only think about avenging them.  
“Aren’t you a bit too young to think about a family? For such a wish to come true, you have to wait a little while. And you also have to go out more. If you stay inside the palace all the time, you will never find a good woman for you”, Kougyoku told him with a big smile on her face.  
“This was not what I meant. I wish for my family to come back. I want to have a family again. But no shooting star will grant my wish, I’ve already tried a million times.”  
A sad smile crossed Hakuryuu face for a split second, before he turned serious again.  
“Oh … I am sorry.”  
For what did she apologize? She hadn’t done anything wrong and less was it her fault that his family was dead or that the stars would not grant his wish.  
“It’s fine. You’re not at fault, this is just how this world is. If you want your dreams and wishes come true, you have to work for it yourself. That’s my conclusion. However, if you want to believe in shooting stars and if it gives you the extra strength you need to go on with your daily life, then don’t stop.”  
“I had no intention of stopping. And you shouldn’t have stopped believing in them in the first place. Of course one has to do all the work to achieve one’s dreams, but a little help can never be wrong. No one may be able to bring back Hakuyuu, Hakuren and uncle Hakutoku, but you still have Hakuei and your mother …”, Kougyoku hesitated before adding, “and you have me. We are family as well.”  
Hakuryuu was perplexed. Yes, he still had Hakuei and Kougyoku was also family. Although they had barely interacted until now, this didn’t mean they were not family and they always could improve their relationship. He had been really narrow minded in this case. Just because he disliked his uncle Koutoku and the older princes, did not mean he disliked Kougyoku, who had never done anything wrong in her life. Actually she was always nice towards him, when they met each other in the hallways of the palace.  
“Yeah, you’re right. I am sorry.”  
Maybe he should trying wishing again. It couldn’t hurt and as long as he did not expect his wishes to magically come true, he wouldn’t get disappointed. 

The conversation with Kougyoku gave him new strength, gave him hope and it was nice to see her smile and hear her laugh. She was a bright and optimistic person. From now on he would definitely interact more with her. He hadn’t felt so at ease as he did during their conversation in a long time.


	2. Smiles and tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakuryuu and his family have a picnic. Everything is fine until Hakuryuu gets lost.

Once a year Hakuryuu and his family had a picnic. Hakuryuu loved it because it was one of the rare moments when his whole family was together – his father, his brothers, sister and mother. Also the place where the picnic was held was great. Since the small forest with the beautiful lack, which they used for their picnic, was relatively far away – relatively because for Hakuryuu it was indeed a really long way, while it wasn’t for his relatives – they didn’t went there too often. This was probably due to the fact that he couldn’t make as large steps as the rest of his family and that he had less stamina then them. Maybe it also was because he always was so excited that every passing second until they would reach the lack felt like an eternity. 

When it was time for the picnic Hakuryuu got out of bed earlier than usual, because he wanted to help his mother with packing. This also included the food and since he was there he made sure that there was enough of his favorite dishes, especially his favorite sweets. Hakuei helped as well. Gyokuen, on the other hand, would be faster and happier, if her children weren’t helping. She constantly had to check what her kids had put into the picnic basket and had to remove everything unnecessary, while packing all the things needed. It was the same every year. And as every year she managed the packing without much trouble – Hakuryuu and Hakuei were slowing her down, but they weren’t a big problem. To a certain extent it was cute how they run around putting sweets into the basket, while removing all those things they disliked. In the end Gyokuen often let some of her children’s sweets in the basket – it was nice to see how happy they were when they saw that some of their things were still inside.   
Hakuyuu and Hakuren had been the same, when they were still small. Now they laughed about their younger siblings and their behavior. But only until Gyokuen started telling stories about Hakuyuu’s and Hakuren’s childhood. Hakuyuu was the type that silently endured this “torture” with a forced smile, however Hakuren always tried to stop his mother from speaking further. He failed every time, which made it even funnier for the rest of the family. One’s family could be one’s worst enemy! Sometimes Hakuren tried to distract his mother from talking about his childhood by asking about her and their father’s past. How they had met or fallen in love. Although Gyokuen also answered very detailed, she never forgot to get back to her second son’s past.   
Meanwhile Hakutoku was silent for most of the time, but enjoyed watching his family interacting. He wanted to interact more with them as well, sadly he had nothing to talk about besides politics. He often interacted with Hakuyuu and Hakuren because of political issues, on the other hand, he barely had any interaction with Hakuei and Hakuryuu. Those two were still too young for the political world in which their father and older brothers lived. Hakutoku felt bad about it and although this family trip was the perfect opportunity to get to know his youngest children better and interact with them, he did not. Somehow he was unsure how to approach Hakuryuu. He knew that his youngest son was very sensitive and easily started crying and he knew that he himself could be very intimidating. Things had been easier with Hakuyuu and Hakuren – even with Hakuei. Like Hakuren she was brave and sought challenges. Talking and interacting with the oh so stern and scary emperor was nothing for those two. When Hakutoku compared his children like that he also thought about how amusing the thought that Hakuyuu might be as sensitive and whiny as Hakuryuu was. The only difference between them would probably be that Hakuyuu was able to hide his tears and his fear, while Hakuryuu openly showed them. Or Hakuyuu was not like Hakuryuu. Or they had other things in common. Who knew? Hakutoku could not look inside his children’s heads, therefore he didn’t know what they felt or thought as long as they did not voice it out loud.   
Unlike his wife he also didn’t know how to react when his son tried to show him something. Most of the time those things were totally ordinary, so what did his son expected of him? And how should Hakutoku react when Hakuryuu read his first words? Everyone could read at that age or learned how to read. It was nothing special, so why should he act as of it was something big? But for whatever reason this was expected of him. And maybe his lack of reaction was the reason why Hakuryuu kept his distance to his father as if they were strangers. Sad, very sad!

On their way to the picnic place Hakuryuu at first stayed at his mother’s side and even helped her with carrying their stuff. Of course, he only had something small and light to carry. Soon, however, he decided that it was boring to stay by Gyokuen’s side and he didn’t want to carry anything around anymore. And why haven’t they reached their destination yet?   
So the first thing he did, before letting go of whatever he was supposed to carry, was to ask how long it would take them until they reached the picnic place and complaining that he was bored. Gyokuen answered his question with a smile and offered to carry him, in case he was already tired. Hakuryuu wasn’t tried, he was bored!  
Fortunately Hakuren was there as well and knew what a child like his younger brother needed right now. Children loved playing games and hence a game of tag was the best choice to entertain Hakuryuu. Also Hakuren therewith had an excuse to behave more childish – deep inside he was nothing but a child himself, however in this cruel world a man his age had to behave like an adult. Having little siblings could be such a blessing!  
Hakutoku and Gyokuen said nothing when Hakuren and Hakuryuu started their game of tag, only Hakuyuu reminded his brothers to be careful and not to run too far ahead. Hakuei just watched silently as well. Although she wasn’t tired and old enough to walk on her own, her father carried her. Talking with each other was easier that way. And like this the royal Ren family walked to their picnic place. Luckily, the weather was nice – not too windy or cold, but not too warm either.

When they reached their destination Hakuryuu wanted to decide where they would sit down. No one objected and so Hakuryuu search a little bit for the perfect place and found it near a bush with red berries – Hakuryuu did not know what kind of berries they were, but his mother told him not to eat them and so he did not even touch them. Once he hadn’t listen to her and ate something he shouldn’t have and got sick afterwards. Ever since then he listened to her, at least when it was about food which he could not identify.  
Together with Hakuei he spread out the picnic blanket, so his family could finally sit down. Soon it was lunch time and everyone was hungry, thus Gyokuen put out the food she had made in the morning. Meanwhile, Hakuyuu was busy telling Hakuren not to be so rough and be more careful with Hakuei and Hakuryuu, especially around the lack. All Ren siblings had learned how to swim, but it was clear that Hakuryuu was not as good as his older brothers. The lack was not that big and Yuu and Ren as well as their parents were nearby so the chances of Hakuryuu drowning were quite small, yet the chances weren’t zero and therefore Hakuyuu thought it was the best to remind Hakuren to be on the lookout with their younger brother.  
“Stop worrying so much, Yuu. The water is not that deep here. Hakuryuu can stand in the water without problem and if he drowns knee-deep water, then…”  
“Then what?”, Hakuyuu asked and crossed his arms.  
“I don’t know”, Hakuren answered, “But I doubt that anything bad will happen. Hakuryuu never went far into the water. Why should that suddenly change? And I will definitely not throw him into the water. So relax, mother and father do not complain anyway.”  
Hakuren knew that his brother only meant well, but it was so annoying sometimes. He was not a small and stupid child, so why was he treated like one? It was not their first time here and nothing bad had happened, of course this didn’t mean that something bad would never happen. However the chances were small at least regarding Hakuryuu drowning. They did not even have taken anything with them for swimming.  
Hakuryuu did not pay attention to his brothers and their conversation, although he knew it was about him. He was a big boy now, thus he could take care of himself. So he took off his shoes and rolled up his trouser legs, so they would not get wet.  
The water was pleasantly cold, when he made his first steps. Of course Hakuryuu stayed close to the bank and in sight of his family. He was not brave enough to walk away. What if he got lost? Only thinking about it scared him.  
His anxiety and his curiosity often got in each other’s way. Whenever he gave in to his curiosity his fear got stronger, which ensured that he more and more often let himself be led by his fear instead of his curiosity. Hakuei was totally different from him. She was already inspecting the surrounding area. A lot of green grass, bushes, colorful flowers, trees and insects were all she found. However her little stroll was interrupted by her mother, because it was now time for lunch. It was quite impressive how powerful such simple words as “it’s time for lunch” were. Hakuyuu and Hakuren stopped their useless discussion and Hakuryuu got out of the water. Although this wasn’t much of a surprise. He was hungry and he was very well behaved. Most of the time he listened to his parents and older siblings. Things had been harder with Hakuren and even Hakuyuu, when they still were kids.

Everyone sat down on the picnic blanket. Hakuei sat between her parents and Hakuryuu sat down next to his mother and Hakuren. Hakuyuu sat between his father and younger brother. As always when they ate together it was quite cheerful. Hakuren had a lot to talk about and he loved to exaggerate. Hakuryuu as naïve as he was, believed every word his brother spoke and was amazed how great his brother was and what kind of thrilling adventures Hakuren had experienced. Meanwhile the rest of the Ren family silently laughed about Hakuren’s stories and how excited Hakuryuu was. It was really cute.   
“Hakuren, Hakuryuu don’t forget to eat, my dears”, reminded Gyokuen her two sons.   
“Okay”, Hakuryuu answered and demonstratively took a bit of his food.   
Doing two things at the same time were still too hard for the child. On the other hand, Hakuren could hardly talk and eat at the same time. So he had to stop his talking for a while.   
After lunch the three brothers got back into the water. Hakuyuu had sat down next to the lack and let his feet dangle in the water, while watching his younger siblings. Hakuryuu watched the fishes until they approached him, which caused him to run to Hakuren for protection. He disliked fishes so much that he did not even want them dead on his plate. There was no special reason for his dislike, he never had a bad experience with these animals, but somehow he did not trust these creatures. Maybe because all they did was “bubble” around and had those creepy pop eyes? Or because felt strange? Who knew? Much to Hakuryuu’s regret the fish followed him for awhile and even Hakuren could not shoo away the animal. It was a very amusing scene to watch. Hakuyuu almost felt bad for laughing about it, when his youngest brother chose to hide at his side and therewith asked for protection from the bad fish! The best way to get away from the fish was to get out of the water – as far as Hakuyuu knew fishes could not walk or survive on land – therefore he picked Hakuryuu out of the water and set the boy down on the river bank. Hakuryuu hid behind his brother, just in case the fish suddenly grow legs and the ability to breath on land. One could never know what Mother Nature had in store for her inhabitants.   
It took some time until the fish decided to let go of the Ren brothers and swam away. Although the danger was gone, Hakuryuu hesitated to return into the water. What if it came back? And what if it brought more fishes with it? He did not voice his concern because he knew his brothers would laugh about him, but this did not change the fact that he had these concerns.   
“Come back Hakuryuu. The fish is gone, so there is no reason to stay out of the water. It is so nice inside”, Hakuren tried to convince Hakuryuu, who, however, refused to get back inside.   
“Don’t be like that, Hakuryuu. It was just a fish. A fish cannot hurt you. Or do you want to do something else?”, Hakuyuu said, while suppressing his laughter.   
His little brother was just too cute. It could be extremely exhausting with him sometimes, but Hakuryuu was such a lovely little boy, so everything was forgiven.  
Hakuryuu did not answer to Hakuyuu’s question. His attention was directed to Hakuren, who made his way towards Hakuryuu and Hakuyuu with a sinister smile on his lips. What had Hakuren in mind? Probably nothing good.

When Hakuren reached his brothers he bend down a bit, so he could look Hakuryuu in the eyes.  
“Come here, Hakuryuu. Let’s have some fun together. And don’t worry, I’ll protect you from the evil fishes, promise”, Hakuren said.  
As naïve as Hakuryuu was he believed Hakuren and came out of his hiding place. Unfortunately Hakuren was a mean big brother and had a little surprise for Hakuryuu.   
“Look Hakuryuu, no fishes are here.”  
To see if Hakuren said the truth Hakuryuu took a look at the water and this was the very moment Hakuren used to squirt some water into Hakuryuu’s face, which caused the latter one to back away and started to cry out of surprise. To protect himself from another sneaky attack, Hakuryuu run to his mother, who put her arm around him and asked what was wrong. The look she gave her second eldest son spoke volumes. She was not pleased at the "little" prank he had played with Hakuryuu. Apparently, Hakuren was the only one who laughed about it. However, he stopped laughing when he saw his mother glaring at him and the disapproving look of his father and his older brother. He had fucked up!   
It took quite some time until Hakuryuu calmed down and therewith stopped crying. During that time Hakuei returned from her stroll to show her parents the beautiful flowers she had found. She also showed them to her little brother, who had stopped crying and took a look at the beautiful flowers. They smelt nice too.   
“Why don’t you go with Hakuei and pick more beautiful flowers, Hakuryuu?”, Gyokuen asked her son in a sweet voice and a smile on her face.   
“Yes, Hakuryuu, let’s take a stroll together and find more flowers”, Hakuei agreed happily.   
Hakuei liked showing her brother around and explaining things to him. It made her feel proud. She wanted to be the best big sister for Hakuryuu and a good big sister took care of her younger brother. Also spotting new things made people happy and this was what the youngest of the Ren family needed right now. Hakuren’s stupid prank had almost destroyed the nice atmosphere and maybe even ruined the day for Hakuryuu – a little exaggeration, but the latter one would definitely remember that not so pleasant event and forget about all the nice moments. Something like this could easily happen!   
Hakuryuu nodded in response and slipped down from his mother’s lap. Hakuei immediately took her little brother’s hand. Together they started to inspect the fruits that grow on the bushes, however they did not touch them, since their mother had forbidden it. Hakuryuu wanted to know what kind of fruits it were, but Hakuei did not know, what made her feel bad. She wanted to be a good sister and as such, she should explain things to her little brother and answer his questions. However, she did not know too much herself. Hakuyuu and Hakuren would probably know what fruits those red little berries were. Differently than his older sister, Hakuryuu did not linger on the thought what berries it were and instead was already fascinated by the next thing. This time it was an ant that carried a little stone – Hakuryuu at least thought it was one – around. Unfortunately he lost sight of it. Hakuei had followed her little brother, when she saw that he had already moved on. She didn’t know much about ants, but the little bit she knew was enough to impress Hakuryuu, who listen careful. Although everyone knew he would forget it in a few minutes.  
Not far away from their picnic place Hakuei had found a nice grassland with a lot of colorful flowers. There the two sat down and Hakuei tried her best to teach her little brother, how to make flower crowns. While Hakuei was pretty fast and made one flower crown after the other, Hakuryuu struggled a lot. He was too clumsy to make one and it was frustrating, he already had tears in his eyes. This was not fair! He really, really wanted to make a flower crown for his sister, who was so nice and had shown him how to do it over and over again. She was probably disappointed in him and he didn’t want her to be disappointed with him.   
“Hakuryuu, let’s make a bouquet of flowers for mother. I’m sure she will love it”, Hakuei said hoping to cheer him up.  
Luckily her plan worked and Hakuryuu jumped up to start searching for nice flowers, which they could use for their bouquet of flowers. While searching he got distracted quite often. Sometimes it was because of a butterfly, then because an ant he had happened to see and another time because of some insects he had never seen before and asked Hakuei about. Although she was a princess she knew about a lot of insects, since Hakuren loved to share his wisdom with his younger siblings. Hakuyuu liked to share too, but he cared more for academic knowledge than some small animals. Not that he didn’t know about them, it was just that he did not see a reason to explain them to his siblings. It was a good thing to have both of them as brothers, so one always learned a lot.

Unfortunately the peace was soon distrusted by Hakuryuu’s disappearance. Hakuei had been so busy with picking flowers that she hadn’t paid attention to him and where he went. Hakuryuu on the other hand was so busy with being amazed by all the flowers and the insects that he had not paid attention to where he went. It was not his first time seeing insects or picking flowers, it wasn’t his first time here, but it was so easy to distract him. And when he got interested in something he often forgot about everything else around him. Normally this was not a problem, because he was surrounded by people, who knew him and who he knew. The palace was his home and therefore he knew where he had to go to or where he could find his family. This forest was not the palace and although he had been here before a few times, he could get lost quite fast and easy. A forest did not have hallways, one could go where one wanted, which made it harder to find someone. And since trees looked all the same to him, he also could not tell which “way” he had already taken and which not. So when Hakuei realized her bother was gone, it was already too late. She tried to find him and shouted his name, hoping he was near and could hear her, but this was not the case. Hakuryuu on the other hand, only realized he was lost, when he lost sight of the butterfly he had followed. He had turned around, because he wanted to tell his sister about the beautiful butterfly, but when he did so she wasn’t there. There were only trees, a lot of trees and it was darker than before. He shouted her name too, also hoping she could hear him, but this wasn’t the case either. Both panicked. Hakuei returned to her parents and told them, while cry, what had happened. Hakuryuu was on his own and tried to find his way back, but failed. He tried his best not to cry, because maybe his crying would cause some big animals like a bear – bears did not live in this forest, but Hakuryuu did not know this – to notice him. Maybe it would attack him? Not a nice thought and it even made it worse. How could it be so hard to get out of a forest? For him, a small and scared child it was pretty hard. He wanted to be at his mother’s side!  
On the other side, Hakutoku and Gyokuen were far away from being pleased when they heard that their son was alone in the forest and Hakuei could not find him. It took Gyokuen quite some time to calm her daughter down enough to understand her. Hakuyuu and Hakuren, who had sat down on the picnic blanket, helped their mother herewith.   
“Gyokuen, you stay here with Hakuei, in case Hakuryuu finds his way back. Hakuyuu, Hakuren, the three of us are going to search for him”, Hakutoku said.  
At first Hakuei wanted to protest, since she felt responsible for her little brother’s disappearance she wanted to help finding him, but given the fact that she also could get lost easily and was too upset at the moment, this was not a good idea. Since she was a smart girl, she understood this very well and stayed back with her mother. Maybe Hakuryuu really would find his way back here, then she would hug and apologize to him. She was a bad sister! She should have looked after him more. No one besides herself blamed her for what had happened. To the contrary Hakutoku felt responsible since he had left his daughter and son go too far away from their picnic place without anyone accompanying them. This was careless. Those two could have been attack by someone or got hurt or like now got lost. He should have known better, but now his youngest son was somewhere in the forest and his daughter was crying in her mother’s arm. It was unusual for Hakuei to cry, she was a brave child and was tough. However losing her brother, while being in charge of taking care of him, was too much for her. Even an adult would have been worried and would have started to panic in her situation.

Hakuyuu, Hakuren and Hakutoku first went to the place, where Hakuei and Hakuryuu had picked flowers and started to search him from there. All three were unsure what to do exactly. How could they ensure that they searched the whole forest and did not miss Hakuryuu?  
In the end they decided to split up and go in different directions. Despite that it took them a few hours to find Hakuryuu. The little boy had gotten even further into the forest and was so scared that an animal may attack him that he even stopped shouting for his siblings and parents. He was sitting on the ground and cried. When he had heard the familiar voice of his father he hesitated at first, but when he was sure it hadn’t misheard, he tried to response, but his voice was too soft. Fortunately Hakutoku, despite his age, had good ears and heard the sobbing of his son. Well, it was more hoping that he had heard correctly instead of knowing he was right. But this did not matter as long as he found Hakuryuu.  
Hakuryuu almost jumped into his father’s arms, who hold him very tightly to ensure not to lose the little boy again. Losing him once was more than enough for one day. Gyokuen would probably kill him, if Hakuryuu got lost a second time. She was very doting over her youngest child, even more than she had been with Hakuyuu and Hakuren or Hakuei. Maybe it was because Hakuryuu clung to her a lot. He needed and wanted her protection and so she was protecting him.  
Since Hakuyuu and Hakuren were still inside the forest searching for Hakuryuu and Hakutoku had no way of contacting them, he had now also to search for those two.  
“Hakuryuu, we have to look for Hakuyuu and Hakuren together. Those two are also inside the forest. Will you help me searching for your brothers?”  
Hakutoku knew he wasn’t good with kids, but he tried his best and cheer his son, who was still crying, up. When he come home his clothes would probably be all wet, because of his son’s tears. As response Hakuryuu nodded his head, but did not stop crying for now. Maybe it would get better, when they were back at home.

Finding the other two princes was not as lengthy as finding Hakuryuu and as soon as they were together they went back to the picnic place. Hakuei had fallen asleep because of all her crying. However, Hakuryuu woke her up to apologize to her for making her worry so much. As apologize gift he gave her some flowers he had picked before he had returned with his brothers and his father. During his walk through the forest he had lost the flowers he had already picked for his mother, so he had to get new ones.  
Gyokuen also was happy to have her son back and didn’t let go of him until they reached the palace and it was time for him to go to bed. This night Hakuei and Hakuryuu slept together in his room, because Hakuei refused to leave her brother alone again. Hakutoku and Gyokuen didn’t mind it, since it did not happened often and it made their children feel better – Hakuren was the only one complaining since he also wanted to sleep with his younger siblings, but was not allowed to. He was too old for sleepovers, his father said. This was unfair! Maybe he should get lost next time!

This picnic was an event Hakuryuu never forgot, it also was the last one he had with his family.


	3. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3\. One Shot (Hakuryuu/OC): Hakuryuu finally has some time at hand and so he decides to go on a picnic with his wife and their children.

As ruler of a country one barely had any time for private matters. The little bit of free time one had was used for one’s family, but even that little time was not enough to really call it “family activities” or “family time”. Most of the time Hakuryuu only had time to eat lunch and dinner with his wife and their children. It hurt Hakuryuu to not be able to spend more time with his family. He had grown up with a father, who was always busy with battles and meetings, and two older brothers, who both were part of the army and therefore were always on the way as well. He could barely remember his own father and most things he knew about him, were stories told by others about a man called emperor Ren Hakutoku. The same applied to his brothers Hakuyuu and Hakuren to a certain extent. Although those two always tried to spend as much of their free time with their younger siblings Hakuryuu and Hakuei, who was Hakuryuu’s older and only sister, there were only a few memories left with them. Their death was the most present memory of them. Hakuryuu still had nightmares of the fire incident and he probably would never get rid of them.   
However, there was a memory of his family left that he loved to remember, despite it happened at a time were everything was already nothing but play pretend. For him it had been real back then. The smiles, the laughs, the love and the happiness! It had felt so real! Knowing that he it was not, pained him so much, yet he still liked this memory, since it was one of the few in which his whole family had spent a day together. It was also one of the few memories in which his father was his father and not the emperor. 

Not far from Rakushou was a small forest with a lake. It was a nice spot to relax for a bit and think about the world. As a child and teenager he had liked to spend some time here. Unfortunately, he hardly went there. When he had been a child, he hadn’t been allowed to go outside without a guard and as a teenager he had other problems, like an insane mother, who tried to destroy the whole world, for example. Now as an adult he had no time as well. An emperor had a lot of duties to fulfill and most issues he had to deal with could not be postponed. His family understood this, but he could see how sad they were, whenever he had to decline any offer of family time. He wanted nothing more than to be a part of his children’s life. Differently than him, they should remember their father as their father and not just as emperor, with whom they happened to be related with. That was the reason why he tried to at least keep up with simple tasks like teaching his kids how to cook, fight, ride a horse and so on. While the last two things were relatively easy to incorporate into his daily schedule, cooking was harder. In the end, the evenings, shortly before the kids had to go to bed, where the only time, he could really spend time with his children. Fortunately, his kids were well-mannered and sometimes they just would sit through a meeting with him, just to be near him, even the youngest ones would keep quiet. But this also reminded him of how terrible he was as a father and how much his children needed him. His wife often told him that he worried too much and that he did more than most other fathers would have ever done. This was a fact his feeling did not care about and therefore he still felt horrible, despite his wife’s and even his children’s reassurance that he was a great father. He knew very well that he worried too much about everything, but what should he do? One could not control their own feelings and this was annoying in itself! Because then he was annoyed by being annoyed of being too worried, which annoyed him again. A vicious circle! Only broken when he was with his loved ones, who always had a nice story to tell about their day. 

When the first opportunity arose, Hakuryuu took it without thinking much about it. A day off from work was something seldom! He had worked like an idiot to assure that the most important work was done and that the rest could be done by his servants. The only thing that may be able to stop him from going on a picnic with his family, was a war or doomsday. However, there was no reason for any of this to happen in the next few days! So, why bother with thinking about it – yes, for once he did not worry himself with unlikely obstacles.   
His wife and his children were all so excited, when he announced his plans to them. Sadly, his children had not left Rakushou until now and so it would be the first journey outside of the city.   
A whole day only with his family! That sounded so great and somewhat surreal! Hakuryuu was happy and excited himself. His wife together with their oldest daughter would make the food – Hakuryuu had offered his help, but was rejected and even threated to be thrown out, if he dared to enter the kitchen! Unbelievable!   
Well, it was always nice to eat something made by his wife or his daughter. Both were excellent cooks and very creative. Hopefully they would not forget to make the meals well-balanced and not only sweet – those two were such sweet tooths and they were not the only ones. On the other hand, they had well-balanced meals at lunch and dinner, so there was no reason to fear that this may not be the case for the picnic. And here he was worrying about unnecessary again. Life would be too easy without unnecessary worries. And just thinking about a life without unnecessary worries: how horrible! Hakuryuu would not complaint! Preferably a boring life than one with so many worries. He was a simple man, with simple needs and wishes! But one could not have everything, right? And his life was not so bad. All his loved ones were in good health, he was in good health, the empire was doing well – consequently the majority of his people were doing well too – and no sign of trouble. What could a ruler wish for more? 

*

The weather on the day of the picnic was wonderful! A soft wind, a warm sun and birds’ twittering. Since the way to the small forest was long they got there horseback, with the youngest children riding with Hakuryuu and his wife. Their others children were already trained in horse riding. As long as they stayed closed to their parents, everything was fine.   
When they reached their picnic spot, there was no holding back for the kids. While Hakuryuu and his wife set up the picnic, the kids were already running around, investigating the surrounding area and playing around.   
Watching them made Hakuryuu smile. For a long time he had no family. After the fire incident, which killed his brothers, and the murder of his father shortly before that, he had to accept that all he had believed in had been nothing but a lie. His mother had never loved him – he had never been loved. His family was dysfunctional, no one real cared about the other one. They just played pretend and they were so good at it that they had started to believe their own lies of being a good and caring family. In reality they never had been one in the first place. There always had been hate and resentment. One was only worth attention, when showing military value. His cousin were all married of without a second thought – all for the greater good, ignoring the fact that it was just them sacrificing something, while the emperor and his sons never had to give something important up. No one ever asked about their well-being later on. No one cared. Hakuryuu was no exception. It was normal to him, only later he realized how wrong this was. His whole family was just a huge dysfunctional mess and living in it was terrible, especially when one knew that everything was a lie and when one was alone with it.   
Fortunately, things had changed and he had a family on his own now. A wife, who loved him! A wife, he loved! A little bunch of well-mannered, overly curious and cute children that one day would take care of the empire. There were no words to describe how much he loved his children. Often he had no time to take them into bed, but he always would look into their bedrooms, when he was about to go to sleep, just to make sure that they were still there and fine. In Judar he had found a reliable friend – his first and only friend. Well, through his wife he had met other people, who slowly turned into friends – Hakuryuu was a bit reluctant to call them friends already, he had been a bit fast with giving this title to people in the past and he did not want to make the same mistake again. Hakuryuu’s life had change for the better and he enjoyed every second of it. His past was still lingering around, but it became more and more distant. 

Hakuryuu and his wife had sat down on the picnic blanket, snuggling against each other and watching their kids enjoying their lives. They had grown up so much already. Hakuryuu could remember very well, how he had changed their diapers and clothes, fed them, took care of them, when they were sick. He could remember how he felt when they said their first word and made their first steps. Of course, there had been bad times as well, but he preferred to remember their good times, when they got along with each other. He already had enough bad memories.   
His wife had fallen asleep pretty soon after arriving. Their third son came after her in this regards. Always asleep! Only today he was full of energy. A rare sight, but pleasant.   
Around lunchtime a few tummies got loud and so it was decided that it was time to eat! This was also seen as an opportunity to inform Hakuryuu about everything he had missed until now, which ended in this children talking across each other and him not understanding much of what was said. Diplomatic skills were need to assure that everyone had enough time to tell their stories without being interrupted – but as emperor this was a piece of cake for him, at least he did not totally suck at it. Children were no diplomats – they were more fun and innocent! 

After-lunch naps were the best and highly liked and needed by his family. The youngest ones had their cuddly blanket and cushion with them, while the older one did not need them anymore – they actually did, but were too embarrassed to admit it. Luckily, mommy knew her kids better than anyone else and had packed their cuddly blankets and cushions as well. One had to let go of such things soon enough, so why take them away forcefully? There was no reason to do so.   
What a peaceful view. His children next to each other, sleeping, his wife next to him, holding his hand and with a happy smile on her face.   
Thinking about it, it had been awhile since the last time he really had look at her. He saw her face every evening and night, but now he had time to look at it more precisely. She had gotten more beautiful over the years. Her skin seemed a bit pale, maybe they should go outside more often or was she getting sick? Or was it because of her work? Not only his work schedule was full, but also hers. And she also took care of their children most of the time, since both agreed that their children should be raised by them and not some maids. As soon as they were home again, he would talk to her about this matter. For now he would just adore her beauty, her soft skin, her faint smile, her lovely smelling hair and her hand in his. He treasured every second of this moment! 

A day was long and a nap did not last forever and so it happened that Hakuryuu had to play hide-and-seek, tag, play horse and a lot of other games with his kids. Never in life before had he felt so old! Why were his kids so lively and full of energy? Where did they take that energy from? In the end he was laughed at by them, because he could not keep up with them.   
On a positive note, when they got back home his children were so tired that taking them to bed was easy and Hakuryuu had some time for his beloved wife, who was happy that they had some time to talk. Their daily life was always busy and in their short conversations, barely anything could be discussed, even during lunch or dinner, other things were more important, like their children that wanted attention, praise and love. To be honest, just sitting next to her husband in silence and holding each other’s hands were enough for her. She did not need to talk all the time about everything, yet a lot of things had been postponed and needed to be addressed – and she missed Hakuryuu’s wonderful voice. More time offs were needed for this family! The empire was doing fine and it was getting better and better with every passing day, so why not pushing some responsibilities to other positions? An emperor should focus on the important matters and not small issues. Other countries did so as well, so why not Kou too? But for tonight, they would not talk about politics, but their family and how much they loved each other.


	4. Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4\. One Shot (slight Hakuryuu/Judar): Hakuryuu sometimes feels lonely at night and cannot fall asleep. This night he gets a visit from someone important and receives the most beautiful gift one can ask for. He won't be lonely anymore.

At night the loneliness creeped through the corridors into his room and under his skin, deep into his flesh and bones and took away his breath. The unnatural cold on his skin made him want to run. However, he couldn’t get out of his own skin.  
All he wanted was someone at his side at night. He wanted to return to his private chambers and be greeted by someone or greet someone back. After a long and hard day full of work, he wanted to eat dinner together with another person and tell them about his day, his feelings, wishes, dreams, thoughts and ideas. He wanted to listen to someone else’s day. At night he wished there were someone to share his bed with and feel their warmth. Was this too much to ask for? Instead he was on his own with his pessimistic thoughts, with his negative mind that told him that he wasn’t loved – never had been loved – that he was alone – no friends, no family, no supporters – and that this would never change. Despite knowing that those thoughts were not true at all, he couldn’t stop himself from shedding a tear and from somewhat believing them.   
Kougyoku was his family, wasn’t she? Judar was his friend, wasn’t he? Both supported him and therefore they were his supporters, weren’t they? And he slowly learned to trust and be more open with others and thereby made new friends or at least established new positive relationships. Or was he misinterpreting his situation?  
No matter how hard he tried to push those thoughts aside, this voice inside his head did not stop telling him that they were true. If he had any friends, family or supporters then why was he alone as soon as he left his work place? Simple, he had none of the above mentioned. He was alone!  
Everyone was probably at home and having a good time with their family and friends. Only he was on his own. Yes, only he was alone!

Whenever the loneliness creeped into him at night, he tried to push it aside by remembering the times with his brothers. Back in those days the world had been alright. Hakuryuu had loved watching his brothers during their sword practice and had dreamed about how he would also be such a great swordsman and serve the empire one day as well. He couldn’t wait for the day on which his own practice would start and then his brothers may also teach him a few tricks. He would have loved to learn from them. Unfortunately, they never got the chance to teach him. This fact made him feel worse and hence he tried to not think about it, which surprisingly worked very well. The memories he had of his brothers were few, yet he could fill hours of loneliness with them. Hopefully, he would be able to make great memories with his family again someday. Who would have thought that memories could be so important to a person and their well-being?

Despite the tears he shed, he could not cry himself to sleep. The tears made it worse and his heart started to hurt. He hated it! It made him feel like a helpless little child.   
As a child, he would have gone to his mother and have her comfort him, but neither was he a child nor did he have a mother anymore. There was no one to comfort him anyway. Not in this kind of situations nor in general. If he had someone, he wouldn’t be in such a sorry state. Oh, how pathetic he was! What a disgrace for the Empire!

Sometimes he sat down next to his windows and looked up at the starry sky. It made him dream about all those heroes he had heard about in his childhood and made him dream about a world, in which he wasn’t on his own at night. Somehow his mind was able to trick itself into believing that he wasn’t alone and that in a few seconds someone would enter the room to keep him company. He just had to wait a little bit longer. Albeit, until now no one had ever come.  
When looking at the sky he dreamed about all the things he wanted to do, if he had someone at his side. Holding hands, sharing secrets, eating together, cooking together, comforting each other, laughing together and just sitting next to each other. He wanted to be special to somebody. He wanted someone, who was special to him. Until now this person only existed in his dreams and that’s why he clung to those – he knew his dreams would never come true and it was hard to be reminded of this every single day. His dreams could make him feel better, but also worse.   
Hakuryuu sighed. He wished there were a way to get rid of his negative thoughts and the loneliness. Life was hard enough without them, so he would definitely not miss them! Well, maybe he was just too sensitive. He shouldn’t complain so much. Other had it worse than him, right? And he? He was the emperor! There was nothing he couldn’t get – at least theoretically. He should get his shit together and stop being such a crybaby. His brothers should be proud of him! But how could they, if all he did was complaining?   
Once again he wanted to make a change and finally “became a man”: Stop with crying and complaining and accept the things the way they were, stop being so emotional and only live to fulfill his role as emperor! Until now he had failed to follow this resolution, but today everything would change. This time it would definitely came true! This time it was not just an empty resolution, which was forgotten with the next blink. Yes, this time everything was different! Or not.

Honestly, whom did he try to trick here? How should he suddenly stop himself from feeling something? Why should he? He was an emotional person and there was nothing wrong with that. All he had to do, was to watch out that his feelings didn’t get the best of him. Being led by emotions alone was not wise.   
He was smart and could be very slick, if wanted or needed. Just because others had a low opinion of him, didn’t mean that he had to look down on himself as well. Everyone else was just wrong! They wanted to put him down, because they were afraid of him, because they knew there was more to him than just a cute little boy. He had been in their way to power and so needed to push him down. His mind knew this, but liked to forget about it most of the time. His self-esteem was near the freezing point! And it was all their fault. It would take more years to recover from the hell he had been through. 

*

On silent feet he made his way down the dark hallway. His destination was a room at the end. He was sure that the other one was sound asleep, who wouldn’t at such a late hour – so he could carry out his plan without any interruption. Nervousness followed him ever since he had returned and made him look over his shoulder constantly. Hopefully no one had seen him until now. He didn’t want anyone to ask questions. A part of him had awaited, longed for this day for so many years, another part wanted to run away and postpone this day further.   
Yet, today was the right time to carry out his plan, because he only had the courage to do so now. It was just a feeling he had – one he had never thought to possess – that today everything would go smoothly. He would slip into the room, go through with his plan and then leave without anyone knowing that he had been there. Perfect!  
His hands were sweaty. No surprise, since he was so nervous. A lot was on the line! What if he got caught in action? No, he shouldn’t think like this! Think positive! Everything would go perfectly, just like that feeling, he had had not so long ago, had convinced him. Where was it now? Although he didn’t want to admit it, he was afraid and needed comfort. There was nobody in his life, he could have told about his scheme and therefore there was no one he could now lean on, no one that would comfort him. Well, he wouldn’t have allowed anyone to do that anyway, despite him wanting it. This was his problem, his issue. So, nobody else should interfere! 

The moon light barely reached him, so he hardly saw where he was or better said, if there was anything in front or next to him. He was an easy target right now. However, he knew the way to his destination better than anyone else! In case something was different than usual, he would definitely realize it.   
His feet were cold. Until now they never had felt so cold. Was it because of the late hour? Or was it due to the fact that he tried to distract himself – was he searching for an excuse to turn around and run? No, of course not! He would never run away! Up to now, he always had done what he wanted and he wouldn’t let anyone change that! No one would stop him from doing whatever the hell he wanted, not even himself! Sounded strange, even to himself, but this was unimportant. More important was the fact that he finally reached the door, which led into the room he called his destination. Hesitantly, he opened it after a more or less long time of just standing right in front of it and constantly playing with whatever he hid inside his pocket. There was no turning back anymore! It was sink or swim! And he didn’t want to sink. He wanted to live and be happy. Happiness was just a few steps away – at least if his plan went well. The operative word was “if”! On the other hand, if it did not then no harm was done either, since no one knew and would ever know that he had been here.  
From a logical point of view this was total nonsensical and stupid, but logic and him weren’t friends. So, there was nothing that could be done against this little contraction in his plan and his final goal. Maybe he knew, but didn’t want to make amends, because deep down he was too afraid of a negative outcome and the truth he then had to face – doing it this way was better, when he wanted to deny it later on. This plan was perfect! Perfect to whom, was a different and complicated question and he would not bother himself with complicated things. He was doing his own thing, just like always!

*

Hakuryuu had went to bed again. Falling asleep next to the cold window was not so pleasant and harder than in a warm and comfortable bed. And it was already hard to fall asleep there! He hoped that Judar would soon return from his trip. The black-haired Magi was good at distracting him and making him tired. And the palace was somewhat livelier with Judar around. It wasn’t so monotone. As annoying as Judar could be, it also could be very entertaining with him. Over the years Judar had become more mature and calm. He took his duties as Magi and advisor more serious, which was a nice change. Hakuryuu had to admit that he had been wrong about Judar for quite some time. The other one was indeed a reliable friend and good at listening to one’s complains without commenting on them – sometimes he would complain that he had to listen to Hakuryuu’s whining, but in the end the black Magi always came to Ryuu to listen anyway. Hakuryuu was happy about that gesture. It meant a lot to him.   
Had he ever told Judar? Probably not. Next time he would thank Judar for it and tell him how much he appreciated it. Yes, he would do that as soon as Judar was back! And he would cook something nice for his friend! They could eat together with Kougyoku – the three of them never had done so before and this needed to be changed. If he remembered correctly, hadn’t Judar complained not too long ago that Hakuryuu did not cook often enough and that he wanted to eat more of Hakuryuu’s cooking? Well, the reason why Hakuryuu hadn’t cooked much lately was simply due to him being extraordinarily busy with the political and economic affairs of the Empire. Thus, right now that things calmed down was the perfect time to make changes. All he had to do was to actually go through with it. Just making plans was easy, but implementing them was not.   
Judar liked peaches, so he should make something out of peaches. But he didn’t knew any recipes including peaches. Maybe the chef or one of the servants in the kitchen knew one. Or he made something else without peaches. It wasn’t like there were no other meals Judar liked, however peaches were the most liked one and the easiest. 

Now that he thought about, what kind of meal he should cook for his friend he remember something, he never thought had actually paid much attention to: Judar was always smiling, while eating, and praising Hakuryuu’s cooking. Alright, he had paid attention to it and it had made him feel great. His heart had felt so warm. However, he never had paid attention to the impact it had on him. Somehow he realized it only now, but he had thought about Judar’s smile, when eating his meals, from time to time. He had thought about Judar’s praise, while making food and it always had made him smile. Maybe he had not paid attention, because it was natural to be happy about praise or seeing how someone else appreciated one’s work. Creating a meal was work! Work Hakuryuu enjoyed and even made him relax, but it was still work.   
A smile played on his lips. His heart felt warm. It was a beautiful memory. He wanted more praise from Judar. He wanted more beautiful memories. When Judar was back he would tell him, what had happened in the meantime, while Judar ate and then he would listen to Judar’s story. Hopefully, Judar wanted to talk about his journey. Unfortunately, the black Magi was a bit incommunicative in this regard. At times it felt as if the other one tried to hide something. When Judar had problems, Hakuryuu wanted to help his friend. He preferred to know what was going on, to know the truth behind someone’s action, which was most of the time only possible, when knowing what happened in someone else’s life. For many years he had ignored, who Judar really was and had imposed his impression of Judar on the latter one, so he now wanted to know, who Judar really was! He could know it by now, but he had missed that change, which he sincerely regretted and wished to apologize for. By now he knew that Judar had suffered a lot, just like Hakuryuu himself. By now he knew that Judar was alone, just like Hakuryuu himself. By now he knew that he had been wrong all those years. 

Hakuryuu wrapped himself in his blanket. The warmth that cloaked him made him feel a bit better – as if he wasn’t alone, as if someone was here with him to warm him. Just an illusion, but better than nothing. Maybe he now would find sleep. Nice thoughts and surrounded by warmth were good conditions to fall asleep. He closed his eyes and hoped that it would soon be sound asleep. 

At first he did not hear, how someone entered his room and tiptoed to his bed. But he heard a soft click, which caused him so snap his eyes open and almost jump out of his bed. His heart was racing. Who was there? Who had entered his bedroom without permission and at such a late hour? An assassin? Hakuryuu grasped the first thing he could get out of reflex. It wasn’t only Hakuryuu, who was alarmed, the intruder also jumped, thereby he knocked down whatever he had put onto the nightstand. Luckily, before anything bad could happen – for example someone getting hurt – Hakuryuu recognized the other person.   
“Judar?”, Hakuryuu asked with an unsure undertone.   
Was this really Judar? And if so, what should he do here, especially in the middle of the night? Alright, Judar sometimes indeed showed up at night and misused Hakuryuu as pillow – until now the latter one had never minded this. It bewildered him, but one got used to it over the time.   
“What are you doing here?”  
A good question, if one asked Hakuryuu.   
“Yo!”, Judar greeted, “I am back.”  
“I can see that”, Hakuryuu responded.   
He slowly put back what he had grasped out of reflex.   
“Where have you been?”, he asked.  
“Somewhere.”  
“You don’t say.”  
Well, what had he expected? Judar hadn’t said where he was about to go, when he had left, so why should he say it now?   
Out of tiredness Hakuryuu sat down on his bed. This was perfect time to fall asleep, but he was curious what Judar wanted. On the other hand, he could ask that later again, without getting an answer. Judar could be very stubborn at times. 

Judar picked up the tiny bock he had knocked off before and put it inside his pocket and then made himself comfortable next to Hakuryuu on the bed.   
“Why are you still awake?”, he wanted to know.   
He sounded somewhat worried – or Hakuryuu had just imagined it.  
“Because, obviously, I cannot sleep.”  
“Feeling lonely?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, I am here now. So, you are not lonely anymore.”  
“That’s right. By the way, why are you here? You should have gone to your room and sleep. It is pretty late, you know.”  
“I know. I just wanted to give you something”, Judar answered and looked away.   
“You could have done so later. It’s not like I will be gone at the end of the night”, Hakuryuu noted. The Magi hid something and Hakuryuu wanted to know, what it was. They were friends, right? So they could tell each other everything, or not?  
“Well, I just wanted to be done with it. You know that I am bad at remembering things, so why not give you what I wanted to give you, while I do remember it?”  
“But you had no intention of waking me up, right? Consequently, I would probably never known that you gave me something or wanted to do so. What good should that be?”  
Judar stayed silent. He didn’t want to admit that he was too afraid of facing Hakuryuu directly, when giving him the small box.   
Since Judar did not say anything and did not hand over whatever he wanted to give Hakuryuu, the latter one ask: “What do you want to give me?”  
Hakuryuu got more and more tired. It was only a question of time until he would finally fall asleep, especially now that he wasn’t alone anymore. 

Hesitantly, Judar grabbed the box inside his pocket and shoved it into Hakuryuu’s hands. Still looking away from the latter one. Not saying anything. Curiously Hakuryuu inspected the tiny black box. Judar had never brought anything back from his trips, besides a few stories of what he had experienced on his journey, but never had it been a gift. He took his sweet time until he opened it. What he found inside surprised him. Words failed him. A big smile appeared on his face. With great care he took the small thing out of the box to take a better look at it.   
“Do you like it?”, Judar asked insecurely.   
“Yes, I do”, Hakuryuu answered smiling, while looking at his gift.  
It was the most beautiful gift he had ever received and the one with the most important meaning behind.


	5. Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5\. One Shot (Ren Hakuryuu & Ren Kougyoku): Hakuryuu searches for a new playmate and finds Kougyoku. Together they take a bath and have a tea party afterwards.

Playing alone never was fun, even less so, when there were others to play with around, but no one was really up to interact with one. Hakuryuu mostly played with his older sister Hakuei, but she often had other things to do. The other children at the palace were no fun to play with, since they only saw him as prince or at least their parents did and so they did behave strange around him. All he wanted was someone to enjoy his free time with. Adults also were no good as playmates, they had no imagination. They were so boring. However, he loved playing with his older brothers or his mother. Unfortunately, neither of them had much time for him, which he understood, but it still was saddening. When they got older Hakuei also got busier with other things. She had decided that she wanted to be a warrior in her father’s army and therefore she did not only attend her “princess” lessons, but also trainings sessions of the soldiers. Consequently, Hakuryuu was left to himself more and more often. At first he just followed his sister, but he was just seen as a burden during training.   
The only other child, and the only one that did not act differently around him, was Judar. A boy a bit older than Hakuryuu, with long black hair and red eyes. A strange fellow, so full of himself, which impressed Hakuryuu – but he would never admit that –, always mean to others and capable of using a scary, yet interesting power called magic. The scary adults around the boy called him a Magi, whatever that meant, but it seemed to be the name for someone important. Maybe that was the case and caused Judar to act normal around him, a prince, because they both were of high position? Well, whatever it was, Judar was actually nice to him and was a playmate that did not care about their upbringing. Sadly, Judar was the only one Hakuryuu could play with, but the boy was often traveling the world and when he was at the palace, he was surrendered by those masked priests. So, they had barely any time to play with each other. During the time they played together, however, he always had a lot of fun. Judar knew some nice magical tricks and had some great ideas for new games. Some of those games caused the adults to scold them, but that did not take out the fun in them. Yet Hakuryuu did not like getting scold, especially not by his mother. He was a good boy! On the other hand, he did not want Judar to see him as some boring crybaby. Hakuyuu and Hakuren did not seem to like Judar either. At first Hakuryuu had missed their looks and words, but somehow he figured it out and when he asked, why they dislike the other boy, they did not give a satisfying answer. Just because Judar was a bit rude and overconfident did not make him into a bad guy and Hakuryuu would not say that his friend – his only real friend at that – had a bad influence on him. Why were adults always so judgmental? Well, his older brothers were not around very often – he still loved them to no end, but it made him sad to see his friend and his brothers not getting along with each other all of a sudden – so it was easy to ignore their dislike of Judar. There had been a time, when Judar was pretty welcomed by Hakuren and Hakuyuu, but that changed all of a sudden. 

Being at the palace while his siblings were out and Judar was traveling the world – Hakuryuu wished, he could also travel around, because it sounded like a lot of fun – meant Hakuryuu was on his own. His mother and sister were busy with their own things. Of course, Hakuei spent a lot of time with him, yet she had duties to attend to, despite being pretty young herself – the life of the first princess was not a piece of cake. So, when no one had time for him, Hakuryuu was wandering around the palace, which was so giant that it was easy to get lost. The hallways looked the same everywhere, which was not helpful in navigating oneself around. Servants were running around, but none of them paid much attention to the young prince, when he was exploring his own home. To a certain extent this was kind of nice, because no one would ask questions or tell him where he was allowed to go or not. His small height help as well, it was so easy to just overlook him – not that he normally would consider this to be a good thing, because usually people used it to make fun of him. One day he would be at least as tall as his big brother Hakuyuu! He would be a tall, handsome and smart man like Hakuyuu! Well, maybe not as tall, handsome and smart as Hakuyuu, but close to it! Big goals for someone so small. Yet it was the big dreams that kept one moving, right? 

During his exploration, Hakuryuu came across a part of the palace that seemed abandoned. A few servants were here, but not as many as anywhere else. He wondered, who lived in this part. The libraries and studies were in a different corner of the palace, that’s for sure! And the servants and guards had their sleeping quarters somewhere else, too. Was Judar’s room around here? He was not at the palace right now, so there was no need for the servants to be here, besides maybe cleaning, so it was tidy when the Magi returned. Now that Hakuryuu thought about it, he never had been in Judar’s room before and he had never shown his own room to other one. They were friends, so shouldn’t they invite each other into their rooms and play there as well? As soon as the other one would be back, he would definitely take him to his room! But first things first: Where was he and who lived here, in case someone even lived here? Maybe it was just some kind of storage area?   
Curious as he was, he looked into all the rooms, after knocking first of course. There was the possibility that someone was inside, and it would be rude to just enter into their private space without even knocking. However, all the rooms were empty, at least there were no people inside, but it appeared that people lived here, they were just not there right now – probably working. 

In a room at the end of the hallway, he finally met someone. Well, it took a little look-around to find the small girl, who was hiding under a table. He slowly approached her, a bit anxious and nervous. Admittedly he never had been got with talking to others and making friends. Moreover, the girl looked desolated. Her hair was a mess and her clothes appeared somewhat dirty and a bit too big for her. Where was her mother? Or the maids? Shouldn’t there be someone to take care of her? Of course, there was no reason to stick to a child all day long, but she seemed to be left alone for quite some time.   
Hakuryuu assumed that she was his age, which would make her a perfect playmate.   
“Hello”, Hakuryuu tried to start a conversation.   
His voice low. Neither did he wanted to scare her – she seemed not to have noticed his presence – nor was he loud when speaking to strangers in general. He was pretty shy in this regards, which was probably due to him being afraid of receiving a rejection from his conversation partner. Being rejected was painful and scary.   
As he reached the table, he got down on his knees and crawled next to her, with enough space between them so she still had enough space for herself. Despite his “hello” the girl was so scared, when he appeared next to her, that she jumped up, bumped her had against the desk and crouched together, because of the pain in her head. She began to cry, which startled Hakuryuu. It hadn’t been his intention to scar her or even make her cry. What should he do now? Seeing her crying made him want to cry as well.   
What should he do?   
What should he do?   
What should he do?   
Panic rose inside him and tears welled in his eyes.   
“I am sorry! I am sorry! I am sorry!”, he cried.   
“Please don’t cry. Please!”, he begged her. 

The crying of the two children was not overheard by a servant, who checked on them. Hakuryuu was brought to his mother, who patiently listen to what had happened. He felt so horrible! He made someone cry! Because of him someone was hurt!   
Who was comforting the girl? 

*

Still feeling guilty for what he had done the other day, Hakuryuu took some of his toys and walked to the room of the nameless girl again. After what he had done, he needed to apologize to her. That was the least he could do! And who knows: Maybe they could make up with each other and then became playmates! All relationships had to start somewhere. This could be their start!  
Knocking gently at the door, entering with a soft “hello” and slowly walking through the empty looking room, he searched for the girl of yesterday.   
This time she was not crouching under a table, but was playing with her puppets in a room deeper in the inner. When she heard his footsteps, she turned around and froze for a second, just to run off in the next room and hide under another table. She was shaking. Was he that scary? Wasn’t everyone make fun of him for being so small and cute and weak? How could one consider him scary? He did not want to be scary! He wanted to be friends with the girl. She seemed just as lonely as he was. Judar could also became a friend of hers. All of them could play together! Sounded great!  
“Hello there, I am Hakuryuu. Ren Hakuryuu. I came to apologize for yesterday. It wasn’t my intention to scary you. I am sorry!”, he said hoping this would help.   
He really wanted to get along with her.   
“I brought some toys with me. Do you want to play?”  
This time she did not back further away, but looked at him and the things in his hands. A slow nod was her answer. 

Playing was awkward in the beginning, still after hours of doing so and changing the game from time to time, made things easier. He hadn’t asked for her name, because there had been no reason and somehow, he was unsure how to ask her. A simple “What’s your name” could have done the deal, yet it was so hard to say. They stopped around lunch time, because both of them were hungry. A servant came by to bring something to eat to the girl and was surprised to find the third prince with her.   
After lunch it was time for a short nap and then more playtime. Yet, Hakuryuu had decided that there was something more important than games. For whatever reason his new playmate was left on her own for most of the time and one could see that. Her red hair was a mess, her clothes were rumpled, the room she lived in was dark, untidy and a bit smelly. So, a bath was needed! Taking a bath with a friend should be fun – could he already call her one after only a few hours knowing her? He did not even knew her name!   
“Say, do you want to take bath? Afterwards we can make your hair and then play more!”, Hakuryuu exclaimed enthusiastic.   
Until now he never had been able to show his bath toys to others. He had a lot of them and playing alone with them was boring. The girl nodded again and so he took her by the hand and led her to his room. Right next to his room was the bathroom. A servant was ordered to take care of the children, so nothing bad happened. Not that those two would drown or got hurt. Hakuryuu did not like that, he was a big boy already and could wash himself without any help! There was no need for a supervisor. On the other hand that guy could make himself useful and bring them the toys and fitting clothes, because in all his enthusiasm Hakuryuu had forgotten to bring clothes with him. But this was a thought he only had after they were almost finished with bathing. In the end he was just a kid. Who could hold that against him? Playing with the bath toys was far more interesting and important than clothes!

After bathing, the two kids went to Hakuryuu’s room. One of the many servants had brought them their clothes. However, Hakuryuu did not like that his new friend was wearing such shabby ones compared to his. It felt so wrong. So he demanded other clothes for her. His sister Hakuei must have some leftovers from the time she had been their age, right? So why not give them to the girl? No one would mind it, right?  
And so, after the whole cloth matter was handled, it was time to do their hair! For that Hakuryuu and his new friend sat down on the ground and he offered her to comb her hair, which she accepted with another nod. She was not a talkative person. He did not mind it. Judar was loud, rude and rough, so the girl was a nice contrast to that.   
Combing her hair was a bit difficult, because some parts of her long hair were matted. He didn’t want to make her cry again, but it was impossible to get tangles out without it hurting. In the end, he was able to remove the tangles and he even got her name! She was Kougyoku, eighth princesses of the Kou Empire, so she was his cousin. Why had he never heard of her before? Well, considering that he barely knew anyone from his uncle’s family, it was not that surprising. Kouen and Koumei were the only children from his uncle he knew about. The two older boys served beside Hakuyuu and Hakuren in the army. Kouen also sometimes talked with Hakuei about matters Hakuryuu did not understand. He himself also had a few encounters with Kouen, but he was too scared of his cousin and therefore tried to avoid contact with him, which caused some trouble and confusion. He felt bad for behaving like this, but he could not stop feeling extremely uncomfortable with the older one. It was a strange thought that Kougyoku and Kouen were related with each other. She looked so sweet, nothing like Kouen or Koumei. Maybe it was due to her being a girl? Or because she was not as tall and muscular as her oldest brother. 

*

“Hakuryuu, I want to play “tea party”. Would you play it with me?”, Kougyoku asked softly.   
Her eyes were fixed on the ground before her.   
“Um, yeah, sure. Let’s play!”  
Tea party did not sound exciting, but until now they had played what he had suggested, so it was only fair to let her decided what to play next. And maybe it would be more fun than he expected. Until now he had never played tea party.   
“What do we have to do?”  
A big smile appeared on her face! She looked so cute with it! Seeing her so happy made him happy as well.   
With a curious expression Hakuryuu watched her, as Kougyoku set up one of the children’s table in a side room of Hakuryuu’s bedroom. Besides cups, plates and snakes she also brought stuffed animals with her. A servant brought the tea. The animals were the other guests, because a party needed more than just two invitees. A party was more fun with more people attending it, as long as it was not too crowded.   
Hakuryuu added some of his stuffed animals to the group. 

Having tea after lunch was nice and eating cookies was the best! Kougyoku tried to sound like one of those noble ladies that also attended those boring political parties, which were sometimes held in the palace – Hakuryuu had to attend those events more than once and they were horrible for a child. All this behaving well and looking perfect. It was really hard and there was no one to talk to or play with. And the adults talked about so complicated stuff with complicated words that Hakuryuu could not even repeat – less had he ever understood, what they had said.   
However, all those complicated words were perfect for their tea party, despite both of them not being able to pronounce them correctly or understand them. It was a lot of fun. The stuffed animals were named with odd, yet funny sounding names. But the most important thing was the fact that they both were laughing a lot, while drinking good tasting tea and eating great tasting cookies.   
Next time, when Judar was around, they needed to have a tea party again!


	6. Masquerade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6\. One Shot (Ren Hakuryuu): People wore masks for different reason, but Hakuryuu is sick and tired of it. He wishes no one would wore a mask, would not need to wear one.

They all wore masks. No exceptions. He also wore one now and hoped he did a good job therewith. Some people wore their mask wrong and were seen through. Others wore them so well that it was hard to tell whether they were pretending or just themselves. How many had lost their real self to a mask? Would he lose himself one day as well? Or had he already lost?   
There was nothing bad about wearing a mask, especially as a ruler. Showing emotions during an important negotiation could snap one’s neck. Every sane person would use the feelings of the ruler to their advantage. Furthermore, wearing a mask could help one to get through hard times – it was a way to cope. However it was easy to lose oneself to the fake personality. Hakuryuu himself was not sure anymore, what of his personality was himself and what were his brothers. After their deaths he started to copy them, not only their behaviors and personality, but also their looks. It was a way for him to cope with his lose and maintain his sanity. Unfortunately, this was not a good idea, when thinking about the fact that he still had been a small child back then and had to develop his own personality. Now that he was an adult it was hard to tell what part of him was really him and how much of the time he had played pretend was left in him. On the other hand, one could say that he was himself, because the mask was a part of him as well. Did it matter in the end? Wasn’t it more important to be able to see through the masks of others? Who cared about oneself, everything was fine as long as others could not see through one. Hakuryuu liked himself the way he was. And he liked his sister – or had liked. He wasn’t sure anymore.  
As child he had been naïve and thought that everyone was honest and that bad people were simply bad, while good people were good by default. Little had he known that some of the bay guys were just pretending, so they could protect their dear ones and themselves. Little had he known that some of the good guys were just pretending, so they got what they wanted – and what they wanted was power. The world wasn’t that easy, couldn’t be divided into white and black. The world was gray – not colorful, this was just a cover, a mask – and humans had to identify the different shades of grey to see, who was a good and who was a bad person for them. Yet this also rose the question, what exactly was “good” and what was “bad”.  
For him Gyokuen, or better said Arba, was bad. She had killed her own family, her friends and wanted to murder all of humanity, just to bring back a god and did not even feel bad about it in the slightest. After he had discovered that she was behind the murder of his family, he had thought that she also had worn a mask all this years, pretending to be a caring mother and wife. Today he was sure she did not pretended at all. She really was a loving and caring wife and mother, at the same time she also was a despicable and heartless insane murderer. It had taken him a long time to even think that a person could be both – good and bad at the same time. Arba had loved her children and husband – Hakuryuu was sure that it was not possible to hold up such a perfect act for so long without anyone noticing –, but as soon as they turned against her – did not follow her insane world destruction plan –, she discarded all her feelings and got rid of them. Hakuryuu did not like to admit it, but he somehow could understand this. He himself often felt strongly for the people around him, but as soon as they betrayed or failed him, his strong positive feelings towards them turned into the opposite. It was nothing he could change – he either loved or hated, there was no in-between. The same seemed to apply for Arba. Of course, this were all his thoughts and he had no way of proofing them right or wrong, yet it was a conclusion he had come to and was fine with. In a strange way it made him feel at ease. Maybe because now his mind would no longer wonder, how a mother could turn into such a monster and he could fool himself into believing that he had been loved once by his mother. Love was something he still sought – he needed so much of it, but got none at all. Although he had made his peace with his past, he often thought about the real Ren Gyokuen. Who had she been? And how had she lost herself to Arba? Had Gyokuen also worn a mask? A mask named Arba and lost? He wished he could ask someone about her.

After the fire incident, he was finally able to tell, if someone wore a mask or not. The only person he was unsure about was his sister Hakuei. Maybe because he did not want her to wear a mask, since this could mean she wasn’t honest to him. She had been all he had left back then. And because of him closing his eyes towards her, he now was insecure about their relationship. He couldn’t understand her and what she was thinking, at the same time he was sure she also did not know what he was thinking and she probably couldn’t understand him as well. She hadn’t known the truth about her family’s death and who was responsible for it. He had told her, yet he did not know whether she believed him or even cared about it. When he had told her, she did not seem to really care much about it and was more worried about the empires unification goal – in which she believed so much that she even accepted the murder of her family and yet failed to see how flawed and harmful it was. Nowadays there was no war anymore, they had achieved peace, but the Kou Empire was not ruling the whole world like it had been Kouen’s intention. However Hakuryuu cared more about the peace part than the ruling part and he hoped Hakuei agreed with him – a few years ago he had not even doubt it, but now he did not dare to make such an assumption. More than once he had been betrayed by people he had believed in.  
Sadly things could not get better for him. The people around him all wore masks. He knew them. They were those nobles that pampered him, when his father and brothers were still alive, and looked down on him, when they died. Now they acted as if they had been on his side all the time. It was disgusting, but he could not change it. Some of them hold an important position and therefore were necessary for the stability of the Empire. He hadn’t made those rules, he could only try and change them step by step, but for now he had to play along. Well, it wasn’t like he could see through everyone, who wore a mask and sometimes he even failed to see the mask, but he was not as naïve as many years ago. For example, he knew that king Sinbad wore a mask, just like every other king, but he had failed to realize how dangerous and complex this mask had been. The most difficult aspect of Sinbad was probably that he did not always wore his mask, sometimes he took it off and was honest. His pretended self and his real self were close to each other, yet were so different. For Sindria and its allies this was perfect, for their enemies it was annoying and difficult to deal with. Back then Hakuryuu had been too young to handle someone like that, now he was more experienced and at least stood a chance against someone like Sinbad, although he still had to learn a lot. However he got better and better in reading and understanding others. All he had to learn was how to use this skill and for this he had to work on himself and his own public mask. Of course he wished for a world where no one had to wear one, where no one wore a mask, but this was an extremely childish dream. Something like this would never come true – but one could dream.

Judar was probably the only person Hakuryuu had met, who never wore a mask, which changed his personality – assuming that Arba had pretended to be a caring wife and mother, if she hadn’t pretended Judar was the second person. The mask Judar wore, existed to hide his own feelings. Such a mask was the hardest to identify, because it was hard for someone else to look into someone’s head and know what the other one felt. There were people that could perfectly hide their feeling or trick others into believing they felt a certain way, without really feeling like that – some even were so good at lying about their feelings that they believed their own lies. And there were people that really did not care about anything. So it was hard to tell, whether someone was just hiding their feelings or not – a common problem with masks and those who wore them perfectly.   
However Judar never lied about liking Hakuryuu or that he cared about him. Judar just wasn’t good at showing it. His friend was a little bit like a child in this regard and Hakuryuu hoped this would never change. It was annoying enough to deal with all this false people at work, so he wanted at least one person to be at his side, who was honest with him and who he could be honest with. He wanted to be himself and when he was not on duty he would do so, and no one could stop him from doing so.

The sad truth was that the very second someone was born, one had to play along in this masquerade, even when one did not want to. Those who refused to play along would die soon. How many had died because they had to hide their true self? How many have been killed for being themselves? How many have committed crimes to hide who they really were? How many have fallen victims to this masquerade and how many more would be sacrificed for it? He was determined not to fall! So many people had suffered because of his Empire – because of his father, his brothers, his mother, his uncle and his cousin and he himself had cause his people stuffer as well – therefore he had to make up for all these crimes. Since he was nothing more than a mere human, he could not bring back the dead or turn back time, however he could built an empire in which everyone was save and was allowed to be themselves. For this he had to do a lot of work and he probably would not achieve his dream during his own lifetime, but one had to start somewhere. Step by step he would try to get rid of those masks – to fully get rid of them, the people of the empire had to work with him. Of course, he was aware that humans tented to behave different depending on the person and their feelings towards this person. This was not was he was trying to eliminate. What he was after was the purposely faking.

Hakuryuu couldn’t wait until he had not to deal with all those false nobles around him anymore and did not have to play pretend all the time. There was a lot to do and Hakuryuu was willing to do it all, because he was so sick and tired of this masquerade and the consequences that came with it – there were consequences if one played along and consequences when one did not play along. Hakuryuu refused to live a life dictated and controlled by others, and so he did want his people to be free as well.


	7. The first and the last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7\. One Shot (Ren Hakuryuu/fem!OC): Hakuryuu was her first and last love, and Judar was responsible for it! She didn't mind, neither did Hakuryuu.

He was both her first and last love. 

The first time she saw him, he had been nothing but an illusion. An image created by a friend of his. An image created by someone, who loved him as much as she did. At that moment she thought he was beautiful and seemed kind. She hadn’t been in love yet. Their first encounter could have been better. It had been embarrassing!

*

She acted tough all the time, as if nothing could hurt her and as if she didn’t care about a thing, yet it was all a lie, an act – a good act. Everyone knew that she lived in an abusive household, but no one tried to help her out. She was on her own. Not that it ever had been different – it was the only way of living she knew. As far as she could remember there never had been a time at which she was save. Only one person gave her security and educated her. So, she was able to read and write, do simple math and understood the principles of economy. Such knowledge was quite helpful. Unfortunately, she hadn’t had many chances to use or improve it in her home village. The village was too small and isolated. As long as her uncle was alive, he could support and practice with her, but without him things would get harder. Somehow she would managed, she told herself.   
With her reading knowledge she was able to read a few medical books, which her uncle had given her, and therefore learned how to heal – at least a little bit. With the little bit of mathematic knowledge she was able to save money, which she then saved up for her own sake – one day she would leave this godforsaken place and live a peaceful life! This knowledge was helpful when she met a stranger called Judar. Judar was the key that set her journey into freedom into motion. He was at fault for her falling in love and she was thankful for that. 

When she first met him, he acted like he knew everything and was the strongest, but pretty soon she saw through his act. Years ago he had been kidnapped by a crazy cult and was used – abused – by them to take over the world – or better said to destroy the world. Now he was back in his home village and decided to help the people there to rebuild it. The village was poor and the people there had a hard time with their harvest. For some unknown reason the soil around the village was of poor quality, which made it hard to grow food there. Furthermore, most of the villagers were older people, who lacked the strength to work on the fields all day. Judar wanted to help, because he felt responsible to a certain extent. If he had never been born, if he had never been born as a magi, the people wouldn’t had to suffer like this. She felt sorry for him. Of course, it was not his fault and no one besides himself was blaming him for what had happened so long ago. She decided to help him out. Why? Well, she didn’t know, it just felt right to offer her help. A friendship blossomed between them. He was the first to listen to her and who understood her.   
One day he brought a noble to the village to help with the field work, surprisingly the noble was not bad – a crybaby and useless for anything else, but he was useful on the fields and this was all that mattered. She, on the other hand, used her medical knowledge to help the elders to get better – whatever had happened years ago had also caused a huge damage to the people here. Since she wasn’t omniscient, she needed the wisdom of the older women to make the medicine. The time she spent with Judar and his people made her smile, made her forget what awaited her at home. For the first time in a long while she felt good, needed, useful and at peace. Moreover, she opened up to Judar, although that guy acted rude and like he didn’t care. They were pretty much alike in this regard. Not that she would admit something like this out loud. Differently than him she was empathetic and tough – at least in her dreams. Denying their similarity was hard and useless, yet it had something amusing. She had a strange sense of humor. 

Judar also opened up about his past and his inner thoughts, his feelings about his past and mostly about his king and only friend, with whom he was about to conquer the world or at least take back what had been stolen from them – that guy sounded like an asshole, just like Judar – and thereby her love story was set into motion. 

*

When she first met the person called Ren Hakuryuu, she was on the ground with her father towering over her. She did not fight back often, but sometimes she couldn’t stand it anymore and tried to fight back. It was stupid and she knew it. Compared to her father she was weak and had no skills to defend herself. She couldn’t give and give and give all the time. She couldn’t take one beating after the other all the time. She couldn’t let herself be treated like this all the time. Her brain told her that she deserved better, but also told her to accept how she was treated because there was nothing she could do against it. Inside of her was a war going on. Fighting for her freedom was something she wanted to do, but couldn’t because she lacked the power and the courage. Living a life in constant fear and abuse was a life she didn’t want to live, but had to accept if she didn’t fight against it. Oh, how much she hated herself for her cowardice and laziness. She wanted to be a strong person, a warrior, but in the end she was nothing but a stupid little girl – she was nothing but talk or better thought, because she did not even talk, since she was too cowardly.  
Judar had led Hakuryuu to her house. Not that he had sensed anything, but he was so happy about having his friend and king back at his side, so he wanted to introduce her to the greatest king vessel of all! Her impression of said king vessel whenever she listened to the Magi’s jabbering, was a negative one, contrary to her first impression of him, when she had only seen the image Judar had provided her with by magic. To her it sounded like the perfect description of a power-hungry tyrant, who did not care about anyone or anything but himself and looked down on everyone else. A typical ruler of the Kou Empire – well, a typical ruler in general. A typical man. They were all the same, according to her. Never had she met someone, who was different. They all were nothing but monsters. Just like her father! It was a shame she couldn’t do anything against that monster!

Hakuryuu hadn’t been alone, when he saved her. Judar had been there as well. She and Judar had been very surprised, when suddenly plants were growing out of Judar’s pockets. Plants she had never heard of or seen before. Judar on the other hand just smiled and said that his king was back, so he would go and greet him. Back then she hadn’t understood, why he said this or how his king was connected to plants, but she said nothing. If Judar wanted to believe that his king was back, why stopping him? Maybe he was indeed right and she soon would meet that person, who Judar seemed to love so much. Then she could see how great his king really was. She was ready to change her mind about him, if he gave her a good reason to do so. Her first impression of Judar wasn’t the best either, but they had become friends very slowly. Well, maybe “friends” was too much to call them at that point, but they were on their way to friendship. Therefore, maybe Judar’s king wasn’t as bad as it had sounded in his stories.  
The day they first met, Judar had brought Hakuryuu to her house. Judar had the habit of not knocking – she only knew about this, because she had seen him entering other people’s house without doing so. He had brought her home from time to time, but until now he had never entered it. So when he pushed open the front door and stepped inside, it was also his first time inside her house. Hakuryuu was a bit hesitant, since he felt it was wrong to enter someone else’s house without permission, but when he saw the scene in front of him, he forgot his concerns and manners and acted without thinking much. Judar wasn’t any slower in his reaction and while Hakuryuu took care of her father, Judar helped her up and brought her away from the angry shouting man. Under other circumstances she may have worried about Hakuryuu or had refused their help, but back then she was just too tired. She hated her life so much. She hated her own weakness and how she was not able to change anything. All she wanted was it to end. She was so sick and tired of all this crap.

When Hakuryuu come to her room, Judar had brought her there, after taking care of her father, she looked at him for the first time in person and was amazed by how young and soft he looked. Somehow she had imaged him to look more serious and hard. More like one of those buffy soldiers she had seen. But he looked so different. Yes, Judar had shown her images of his king before, but she people could change over the course of time. The last time Judar and Hakuryuu had met was three years ago. A lot could happen in this time.  
His pleasant appearance was calming and she was happy that he didn’t look like she had imaged or else she would probably feel more uncomfortable. It was embarrassing enough for her that those two had to witness such a scene and had to rescue her. They probably saw her as a weak woman now. Well, she was weak and she was a woman, but this didn’t mean she wanted to be viewed as such. There was more to her than that!  
She was so embarrassed that she did not even dare to look Hakuryuu in the eye. However she took a short glance at him. His scar, the mismatched eyes and the mole on his chin were the first things she noticed and what she remembered. She had a huge problem with remembering faces and therefore with recognizing people. This may be because she barely looked at others. How should she remember someone, when she did not even know how that person looks like, since she hadn’t looked at them properly? But like Judar, Hakuryuu had a memorable face. There weren’t that many people with a scar and mismatched eyes out there. Also his clothes were different from those around him. So remembering and recognizing him was easy – the same applied for Judar with his long black hair, red eyes and his extravagant clothing style. Compared to those two she looked quite boring with her black hair – a little bit longer than Hakuryuu’s – and blue eyes. Nothing special.  
Judar and she sat on her bed. He stroke softly over her back, a gesture she hadn’t thought would come from him, since he always seemed so distant and cruel, while she cried. Although she was sobbing and shaking she hadn’t realized that she was crying. Her mind was busy with processing what had happened just a moment ago.   
“We should leave for today”, Hakuryuu said in a soft voice.  
He had bend down on his knees and placed his hand on her left shoulder – Judar was on her right. From a logical point of view this was the best choice, however she didn’t want to leave her uncle alone. Until now her father had never done anything against him – it almost seemed like he was afraid of her uncle –, but this could change as soon as she was gone, even when it was just for a day or two. Therefore she declined Hakuryuu’s suggestion and thanked him and Judar for their help. She had managed to survive until now, so she would survive a few more years. However, the two men were not so easy to get rid of and extremely stubborn. After a long discussion they convinced her to leave with them for the day. They would go to Judar’s house and spent the night there, tomorrow they would go back to her house and see, if her father had calmed down. Of course, the two had no intention of leaving her with her father at all, even when he had calmed down, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t attack her as soon as he was alone with her again. Unfortunately they also couldn’t take her with them. There was a battle ahead of them and none of them wanted to involve her in it. It was not her fight and there was no reason to unnecessarily endanger her life. So, they had planned to leave her with Judar’s relatives. Tomorrow they would only get some of her things and then bring her back. That her uncle couldn’t leave the house was a problem, but neither Hakuryuu nor Judar had put much thought into this matter, since her father had never attacked her uncle, so maybe the other man was save.

*

When it was time to depart for Judar and Hakuryuu, she left with them. Without any warning she had appeared before them and stated her business. Of course, Hakuryuu was against her coming with them. Judar, on the other hand, couldn’t care less. He often teased her that she was only interested in Hakuryuu and tried to snatch his king away. Yes, she was interested in Hakuryuu, because she had never met a royal before and Judar’s stories about him and his powers had made her curious. But she had no intention of stealing Hakuryuu away from Judar. Why should she? Her intention was to get free and see new things. All her life she had dreamed about leaving her home village and travel the world. She wanted to use all the things she had learned and wanted learn even more new things. Hakuryuu and Judar were the best opportunity! It was now or never! Beforehand she had talked about it with her uncle, who also was the one who gave her the courage to really make this decision. Night after night she had thought about leaving, but hadn’t had courage of doing so. What would happen to her uncle? What should she do, when she didn’t get along with the other two? Would she find her way home? What should she do, if she got lost? There were so many “what if” and uncertainties that she was paralyzed by fear. However, in the end she made her move!  
Somehow she convinced Hakuryuu to take her with him. Maybe it was, because he couldn’t order her to stay at home. If she wanted to leave, she was free to do so. The question was just, whether she would go with them or on her own and the thought of her alone in this repeatedly changing world made Hakuryuu feel uneasy. Slavery was abolished, but this didn’t mean that there weren’t any bad people out there that still caught others and enslaved them – it was just hidden behind the face of “business”. Someone like her was easy meat for them.

So the three traveled back to the Kou Empire together. She kept her distance from the two, because for one she did not trust them enough – enough to follow them, but not enough to get too close – and because she felt she would only interrupt their privacy. They seemed so close with each other. Maybe they were more than king and servant, she had thought, but not dared to ask. This was none of her business. However, she asked a lot about her surroundings and the general state of the world. In her little village the big changes were neither seen nor heard, so when she left and saw all those huge buildings, the new ways of transport and the strange deceives used by people, she was intimidated and amazed likewise. Hakuryuu never had talked and explained so much in his whole life like he did in the days he spent with her, but he didn’t mind it. At first it had been quite awkward between the three of them – Hakuryuu was not good with strangers or making friends – but over time it got better, which was due to her constantly asking question and Hakuryuu always answering. Judar didn’t know much about the world either and listened silently to his king.  
When they had to take a break and stayed at an inn, they all slept in one room, because they had to save money. Of course the first times no one was comfortable with it. Hakuryuu used his djinn Zagan to create a curtain for her side of the room, so she had her privacy.  
As soon as the atmosphere between them got better, the evenings also got more entertaining and weren’t as dull as before. Hakuryuu and she often talked about different recipes or she would share her little knowledge in medicine with him, while he taught her the Torran language. In one of the cities they traveled through he had bought a scroll with an ancient text for her, which she was now studying. In the evening Hakuryuu would make them a nice cup of tea – Judar didn’t appreciate it thou. She, on the other hand, enjoyed it very much. Also Hakuryuu taught her a lot and someday she was brave enough to ask him about his past. Thanks to Judar she already knew a few things, but she wanted to her his version of the events. She wanted to know about his childhood, about the time after his brother’s death, about his decision to fight his own empire and why he had left it only one year after he freed it from the evil organization. He was hesitant at first and only gave her a brief summary of his life – until now no one had really listened to him or cared about his life, so he felt uncomfortable to share it with anyone. What if he got judged again? Ignored again? What if she would look down on him or tell him that the traumatizing events he had been through did not matter and he should just get over them? He was afraid of getting rejected and hurt again. He had enough of this.  
She didn’t mind, when he didn’t want to talk about his past, then she wouldn’t ask any further. Instead she told him about her past, which wasn’t anything interesting. Nevertheless he seemed to be interested. Their conversation turned longer and longer every day, so sometimes they would fall asleep on their chair instead of their beds. The only one complaining about this was Judar, because he couldn’t get enough sleep due to them talking all night long. No one cared about his whining. If it really was that bad he could sleep somewhere else or say something. But he kept silent all the time. Maybe because he wanted to listen to their conversations or because he actually was asleep and only complained because he had nothing better to do. Or he didn’t like the fact that his king made friends with her. Maybe he felt lonely? No one knew. When Judar and she were alone they got alone pretty well, so it could also be that he was afraid that she would stop being his friend. So many possibilities.

*

Sometimes they also had to sleep in a tent, since no city or village was nearby. This kind of accommodation was cheaper than an inn, but also far more uncomfortable. Although the three of them got along better every day, it was still a bit awkward to sleep so close to each other – at least Hakuryuu and she had problems therewith, Judar didn’t mind at all. For him it was more problematic that he had no bed to sleep in and was constantly complaining about this. Thankfully the times they had to use a tent were quite few, so they hadn’t had to bother much with Judar’s whining. He was such a pampered child – if it weren’t so annoying it could be funny.

On one day of their traveling through the dessert a small incident happened, which caused the three to split up. Hakuryuu and she have fallen into a cave, at least she had thought it was one, while Judar was somewhere else on his own. According to Judar he had been outside the whole time and had searched for them, because they had suddenly disappeared. Due to the fall she had lost her consciousness, which she regained after Hakuryuu woke her up. He had looked very worried. She started to worry too, when she saw that there was no exit, she could not even she the hole they had fallen into. Hakuryuu took the lead and told her that they had to move forward in case they wanted to get out of here. It was not hard to understand, since there was no exit nearby they had to search for one and right now the only way they could take went straight ahead.   
The cave was dark, cold and wet. All things she greatly disliked, especially the combination of all three was more than unpleasant. Seemingly Hakuryuu felt her uneasiness and offered her his hand, so they wouldn’t lose each other, he had said. Without any complains or remarks she took it and followed him closely. Getting lost was the last thing she wanted, especially getting lost on her own. For a second she also worried about Judar, since they didn’t know where he was. Was he also in the cave or still outside? Was he fine? He probably worried about them. Well, no certainly not – Hakuryuu would be the only one Judar may worry about, if he was worried.  
With every step they made she panicked more and more inside. What if they never got out of here again? She didn’t want to die! She hadn’t left her home just to die in such a way!  
Hakuryuu’s hand was comfortably warm and she only let go of him, when they had to pass through narrow passages and it was better to hold on to the walls instead of him. He was always close to her and spoke words of comfort every now and then. Moreover, he asked her from time to time whether she was fine, whenever he did this he looked back at her and smiled. Her opinion of him got better over their little journey in the cave. He was just as kind as he had appeared in the image Judar had shown her – she couldn’t believe that Hakuryuu really had done all the things Judar had told her about him. But why should Judar lie to her? Somehow this didn’t make any sense. Did this guy have some kind of split personality or did she miss something important? Was he just playing nice? But he wouldn’t gain anything from being nice to her. Maybe he was nice, so she trusted him and then he would use her to get out of this cave? She had heard of such things before. So, while she panicked over not getting out of here, she was also busy with trying to figure out whether she could trust Hakuryuu or not. A part of her wanted to trust him, but another part of her told her to stay away from him. It was quite annoying, confusing and exhausting.  
Hakuryuu on the other had was busy with searching for a way out. If he were alone he would use Zagan to simply force his way out, but with her behind him he didn’t dare to do so. He didn’t want to scar her or hurt her – if they forced their way out, she might get hurt and he didn’t want that at all. Unfortunately, it seemed like there was no end to this cave and no exit. It was plain obvious that she didn’t feel well and was scared. He tried his best to comfort her, but he knew he wasn’t good at such things. No one had ever taught him how to comfort someone. All he could do was asking her whether she was fine and assure her that they would find a way out. He hoped they would do so. And hopefully Judar was alright as well. Since Hakuryuu had all their baggage, Judar would not even have a tent to sleep in. However, he didn’t thought much about the Magi. His priority was to get her and himself out of this cave. Luckily they weren’t any crossings, so he couldn’t chose the wrong path for them. The path they used was linear, only a few times they had to press themselves against the wall and watch out not to fall in another hole. Somehow this cave was strange, so he even assumed that maybe they were in a dungeon. But shouldn’t Judar knew whether there was a dungeon nearby or not? And wouldn’t there be more monsters? Belial’s dungeon hadn’t had any monsters, but he had given them another task. In this one, in case it was a dungeon, neither were there monsters nor did the djinn gave them a task. Maybe the task was to get out of here? Well, whatever it was, it was unimportant. Also he kept his assumption to himself. There was no reason to scar her with it.

*

Both of them somehow had managed to get out more or less unharmed. It was definitely an experience she didn’t want to repeat, Hakuryuu agreed on that part and he also had no intention of letting her go through something like this again. While searching for the right path they had to deal with a caving ground, which caused them to even fall down deeper. This was the moment in which Hakuryuu was sure that the cave was actually a dungeon. Still he kept this from her. She had been scared enough. If one wanted to search for a positive side of this journey, one could mention the strengthen bond between her and Hakuryuu. Whenever she got scared or felt unwell, she would hold Hakuryuu’s hand and even at night she would now sleep next to him in the tent. Although it had been awkward at first, both of them got used to it quite fast. Hakuryuu didn’t want to send her away and she didn’t want to be on her own at night. Hakuryuu made her feel save. After they had fallen down in the cave, Hakuryuu had searched for a place where they could rest. She had been hurt, tired and scared. She had needed a rest! When he had found a place they had sat down and soon after she had been fallen asleep on his shoulder.  
Now she would fall asleep right next to him, while holding his hand. It would be lie, if he said, he wouldn’t like it. Actually he enjoyed it very much and it reminded him of his childhood, when his brothers were still alive. Whenever he had been scared or sick his bothers would stay at his bed and hold his hand until he had fallen asleep. Sometimes Hakuyuu would tell him a story in a soft voice – Hakuyuu was a good story teller as long as he hadn’t had to make the story up himself, this was Hakuren’s specialty. Sadly Hakuryuu came more after his oldest brother and wasn’t good at making stories up, however she was pretty good at such things – she was just too shy to share her stories with them. She didn’t want them to laugh at her or think she was strange.

*

When they reached the Kou Empire she was disappointed. She had imaged a more glamorous empire. Hakuryuu has told her that the Kou Empire was in a bad state because of various reasons and was now slowly returning to its former glory thanks to his cousin, who had taken over the throne after he was forced to leave his country. And still she had expected something else. The palace, on the other hand, didn’t let her down. It was quite an impressive place!  
The three of them were greeted by a beautiful young woman, who turned out to be the current empress and Hakuryuu’s cousin. She was amazed by the other woman, who was probably around hers and Hakuryuu’s age. She wouldn’t be able to lead a country in a time of crisis. Well, she couldn’t lead a country anyway – she was too fearful. The citizen of this country should be very happy to have such a strong, beautiful and smart person as empress.  
However, during the greetings she felt left out, felt like she was not welcomed. It was only logical that the empress, whose name was Kougyoku, focused on her younger cousin and on her friend Judar first. She was a stranger. Despite that she was still welcomed and got a bedroom with a luxurious bathroom next to it. Before she joined Hakuryuu and his family for dinner she wanted to take a bath. Also her clothes needed to be cleaned. Without Hakuryuu and Judar she felt a bit lonely, but those two had better thing to do at the moment than to bother with her. They also had come home after a long journey and surely wanted to be for themselves a bit. The difference was just that for them it was home, for her it wasn’t. At least not now, in the future the palace of the Kou Empire would be her home – hers, Hakuryuu’s and their children’s home. But for now she felt like a fish out of water. Not a pleasant feeling. After the bath she took a look at her stuff, which had become more over time. In some of the cities they had visit they had bought a few things – and in some they also could take part in festivals. Wonderful memories! Hakuryuu had bought her a hairpin and some other jewellery. She liked the hairpin the most, because it was Hakuryuu’s first present to her. He had given it to her during a festival – it was the first one she had ever attended. Judar had stayed at the inn, for no particular reason. Maybe he just didn’t like festivals? Who knew? She hadn’t cared much back then, since she was so excited. Hakuryuu was calmer about it and helped her to pick out some nice clothes. Whenever she was with him, she felt so happy and save. She loved listening to his voice – it was such a nice voice. At the end of the festival Hakuryuu and she had sat on a grassland while looking at the stars at the night sky. Back then she had made a comparison between the man Judar had shown her, the man Judar had told her about and the man right next to her for the first time. Her first impression of Hakuryuu had been a good one, when she had seen the images Judar had shown her, she had thought that this guy was a nice and kind person. However Judar’s stories about his king had changed her mind, but during their journey she never could see the monster she had imaged because of Judar’s stories. Right next to her was a young man, who cared a lot about those who were dear to him, who loved other strongly and believed in them, a young man who had endured a lot and was wronged so many times and still was so kind and strong. He was really amazing.

*

Hakuryuu was both her first and last love, and Judar was responsible for it. Because of Judar she had first heard of Hakuryuu, because Judar led his king to her house, she was saved and met Hakuryuu in person. Due to being saved and finally having the chance to leave her village, she followed those two and got to know both of them better. And because of their journey she slowly but steadily felt in love with the man named Ren Hakuryuu, who took so much care of her, taught her so many things and who listen to her story without judging her.  
Judar was responsible and she couldn’t thank him enough for what he had done. Never had she imaged to find so much happiness in her life and never had she imaged to meet a wonderful person like Hakuryuu. Thanks to Hakuryuu and Judar she finally had a family and friends and an optimistic view of her future.


	8. Fairy tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8\. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Alibaba, Judar with hinted/slight JuHaku): Many fairy tales were about a princess being locked away by a dragon, but no one had told Alibaba that the princess was the most handsome and most beautiful boy he would ever meet in his life.

Since he was a child, he had heard and loved the fairy tales of the prince that set out to save a beautiful princess from a gruesome dragon. After defeating the magical beast the prince would marry the princess, who fell head over heels in love with her savior, and both would live happy ever after.   
First he had dreamed to become a prince somehow, because only a prince could save the princess from her captor – a dream that should never come true, he had thought. Later he decided that he could do it without such a title! He wanted to be a hero! A hero did not need to be a prince. He could be as noble as all those “nobles”! As soon as the princess had fallen in love with him and then married him, he would not only be a prince, but a king!   
However, there was a little thing that made all his dreams into exactly that: dreams! Fairy tales were stories not reality! There were no princess kidnapped by a dragon for him to save. This world had princesses and princes, they had people to save and maybe he would really save someone one day, but there were no dragons. Those creatures only existed in stories. Somehow it was sad, he would have liked to meet one. On the other hand, it might be better that way. No human would be able to handle a beast with such immense physical strength, magical ability and wisdom. 

Still, Alibaba grew up with the dream of fighting a dragon and thereby saving a princess. A beautiful and kind princess of a powerful kingdom! Then no one would make fun of him anymore, because he never had a woman. It was hard to grow up with Kassim, who was so popular with women. Maybe he had problems with being popular, because he had those “childish” dreams? But what was wrong with dreams? With “childish” dreams? On the other side, he only had mentioned his dreams to his closest friends, who still mocked him from time to time due to them. It was mean of them, but Alibaba knew they did not meant it bad with him. Friends sometimes teased each other, he did the same with them.   
They all had grown up in the slums of Balbadd, an island kingdom once ruled by King Rashid, Alibaba’s father, and now in the hands of Ahbmad Saluja, Rashid Saluja’s first born son and therefore Alibaba’s older half-brother. However he learned about it only after his mother had died and only told Kassim about it – after Rashid’s death Alibaba had been thrown out of the palace again – and losing his title and position as prince. He had never seen himself as prince, despite that it gave him hope that he might really fight a dragon and save a cute girl, thereby becoming a hero! His hopes were crushed when he left the palace, but it did not hurt much, because he never really had felt at home and in the right place there.

When he returned into the slums, he was welcomed back with a warm smile. Kassim and the so called Frog Troup were his family, yet he decided to leave them once again, when he heard a rumor about a princess on an isolated island, which was kidnapped by a mysteries creature – a dragon – and held captive there for many years.   
At the beginning it was just rumor on the market and Alibaba had not paid much attention to it. He loved listening to the people talking about it and made his own stories around it – of course, he did not said them out loud – but he kept his hope for them to be true down. And of course the rumors got more and more bizarre, but entertaining. Things only got interesting, when he was delivering something to a sailor. Alibaba had found work by a small business man and due to that had to make a lot of deliveries all over Balbadd. This time he had to go to the harbor, there he overheard two soldiers of a different country – if he wasn’t mistaken they were from the Kou Empire, which gained more and more political power in Balbadd lately –, who talked about a person of their country still being missing. That piece of information was not that important, since they could also just talk about any relative or noble, what was important was the mentioning of the emperor and the empress and how sad the empress was over her lost child. So there was indeed a princess in trouble! And not any princess! It was the one of the Kou Empire! He had heard that the princesses of the Kou Empire were all beautiful ladies. Excitement rose inside him! The soldiers more or less also confirmed that the princess was hold captive on an isolated island somewhere near the sea territory of Balbadd, maybe it even was still in the sea territory and maybe that was the reason, why the Kou Empire was invading the government. Entering another’s country’s territory was always a delicate thing. As far as Alibaba knew, the Kou government had already taken over the rights over the sea territory and therefore could send their boats everywhere they want inside it. If the island was near the boarders or even inside it, then they could do what they want. However, if it wasn’t they needed to negotiate with whoever was in charge of that territory or take that country over, just like they did or still were doing with Balbadd.   
It was an amusing thought to find the princess before them and make her his bride! He could not only fulfill his dreams, but also save his country. Yes, this was perfect! He, a former prince, would save a beautiful princess of a powerful country, who would fall in love with him and marries him, while he also would save his people from the invasion of the Kou Empire and thereby became a hero and then he would live happy ever after with his wife and their children! 

When he returned that afternoon he told Kassim about his decision to go and find the princess. Yet, his friend brought him back down to earth, when he asked how Alibaba intended to do that. An island could not be reached by foot, so he would need a boat, for which he needed money. Money they did not have! Moreover, he would need provisions and equipment for an unknown amount of time and for an unknown territory. And in the end there was no guarantee that there even was a princess waiting for help. In case there was one, she could have been kidnapped by another country and interfering with politics was no good idea! No, one should stay out of this mess!   
However, logic never had been one of Alibaba’s strengths. When he put his mind into something, he would follow that idea until the end – as long as he was brave enough to make the first step on the way he had decided to go. This was his main problem: Not being brave enough to actually do something!  
Kassim was different. He was so mature and a true friend. It was him that helped Alibaba to get a boat and the stuff he needed for his little adventure. Even when Alibaba would return empty handed, a journey may be what the boy needed to grow into a man!

*

During his time in the palace as third prince of Balbadd, Alibaba studied the sea territory of the kingdom. There were many islands that belong to the kingdom. Those islands were inhabited, so it was not necessary to look for the princess there. However, there were two islands that were a possibility. One was inside of the boarders of Balbadd, while the other one belong to the Kingdom of Sindria, an ally of Balbadd until now at least – due to the change in politics the relationship with Sindria got worse and it continued to get worse the more Kou took over. Still, Alibaba thought that it would not be a big problem to examine the island inside Sindria’s waters. He was just taking a look around and would be gone before anyone would even know that he had been there. Also Sinbad, the king of Sindria, was a nice man and his role model! Sinbad would understand him, when he told him that he only wanted to undergo an adventure, since the king himself was an adventurer. Alibaba had read the adventures of Sinbad and his comrades that now were known as the eight generals.

Alibaba reached the first island without much trouble, at least that was what he told himself. His boat was damaged, he had lost a bit of his provisions and equipment. Moreover, he himself had been injured. A storm had gotten him on the third day of his journey. When he reached the island he had to repair his boat, take care of his own wounds and stock up his provisions. Luckily, the island was filled with fruits, animals – which he could hunt down – and wood. A little jungle, dangerous, but full with everything needed to survive. Of course, he investigated the island and came to the conclusion that no princess was held captive here, so she was on the second choice. Not really surprising at all! Wasn’t it always like this? It was always the last place someone searched for, where one would find what one had searched for. He had stayed quite a while in the jungle, because he thought it might be better to wait until his wounds were healed. Fighting against a dragon, while still injured was stupid! Of course, he could get hurt on his way to the next island, yet receiving injuries while still being injured was idiotic and should be avoided – and it should be logical, why one would not want that. With even more confident and excitement, Alibaba set sail to his next destination after his wound had healed. No matter how stormy and unruly the sea would be, no matter how long it would take him to reach the island, even when he had to swim there, he would get there and save the princess! Oh, and he would be the first to see and defeat a real dragon! Well, King Sinbad had been the first to see and defeat one in his first dungeons Baal many years ago, but Alibaba would be the first meeting a dragon outside of one of those mysterious buildings!

*

The second island was impressive. Surrounded by mountains and a giant and high mountain in the middle. The color of the rocks were white, something he had never seen before. It took him some time until he found a place to dock. Since the island was surrounded by rocks it was almost impossible and the little spot he found was easy to overlook, yet he had found it. His plan for the first day was pretty simple. His boat again was damaged, therefore he needed to repair it, because he wanted to leave this places as soon as he had saved the princess. Secondly, he would take a look around. It was important to know what kind of animals or plants could be found in this area. This was important for rationing his food. Lastly, he would rest. Tomorrow he would start to climb up the big mountain. The castle in which the dragon held the princess captive must be at top of it, this was how it always had been in the stories. This all was so exciting! He wished, he could tell Kassim about it! Well, he would do as soon as he was back in Balbadd, but for now he only could talk with himself. Yes, Alibaba felt a bit lonely, which was not surprising since he had no contact with other people since he had left the harbor many weeks – maybe even months – ago. An adventure was more fun with comrades at one’s side. But Kassim could not simply leave the Fog Troup, because he was their leader and given the situation their homeland was in, the people needed a symbol of hope, of resistance and that was Kassim and his group. It was naïve to think that way, since such thinking ignored the conflict that rose with it, but Alibaba was extremely naïve, especially when it came to Kassim and decision made by the latter.

Not only was Alibaba naïve in regards to his best friend, but also in his way of approaching the case at hand. Admittedly he had thought about, how to fight the dragon, what it might be able to do – besides physical attacks, it probably was able to use magic, but what kind of magic was the question – and how he should and could defend himself against such a mighty beast. However, in his head he totally saw himself capable of defeating the dragon after a long fight, at which end he would barely be injured – a heavy injured man would not look so heroic to a princess, so of course he would look like it had been a piece of cake to take down her captor! Just like in all those fairy tales! This was his fairy tale! 

Besides the white rocks, there was hardly anything around. Small lizards and insects, a few flowers and bushes with fruits he didn’t know, so he was unsure whether he could eat them or not, was all there was on the island. Not so great. Luckily, he knew how to fish and had saved as much provisions as he could. He couldn’t allow himself to be wasteful. The princess needed something to eat as well after being rescued by him and she would probably not be satisfied with nothing but berries. Maybe she was injured by the dragon, so he also should have medicine with him, when he was about to save her. This rose another question in his head: How was he supposed to get her down from this mountain? He needed to climb it up, consequently he needed to climb down afterwards. However, how should he do that with an injured person? Or someone who maybe never climbed a mountain. What if she felt down? No! He should not even think about something like that! He would find a way for her to go down safely!   
For now he would rest, so he was full of energy the next day and able to rescue the princess and slay the dragon!

*

The next day came sooner than expected, at least it felt like it was there sooner. It was hard to describe, normally it always felt like an eternity, when one was waiting for something – in this case it was waiting for the next day to start his heroic rescue mission –, but this time it felt as if just a few minutes had passed.  
Highly motivated he began to climb up the mountain and it went pretty well. The weather was nice, and the way he had chosen was easy. Still, after hours of climbing up, it appeared like he had barely made any progress. He could not even see the top of the mountain yet. Well, no one ever said that it would be easy to be a hero! And he never expected it to be! But a small sign of progress would be nice, especially since the way got harsher the higher he got. Not unusually, yet annoying. Things got worse when he realized there had been a freaking staircase the whole damn time! It was a coincidence that he happened to climb more to the right, because it seemed easier to move there and by doing so he saw that the place got wider and in the end he saw the staircase. He let out a loud and frustrated scream. Was that real? He wasted so much energy to get up to this point and there had been a god damned staircase all damn the time?   
He needed to sit down for a moment. This was too much. Well, it was good that he found it – better later than never, right? The rest of the way to the top would be a piece of cake from now on! However, it was a bit odd. A dragon would not need a staircase, because it could fly and the princess would not need it, because she was hold captive and therefore not allowed to leave the palace, probably not even the room the monster had locked her in. Maybe there was a village at the end of the staircase? Maybe they were also hold captive by the dragon in some way? So, he might also save a village from the monster? That got better and better! His motivation got another boost and so he jumped up on his feet again and started to climb up the stairs! That way bringing down the princess would be no problem at all, no matter whether she was injured or not. He would carry her down, if needed! 

In the late afternoon the weather got chillier. Alibaba thought about setting up camp somewhere. It seemed like it would still take some time until he would reach the top – if he ever reached it that is.   
However, the second he tried to do that he felt something strange. The air felt electrified and had he just heard a roar? Did this mean that the dragon was near? His heartbeat increased! Nervousness and excitement took over his body. So, it was finally time to meet a mythical creature one no else had seen before – besides king Sinbad. His hand was shaking a bit, but he would not back down now! Now was the time to fight and make the first step in becoming a legendary hero – just like his role model Sinbad, the king of the seven seas!   
Never had Alibaba expected a dragon to look like the one in front of him. Never had Alibaba expected that he would forget how to breathe, just because he looked at an unknown creature. Never had Alibaba expected to feel fear and respect, when he saw the mighty creature right in front of his own eyes. Never had Alibaba expected to actually face a real dragon! But here he was, in front of one. One that did not look like the ones in the fairy tales or in the story written by the legendary adventurer Sinbad.  
The dragon in front of him was not a bulky creature, with four strong legs and claws, a long neck, two strong, big wings and a long tail. It looked more like a snake with four skinny legs – yes there were claws, but they appeared so wispy compared to what he had imaged. The skin of the dragon was a pure white and his mismatched blue eyes stuck out, especially the left one, which had a lighter blue and the skin around it seemed terrible injured – maybe the work of fire. Alibaba was not so sure, since he only had seen the effect of fire on the human skin once and things may be different for a dragon, or whatever the beast in front of him was. The teeth were sharp and probably killed many people before. Next to his mouth the dragon had a long whisker on each side. Alibaba wondered what they were for. Not that it mattered in the big scheme of things, but that did not diminished his curiosity.  
“Leave, human!”, the dragon said without opening his mouth.  
Maybe this was some kind of magic.  
“No, I am here to defeat you and save the princess!”, Alibaba declared his intentions.  
“There is no princess here! So leave, human! I am not interested in fighting you. I am only interested in living a peaceful life here on my own”, the dragon stated.   
For a moment Alibaba hesitated. There was no princess? The dragon only wanted to be left alone? Could this really be true? No! Those were just lies! Of course the dragon would deny having kidnapped a princess and acting like he was a nice creature. It was nothing but a lie and Alibaba would not buy it!  
“Lies! If you do not want to fight, then let the princess free!”, Alibaba claimed.   
“There is no princess here and now get lost human!”, the dragon growled.  
Without any further waste of words Alibaba charged at the dragon, who easily escaped the attack. 

The fight was long and exhausting. Alibaba was sure, if this were about to go on for any longer, he would lose due to fatigue. He needed to get out of here or defeat the beast. Until now he had only been able to hurt the right leg and cause some damage on the right side of the body of the dragon, but compared to his own injuries this was nothing.   
Just when Alibaba thought about running away, he got the perfect opportunity! The dragon had lowed himself down to the ground near Alibaba and told him to finally give up. A mistake, a giant mistake. Thanks to his upbringing, Alibaba was an extremely agile person. How often had he run away from guards? Or adults that thought somehow it was alright to chase and hurt children? Too often! Some stupid dragon would not have a chance against him in this regards! He had the chance to change things now and he would take it!   
With the last bit of his power, Alibaba rammed his sword into the left eye of the dragon, who immediately backed away. Before Alibaba couldn’t go after it, because it was already up in the sky – and in great pain! The dragon would not die from that wound, but it would be gravely affected by it and hopefully easier to defeat in case they had to fight against each other again.   
As the dragon was out of sight, Alibaba sat down to catch his breath again. He needed a lot of rest!

*

Ever since he was a kid, Hakuryuu loved stories with mystical creatures, especially dragons were to his liking. Maybe this was due to his name, which meant “white dragon”. In all the stories the dragon was described as a strong and mighty creature, something he wanted to be! Strong! Strong just like his two older brothers! But he knew better than this, he was a weakling and would never be as great as his brothers, his father or a dragon.   
Every night his mother had to read one of the many fairy tales to him, always one with a dragon in it. However, most of them were about a princess being captured by a dragon, which was killed by a prince, who wanted to save the princess. At first he had not cared much about what kind of content the stories had, yet soon he got sick and tired of those fairy tales! Why was the dragon always the bad guy? Who said that the princess didn’t order the dragon to kidnap her? Who said that the princess wanted to be rescued? Who said she was treated badly by the dragon? Maybe the dragon was just lonely? Or trying to protect her? Or any other nice reason? The prince never asked, why the dragon did what he did. He just killed the poor thing without mercy or remorse. What a disgusting person! Sadly none of his family members seemed to understand, why he disliked the princes so much. For Hakuryuu the dragon was not a mean creature, just a misunderstood one. The dragon was kidnapping the princess to save her and both became friends! To hell with the whole “the princess falls in love with the prince” crap! This was just the distorted fantasies of the prince that used it to excuse his hideous crime of murder!   
Finding a story with a nice dragon in it was nearly impossible. It had been one of the servants that once brought him a self-made book about the friendship between a dragon and the princess, who was kidnapped by it, after she begged while tears streaming down her face. At the end of the story, the prince was defeated by the two. Hakuryuu loved the book and he still had it! Never would he let go of it. It was the first book Hakuryuu had read on his own and the one he used to learn how to read with. His family had made fun of him for his love for this book – he decided that they were just jealous because no one had made a book just for them! The only one, who showed interest in it besides him had been Judar, a boy around his age. Who had thought that such a rude child, who was so full of himself, would love books and could be so nice? Actually Judar had always been nice to him.

Judar was the only one, who never left his side and believed in him!

*

When Hakuryuu returned from his foray around the island, horribly injured, Judar lost it! Who the freaking hell had dared to hurt Hakuryuu like this? Hakuryuu was such a kind person! How could one even think about hurting him? And who the hell even entered this island? Was Al-Thamen, was Kou already on their track? Never mind, someone had dared to horrible injure his best friend and hence that guy had to die!   
First things first, Judar treated Hakuryuu’s wounds. One of the few things, which was useful, he learned from this creepy organization that abused Ryuu and him until now. Healing magic was not his best, but it was good enough to take care of even server wounds like the one on Hakuryuu’s left eye. However, he would prefer it, if a more capable magician or better a physician would take care of the injury.   
After he took care of Hakuryuu, Judar left the palace at the top of the mountain. With his magic and rage he called forth a storm, because whoever was that filthy trash that injured Hakuryuu, was probably injured as well and hiding somewhere. But there was no way that the person could hide from the cold and rain. If they did not die by Judar’s hand, they would at least die due to the weather! And death was all that piece of shit deserved! Judar was a man, who did not know mercy! 

Judar followed the staircases down until he reached the place were something red was spread on the ground. Hakuryuu’s blood! His rage increased! The culprit must still be around here, so all he had to do was some searching. And so he did. It did not took long until he actually found someone. A blond guy with a strange hairstyle, but that was irrelevant. That asshole had hurt Ryuu and therefore he had to pay with his worthless life! But before that guy would bite the dust, he would suffer greatly! A sadistic smile appeared on Judar’s face. Yeah, that guy was doomed!   
“Found you, trash!”  
Startled by the sudden voice behind him, Alibaba turned around and felt over, when he saw Judar. He hadn’t expected to meet another person here. Furthermore, Judar appearance was not something usual. Long black hair, blood red eyes, pale skin and a terrifying smile.   
“Who are you?”  
“None of your business. You’re the ass, who injured Ryuu and you will now pay for it!”   
With this Judar casted an ice spell, which caused several ice spears to appeared and threw them in Alibaba’s direction. It was mere luck that none of them hit the blond boy. Shortly before Judar had shown up, Alibaba had taken care of his wounds, but this didn’t mean that he was magically well again. He was still tired and his movements were slow. Every move hurt severely. All he could do was running away from the attacks, but not for long. Even hiding behind rocks was no solution and it seemed like the guy was neither running out of energy nor had any intention to say what the hell was wrong with him. Was that Judar person a friend of the dragon? Probably, he had said something about hurting Ryuu. Was Ryuu the name of the dragon? It would make sense, because the beast was the only one Alibaba had hurt, while being here and that Judar guy showed up after the injured dragon left to the top. Was the dragon maybe an underling of that guy? In some of the fairy tales there was a bad guy, most of the time a magician or ruler of the opposing country, who ordered a dragon to steal the princess away to marry her himself and gain power by doing so or fulfilling his pervert, disgusting desires. This could be the case here as well. Well, Judar did not seem to be a ruler, but he was definitely a magician, a strong one by that. No matter how many times he was able to dodge one of the ice spears from Judar, the next attack was already on its way. In the end, Alibaba was thrown against one of the many rocks and did not get up again. He could hear Judar’s laugh.   
“Serves you right, scum! You should have thought about, what you were doing, before touching and even injuring my Ryuu! Now die!”  
All he had wanted to do was to save the princess. Well, he was not a hero like Sinbad. He was just a slum kid. It was sad that he could not even say “goodbye” or “thank you” to his friends, but this was how the adventurer business was. 

*

The last time Judar had seen Hakuryuu all in bandages had been after the fire incident in which the former emperor and his two oldest sons died. Well, the emperor had been murdered before, but still people associated this event with the murder of the emperor too.   
Back then Hakuryuu had survived after fighting death for about two month. Those two months had been the worst and longest two months in Judar’s life. All those uncomfortable and horrible feelings and memories came back by looking at the sleeping figure of Hakuryuu.

Judar had messed up a new spell and Hakuryuu, who had happened to be around at that point, was the one, who got caught in it. Thanks to the spell Hakuryuu was able to turn into a dragon. At first both had not seen much of an opportunity in it and Hakuryuu had even been more scared by it, while Judar thought it was amazing. But since Hakuryuu could not change forms by will and after he had returned into a human again, both did not pay much attention to this accident and were happy that apparently no one else knew about it. Years later Hakuryuu brought it up again.   
He had always loved those stories with dragons in them and his favorite was one with a friendship between a dragon and a princess. Hakuryuu was a prince, so no one would came and save or protect him from his abusive family. But maybe a dragon would hear his desperate cry for help. Hakuryuu wanted to be his own dragon! There was no one else, who would take that role. Of course, Judar had laughed at this idea at first, but soon did go with it. His magic had improved since the little transformation accident and so Hakuryuu was then able to switch between his dragon and human self as much as he wanted. With this new ability they left the Kou Empire and hid on this isolated island in the sea territory of Sindria – an opposing country of the Kou Empire. Until now the current emperor did not have the guts to make a move against Sindria and its alliance. 

Seeing Hakuryuu like this, hurt so much that Judar just wanted to destroy something. Just beating up that asshole was not enough. Why had that guy even attacked Hakuryuu in the first place? Thinking about it, would not bring him an answer and it was too much for him anyway.   
While he had been out, the medicine Hakuryuu had taken seemed to have already taken affect. During their time here Hakuryuu had taught himself about medicine and healing plants. He had done so in the palace of Kou as well, yet he had been freer here, where no one was having an eye on him. Well, he would probably not wake up until the next day. To make sure that he would not miss anything – what if Hakuryuu woke up and needed something – Judar decided to stay at his friend’s side for the night. There was enough space for him right next to Hakuryuu, who would probably not have problem with Judar sleeping next to him. They had done so multiple times before and lately they had even done things like randomly holding hands and just yesterday Judar had gotten a “thank you” kiss from Ryuu, so sharing a bed should not be a problem. They were best friends after all, right? Judar hoped for more, but considering how Ryuu was, he should not hope for more too much. He should be happy with what he had and with what he got.   
Tenderly Judar stroke a few strands of hair out of Hakuryuu’s pale face – Hakuryuu had lost a lot of blood –, while holding the hand of the latter. There was nothing else he could do at the moment anyway. Tomorrow he would use more of his healing magic to speed up the healing process, but they had to be patient, because too much healing magic could also be harmful. Moreover, Judar was tired after using so much magic for causing the storm, fighting this blond guy and healing Hakuryuu. He deserved some rest, right?

When he woke up a few days later – he had spent the nights in his own room – and entered Hakuryuu’s room to check on him, he felt like he had stumbled to a nightmare. How long had he been asleep? Or had the days passed without him noticing? Had he been too busy with worrying about Hakuryuu’s wellbeing that he did not realize how many day had gone by? All he knew was that this disgusting thing, falsely called a human, was standing in Hakuryuu’s bedroom, while Judar had been out to get more medicine and some food, and was touching Ryuu’s pale face with that filthy hands. What was that guy doing here – why was he still alive – and more importantly, what was this guy doing with Hakuryuu? What was this guy thinking? Hurting Hakuryuu and now acting all tenderly and like he knew him and cared for him!   
“Take your filthy hands away from him, scum!”, Judar shouted.   
If it wasn’t for Hakuryuu, Judar had already used his magic to take care of that insolent brat.   
Alibaba turned around.   
“You! What have you done to the princess?”  
Princess? What princess? What the hell was wrong with that guy?  
“What the hell are you talking about? First you hurt Ryuu and now you shout nonsense about a princess? What is wrong with you! Get lost!”  
From all the shouting, Hakuryuu woke up. His head felt heavy and he was a bit dizzy, but it was not hard to understand what was going on around him with Judar and the blond guy being here. Somehow the guy from a while ago had made his way up to the top and into the palace.   
“Stop shouting you two. My head hurts!”  
Maybe he could tell this guy to leave, while being in his human form. Maybe the guy would listen now. Hakuryuu did not want to kill anyone. He just wanted to live in peace after all those years oppressed by his own family – people he thought loved him, but actually never cared about him from the very beginning. 

All eyes were on Hakuryuu now.   
“Who are you?”, he asked the stranger.   
“I am Alibaba Saluja”, Alibaba introduced himself. “And you are?”  
“I am Ren Hakuryuu and the guy over there is Judar. We live here for quite some time now and we would like it, if it stays that way without anyone disturbing our peaceful life here. Therefore, I would like to ask you, Alibaba Saluja, to leave this island and keep our presence here to yourself.”  
Hakuryuu sat himself up, but he could not suppress a painful inhaling. He needed some painkillers.  
“Well, I am here to save you from the dragon and his owner, princess. You do not need to stay here, I am capable of saving you, so do not fear for my safety. “  
Alibaba was sure that the princess was trying to save him by acting as if her captor and she were friends. Maybe this Judar guy was threating her with hurting her or people she loved, if she left.   
“Princess? Um, I am a guy. I am not a princess. And there is no princess here. If you do not believe me, you can take a look around, but besides Judar and me … well and you, you won’t find anyone here”, Hakuryuu suggested.   
Alibaba looked shocked. Which was not surprising, considering that he probably had a long way behind him to get here with the hope of saving a princess, but all he got was two guys and an almost death.   
“No, no, no … The rumors … Even the Kou soldiers were talking about a kidnapped princess of their country …”, Alibaba stopped himself. The soldiers were talking about a child of the empress, but never specified the gender of said child. How stupid of him! He had jumped to conclusions without enough information. This was so typical for him.  
“But why are you here? Why should a dragon kidnap a prince? And what role does this Judar guy play here? And the dragon? And … and …”, Alibaba was confused and somewhat overwhelmed.  
“Listen: There is no princess! I was not kidnapped! I am the dragon! The dragon that lost an eye, because you rammed your sword into his eye, despite being asked to leave and let me live in peace. The Kou Empire is after us, because we do not agree with all the bullshit they’re pulling. Judar and I am been through enough, so please accept that the rumors were just that: rumors. I am sorry that you wasted so much time here and that Judar had hurt you like this. If you want, you can stay here until you are fine again. However, it would be nice, if you keep everything to yourself.”  
Hakuryuu did his best to stay polite, which was extremely hard considering the fact that Alibaba just had tried to kill him, even when he only wanted to do so, because he thought Hakuryuu was a bad dragon – oh, how he hated such idiots! The dragon was not the villain, it was the prince! Alibaba was just proof of this theory!   
Despite the awkward atmosphere between the three of them, Alibaba indeed stayed at the palace and took a look around. He simply could not believe that he had been so wrong – also he really needed some rest and prepare for his departure. 

*

Many fairy tales were about a princess being locked away by a dragon, but no one had told Alibaba that the princess was the most handsome and most beautiful boy he would ever meet in his life. No one had told him that the “princess” was her own dragon and guarding “herself” from her own family. 

Judar never had cared much about books and listening to others telling stories was annoying and boring, yet he loved the story Hakuryuu loved so much. The fairy tale of a dragon kidnapping a princess to protect her from her family. Hakuryuu always had this light in his eyes, when he read the book. And later it was the reason, why they escaped from their lives in the palace. The Kou palace was not a home for them anymore, it was a prison – a golden cage. Judar wasn’t sure which role he had, he wasn’t the dragon neither was he the princess. Hakuryuu was both, the dragon and the princess. Maybe he was just here to ensure that the dragon and the princess stayed save – that Hakuryuu was fine, happy and alive. Maybe he was the magic inside all those fairy tales. Without magic all those fairy tales would not exist, would not work!

After all his wounds were healed and finally understood what was going on – Hakuryuu being a human and a dragon, running away together with his best friend Judar from his family and hiding here – Alibaba left again. He hadn’t slayed a dragon nor rescued a princess, but he would at least bring back a huge bag full with gold. Better than nothing. During the days he had spent with Hakuryuu and Judar, he had started to like Hakuryuu very much – it was hard to get the boy out of his mind –, but he did not get along with Judar, who also seemed to dislike him a lot. Alibaba was a naïve man. A long life had been ahead of him, if he had not been led by his desire to become a hero.  
A secret was kept the best, when those, who knew about it, were dead. And so Alibaba never shall reach the harbor of Balbadd, while Hakuryuu and Judar would live a peaceful life on their island for many years. A dragon was not the villain in a fairy tale, it was the prince – unfortunately, fairy tales were made up by those alive and so only the distorted fantasies of the prince and his idiotic followers would find their way onto paper.   
At least Hakuryuu and Judar knew the truth.


	9. Beautiful soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 9\. One Shot (Judar, Ren Hakuryuu): Judar thinks about his king and their past.

As child he had been a beautiful ray of sunshine. Almost all day he had smiled and laughed. He had been a happy child with a wonderful family. Judar had been envious of him. Yes, the priests gave him all the attention he wanted and he was allowed to do whatever he wanted, but in the end he still had felt lonely. No one wanted to play with him, because they thought of him as scary, and with him traveling a lot, he also barely had time to develop a friendship. Therefore he told himself that he did not need any friends and that he was better than the other kids. However, he could not fool anyone with it. It was painfully obvious that it bothered him, yet the priests did not care about it. Why should they? A friendless Magi was better for their goal. Heartless!  
So whenever he had time, Judar tried to spend it with Hakuryuu, the youngest son of emperor Hakutoku. At first the two had a few problems with getting along, since Judar preferred rougher games, but Hakuryuu did not like to get hurt – well, no one liked to get hurt. But soon they had found many games they both enjoyed. Judar’s envious grow only bigger during that time, because Hakuryuu often stopped playing with him, when Hakuyuu and Hakuren were around. They were more important than Judar and this was something he could not bear. Well, he also had problems with it, when Hakuyuu and Hakuren played with them. He liked the two princes, especially Hakuren was fun to play with, but it showed him that he was alone and had no one. The priests were pretty boring and never played much with him, because a Magi should not behave like a normal child, there were more important things he had to take care off. Things he did not care about at all. Training was boring!   
Once Judar had asked Hakuryuu to give one of his siblings to Judar. Hakuryuu did not need three older siblings! He never could play with all of them at the same time! Friends shared with each other, right? So sharing siblings was fine. A flawed thinking, but it just showed how lonely Judar felt and actually was. Of course, Hakuryuu did not share his siblings, because he loved all of them very much. This caused the two boys to not speak with each other for a few days – Judar was angry and disappointed with his one and only friend. Hakuryuu, on the other hand, did not understand what Judar’s problem was.  
Thinking back about his behavior back then made Judar laugh. How childish he had been! At the same time it was also very amusing to think about how naïve and pure Hakuryuu had been as child. Not only had he thought that trading siblings was a thing, Hakuryuu had thought so too and had feared to lose any of them. If he had given one of them to Judar, wouldn’t that mean he wasn’t able to play with them anymore? Thinking about it rationally, it was obvious that it was not the case at all. However, back then they had thought that way, which had caused Hakuryuu to suggest to ask his mother Gyokuen, whether she had an idea how Judar could get his own siblings – Gyokuen could only laugh about the children’s naivety. Obviously she hadn’t had an idea and thus the two had searched for someone else for help. Unfortunately, they hadn’t found anyone. Hakuren and Hakuyuu also had not been much of a help, although they tried to explain the two kids that it was not possible to trade siblings and that this was not necessary anyway, because there was no rule that forbid them to play with whoever they wanted. Consequently Judar did not need to be a sibling of any of the royal members to be allowed to play or interact with them. Moreover Hakuren and Hakuyuu spent a lot of their time with Judar and Hakuryuu, whenever they were home, and further they already saw Judar as a younger brother, because he often attended the family dinner, where he acted as if he was a part of the family – no one complained about it. Sadly Judar did not accept this reasoning and so he and his only friend searched further for a way for Judar to get a sibling. Since Judar was still an only child, it was clear that they had not found a way and gave up on it one day.

Judar wondered how many people would have kept up with him and his crazy ideas. For others this was not a question at all, because he still was on his own and Hakuryuu was still his only friend – one could count Kougyoku as friend as well, since she saw him as that, but he refused to call her one, so it was safe to say they were no friends, because the feeling of friendship was not mutual. Most were annoyed by Judar and were not ready to keep up with his harmful game suggestions and pranks. Hakuryuu endured it all and Judar took it for granted. Sometimes the young prince would complain about the other being too reckless and rough, but nothing more. Only once Judar had made such a grave mistake that Hakuryuu decided not to interact with him anymore. At first Judar hadn’t realized it, because he was causally talking to Hakuryuu, who would not respond, while Hakuyuu and Hakuren were near – consequently Judar thought Hakuryuu was ignoring him because of the two older princes. Slowly he had understood that Hakuryuu was angry – of course, he would not think about himself as the reason – and tried to find out what was wrong or who had wronged his friend. Weeks had passed without any changes and in his despair Judar asked Hakuyuu and Hakuren, who he hated at this point, because he still thought they interrupted his friendship with Hakuryuu and both had refused to become his siblings, what had happened to their younger brother. Thanks to that he finally had understood that he himself had done something wrong and needed to apologize. Apologizing was something Judar only had done once in his life and this was, when Hakuryuu had started avoiding him. Fortunately the two kids could clear the matter.

Back then Hakuryuu had been so pure – a kind and beautiful soul, a ray of sunshine, so naïve and pure. Judar had liked and hated it at the same time. He was happy, when Hakuryuu was smiling, and angry, when Hakuryuu was sad. All he wanted was a happy friend. So whenever the other one was down, he tried his best to cheer Hakuryuu up and he started to hate all his duties as Magi even more, because those kept him away from the other one.  
However everything changes after the fire incident. Hakuryuu’s smile had disappeared, only when he was with his last remaining sibling Hakuei, he smiled from time to time. Judar hated it! Between now and then a lot had happened. The once so happy child had turned gloomy, more serious and had distanced himself from Judar as if the latter one was something disgusting. Nevertheless Judar wanted to maintain his friendship with Hakuryuu and acted as if nothing had changed between them – all his efforts had been in vain, had been rejected. But it did not really worked out the way he wanted and only years later he understood why. In those years Judar was more and more occupied with his duties and spent a huge amount of his time with the new crown prince. It was an order from the priests. Not that he disliked Kouen and his siblings, they were okay, but he preferred Hakuryuu and obviously Kouen was not Hakuryuu – not even their names sounded similar.  
Whenever he had the chance Judar took a look at Hakuryuu. Maybe the youngest prince had changed his behavior towards Judar and maybe he also had gotten colder on the outside, but inside he was still the same. Even now, when they both were adults, Hakuryuu hadn’t changed that much. Deep inside he was still the same, he was just very good at hiding it.

Now they were friends again. Judar had chosen Hakuryuu as his king and this would never change. Never again would Judar serve someone else. His power belonged to his king, belonged to Hakuryuu. As friend and Magi Judar knew Hakuryuu better than anyone and he had been with him in his worst hours. He had seen all of his king – the good and the bad. They were no longer children. Hakuryuu was no longer happily smiling all the time. Judar was no longer alone. Hakuryuu had been wronged in the past by his own family, his own people and had been betrayed by his friends – or better said those he had considered friends. Only Judar had stayed at his side, although he had pushed him away over and over again – well, tried to, but seemingly had failed.  
Now they knew each other’s feelings and thoughts. Judar had asked Hakuryuu, why he had rejected every effort from Judar. Because you were one of them, had been the answer. It hurt. To be honest this question had been on his mind ever since they were kids, but he had feared to ask. Somehow he had already guessed he wouldn’t like the answer.  
Now they spent most of their time together, be it out of private reasons or for work. Judar liked it pretty much. When they were alone Hakuryuu would relax. For Judar he was still a kind and beautiful soul – however he would never say it out loud – and a ray of sunshine. No matter how hard things had been and how many people had wronged him, Hakuryuu still was so kind to them. Had forgiven those, who had tried to murder him and had supported the murderer of his family. He had forgiven those corrupted bastards, who had known the truth and had kept silent. He had forgiven those, who had looked down on him. None of them deserved such kindness. If it had been Judar, he would have sentences all of them to death. But Hakuryuu wasn’t Judar. Hakuryuu forgave, he even saw himself in the wrong instead of those who had committed so many crimes and horrible deeds.

After Judar had returned from the Dark Continent and had started his search for Hakuryuu, he had been disappointed by his king. Hakuryuu had won the war, but he did not rule the world. Even worse, Sinbad had taken over the lead. Judar had hated it, he had felt betrayed. Therefore he had searched for someone else to cause chaos with and found said person in Nerva, the son of the former emperor of Reim, who had lost his position because of the new order of the world. That guy, however, was not as much fun as Hakuryuu was and soon he gave up on that guy. Out of curiosity and boredom he had decided to visit his birth place. A little village near the mountains. There he had found out what had happened after he had been born and that “Judar” was not his real name – still he kept it, because this was the name he had grown up with and the name Hakuryuu was calling him. Without knowing why, Judar had given up on his plans to create war and instead helped the villager. Months later Hakuryuu had suddenly arrived to bring him back to the Kou Empire and Judar had followed – of course, not before he had shown Hakuryuu around. As kind as Hakuryuu was, he had used his djinn Zagan to help the villager with their field work and stayed a few days. Days they had used to talk about the time they had been apart from each other. It was a time in which Hakuryuu had smiled a lot.

Judar wanted to see Hakuryuu being himself more often, but he did not want to share the “ray of sunshine” Hakuryuu with anyone else, so he was fine when his king only was himself, when they were alone. No one else deserved to see his smile, receive his kindness or enjoy the mere presence of Judar’s king. No one besides Judar – well, at least according to the Magi, who knew he had chosen the best kings. A king who was smart, kind, beautiful, strong and over all perfect – and no matter how much his king would taint and look down on himself, in the end he would always be the same beautiful soul inside.


	10. Sweet dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10\. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Hakuyuu, Hakuren): As child Hakuryuu once had a nightmare in which his family was killed. It was painful to realize that said dream had been a vision of the future.

Nightmares were nothing he never had before, but usually they were about strange creatures chasing him. Albeit they never caught him. This nightmare however was different. It was pitched black, so it was hard to even see one’s own hand right in front of one’s eye. Different voices reached his ears. They were screaming in pain. What was going on? He couldn’t see anything. It was hard to run away, when one did not know, what was going on or were to run to. Where was the attacker? The smell of smoke rose into his nose. Fire? Where? Panic! His heartbeat increased, tears began to stream down his face. Without a second thought he started running. All he could do, was to hope that it was the right direction. He had to find his brothers, his mother, someone. Hakuyuu and Hakuren were able to defeat the enemy! And his mother surely knew, what to do. She always knew! Hopefully, Hakuei was safe. Where was she?  
The darkness slowly vanished, but what was revealed was not a pleasant sight. Seeing less would have been a blessing, dead soldiers on the ground, fire everywhere, the smell of burned flesh in the air and the screams of the dying. Now he could see that he was inside the palace, but why was it on fire? Why were they attached? Where were his brothers? At least he knew where he had to go to leave the palace, theoretically. It was questionable whether the enemy would let him escape. Probably not. But there was nothing wrong with trying to escape. 

*

When he had that nightmare, he never thought that it was a dream. One could argue that it should have been obvious that he hadn’t been in the real world, but the fear had blocked his mind and therewith his ability to think rationally – and he had been a small, stupid child. For his past self the dream had been real and so was the fear and the pain. Never before had he had such a realistic dream. The few nightmares before and those which came after were clearly just that, he knew it the very second his dream self saw the monsters. Not that it made the nightmares pleasant, but they were more pleasant than the realistic one. Usually it had only been his life, which was in danger, but in this dream he had thought that also his family was endangered. While his brothers had life-and-death situations on the battlefield very often, therefore they knew how to react, his sister Hakuei and his mother Gyokuen did not – just like him. The palace had many escape routes and he remembered some of them, but in his panic he had totally forgotten about them or only remembered those that were far away from his position. Maybe the same applied to his mother and sister. What if they were too far away from a secret passage to escape? To be honest, his thoughts hadn’t been that specific. Of course he had thought about the whereabouts of his mother and sister, because he wanted to be saved by them and he had asked himself, what would be in case those two were dead.   
Back then it had been a horrible thought, now he only gave a weary smile to this kind of thought. His mother was dead by now and his sister, he did not care about her well-being that much anymore, was still alive. It wasn’t like he did not care at all anymore or wished death upon her, but back then he had feared her passing and now he would still be sad about it, but he did not fear it. An inconsistency, he cared and did not at the same time. One could compare it to losing a relative one had barely known. It was sad, yet one could live on without any problems and much sorrow. If someone had told him that one day he would feel like this about his dear older sister, he wouldn’t have believed them. His sister had been his everything for so long and now she was nothing. No, this was not his fault. She was to blame, because he had done everything he could for her – all he ever wanted, was to protect her –, while she never had cared about him. A hurtful realization, but a necessary one. Better later than never. How things would have turned out, if he had known, what was ahead of him? Well, the answer to this question was irrelevant now. The past was the past and no matter how much he wanted to change it, he couldn’t do so. All he could do was laughing about how he more or less had foreseen the future – the current present – in a highly bizarre way. Only a short while ago, he had realized what the dream from back then had meant. Honestly, he had forgotten about said dream and had remembered it only recently due to a mindless comment of his only friend. What a strange world they lived in. The nightmare had hunted him for many years and suddenly he needed someone to remember him of it. 

In his nightmare the hallways of the palace had appeared endless. Today he could not even understand, how one could think like this. Alright, nowadays he was able to remember the secret passages and he was not under attack. The past years had been like a constant nightmare to him, so he got used to fear and panic dominating his body. Not once had he used the secret passages, but he thought about doing so more than once a day. All those years he had been surrounded by enemies, had been under attack and had been alone. It was a strange, but pleasant feeling to be finally free.   
Another strange thing was the fact that he often walked down the hallways through which he had run in that dream. Never had he questioned himself, why he used those hallways without it being necessary. At the end was his late mother’s bedroom. As child he often had walked there, when he needed her comfort and could not find her in the big palace, after the nightmare he did so, whenever a sudden wave of fear that she might be in danger or worse hit him. Only a few months later he thought his feet led him down there, because of his wish for revenge.   
In retrospect this nightmare was so real and surreal at the same time and somewhat ironic. 

*

He had never felt so happy and relieved, when he saw his brothers at the end of one of the many hallways he had run through. Both were still alive, injured but alive. Hakuren was the first to see him and immediately approached him. Hakuyuu followed his younger brother shortly after with a worried expression. The two were slightly injured, while Hakuryuu magically was unharmed, however those two had to fight against enemies, while he had only run away. Questionable whether there had ever been any need to run. Seemingly no one had been after him or else that person would have already attacked the three brothers or Hakuryuu, when he had been alone. Well, maybe a pursuer would not attack right away, since Hakuyuu was still looking out for enemies, while Hakuren took care of their younger brother. So, they were not completely defenseless or unalert. Or was there no pursuer or he had a different goal for which he needed the princes alive? One never knew and honestly, Hakuryuu didn’t thought much about it and couldn’t care less anyway. He had found his brothers, which meant he was save now – he was not on his own anymore. Together they could search for their mother and sister and then leave the palace!

He had clung to his brother’s leg as soon as Hakuren had reached him. His crying could give their position away, but he didn’t thought about that. He was just too happy and relieved to see a familiar face.  
“Shhh, shhh, Hakuryuu. Everything is fine. You’re save. There is no reason to cry anymore”, Hakuren tried to calm down the frightened boy. With moderate success.   
“We need to move on.”  
A statement made so calm and almost emotionless as if Hakuyuu was not in the same life-threatening situation as his siblings. Yet it was so typical for Hakuyuu. The crown prince always stayed levelheaded, even in the worst situations. Therewith he lessened the fear and panic of his followers and he himself didn’t lose sight of what was going on – it reminded him of his responsibilities and he being calm was necessary to survive. Hakuren in the meantime struggled with getting Hakuryuu away from his leg and to stop crying. Who had thought that a small child could have so much power in its tiny arms – Hakuren had not.   
“Please, Hakuryuu, let go of me and calm down. You are save now and we will get out of here together as soon as you let go of me. There is no reason to cry or be afraid anymore”, Hakuren said, while desperately trying to make Hakuryuu loosen his grip, so he could lift the child up.   
Being a big brother had never been so exhausting until now, but they also had never been attacked inside the palace and consequently Hakuryuu had never been in such great danger. The current situation must be unspeakable horrible for the youngest royal family member.   
“Where are mother and Hakuei?”, he asked his two older brothers, who had problems with understanding a word because of his crying and sobbing.  
“I am pretty sure those two are fine and waiting for us outside. So, let’s hurry up and meet them there! They are extremely worried about us, just like we are worried about them.”  
Hakuren felt like a genius, when he said this. Indeed Hakuryuu calmed down a bit. Of course, he was worried about his mother and sister, and his brothers were worried as well.  
“We have to move onwards. Hakuryuu, stay close to Hakuren and me, we will keep you save.”  
Together the three brothers fought their way through the flames and their enemies – well, Hakuren and Hakuyuu fought, while Hakuryuu followed them. He knew that he was burden, since he could do nothing to help them and compared to them he was also very slow with his short legs. The smoke got thicker every passing second, thus it got harder to see something. Consequently the three princes had to be more careful, because potential attackers couldn’t be spotted easily or timely. On the contrary, the enemy could not see them from afar as well and hence they could use the smoke to their advantage – unfortunately their enemies could do so as well. A double-edged sword.

After a period of time that felt like hours, like an eternity, Hakuryuu and Hakuren were at their end. Hakuren had been killed from behind and Hakuyuu, half of his body burned and covered in scars, wouldn’t last any longer.   
Hate, despair and wrath rose up inside of the crown prince – one could see it in his eyes. Hakuryuu was the only one, who was able to move forward and get out of this hell – if he avoided the intruders and reached a save place. Besides a burn scar on the left side of his face, he was unharmed. Hakuyuu clutched Hakuryuu at his should, therewith got the attention of his crying little brother – who wouldn’t cry, when getting burned. The small child was their last hope, the only one, who had a chance of escaping, of surviving and who could avenge them.   
“Hakuryuu, listen carefully. Hakuren and I are at our ends. You have to survive. You’re the only one, who can get out of here. It is a shame that it has to end like this, but there is nothing I can do about it. So, listen, I will tell, who is responsible for his fire and who is after our all lives.”

*

A short sentence whispered into his ears had changed Hakuryuu’s whole life. Many years filled with hate and the goal of revenge followed. One rejection after the next hit him until he finally felt. He was not to blame, because he had done all he could do. Well, maybe he was at fault to a certain extent, since he was the one, who felt love for others, cared about others and wanted to be loved and accepted by those he loved. How foolish! He had rejected their play of pretend and so they were punishing him for it. 

In all honesty, Hakuryuu sometimes hated his older brother for telling him the truth. How much easier could things have been for him, if he hadn’t known anything? On the other hand, it was the best the way things had unfold. Just imaging that he would still love the murderer of his family, would still be a weakling and would have probably simple accepted someone on the throne, who was too unsuitable for this position, made him want to vomit. Of course, he had to learn a lot more to become a great emperor, but he was on the right way and not so blind like others. The murder of his family had opened his eyes. Seeing and accepting the truth was not always easy and in the past he often had tried to deny so many things, had tried to lull himself in illusions and act as if everything was fine. Nothing was fine, he was not fine. The world had broken him, but he had learned to just accept it. There was nothing he could do against it. Hakuyuu and Hakuren were dead and he was alive. He had taken their revenge without help – well, Judar had help, but that didn’t count or so – and had taken his rightful place as emperor of Kou. Hopefully, he would now find a restful sleep at night, instead of dreaming about his brother’s death. How many nights were lost to those nightmares? How often had the awoken at night, sweating, screaming, crying, because he dream about the fire incident? Too often! Way too often!

Hakuyuu’s last words always echoed in his mind – at daytime and nighttime. Whenever he had taken a short rest he felt bad about it, because Hakuyuu and Hakuren had died so he could rest in peace. All they had asked for were revenge for their murder and all he did was nothing. When he killed Gyokuen he felt at ease. Finally he accomplished his task and his family could rest in peace themselves. Their souls could rest and he could do so as well. 

In his dream Hakuyuu was about to tell him, who was all behind it, but Hakuryuu could not remember anymore, who it was according to his “dream brother”. Probably his uncle and not his mother, because back then Hakuryuu still thought his mother was a wonderful and kind person that loved her children and would never hurt them. Funny, how much one could be wrong about another person – a person one thought to know. A bitter smile appeared on his lips. Oh, how wrong could one be! So wrong. Gyokuen was not the only one he had been wrong about. Also his “friends”, how wrong he had been about them. They were no friends at all. They were his enemies and seemingly they did not mind it at all. A sad thought. For so long he had wished to finally have friends and when he thought he found some, they betrayal him – they had never cared about him in the first place, it was all just his wishful thinking. Why hadn’t he already gotten a price for his foolishness? He was the master of fooling himself! 

*

Screaming for his mother Hakuryuu run through the burning hallways of his home. Half of his small body was covered in blood. Hakuyuu’s blood. It was supposed to keep the flames away from Hakuryuu’s body, so he would not burn to death. The smoke got thicker and thicker – it hurts in his eyes and breathing got harder. He wanted to get out of here! He wanted to be with his mother! Why was all of this happening anyway? It should stop! All of this should stop! Now!   
His small feet carried him towards his parent’s bedroom, hoping his mother was there. Best practice would have probably been to get out of the palace, but he was too afraid on his own and the way to his parent’s bedroom seemed saver, better and faster than trying to get out. Moreover, luck was on his side. No enemy attacked him on his way to his mother. Maybe a crying child was no threat or of any interest to them, which was not surprising at all. Why wasting time with killing a harmless child? Getting rid of the palace guards, soldiers and nobles was more important. On the other hand, Hakuryuu was not just any noble, he was the third prince of the Kou Empire. Well, the intruders probably did not knew this. 

When he entered his mother’s and late father’s bedroom, darkness was all he saw. Hakuryuu wanted to turn around and search for his mother, but the hallway had disappeared. Suddenly he was surrounded by darkness again. A faint laughter reached his ears, which caused him to turn around again. With a shaking voice he let out a soft “hello”. Who was there? Or had he just imaged the laughter? Maybe the wind? But what wind? There was nothing besides him and the darkness. Or was there someone else hiding in the dark? Hopefully not! The panic inside of him made it hard to breath. Tears clouded his eyes. What the hell was going on here? He wanted to leave! Wanted to get out of here! Wanted to be hold by his mother! Where was she? He was alone and afraid and hurt and his brothers were dead and he was not. This was horrible, so terrifying, painful, unfair and cruel. Why did this happen to him? Why was it happening to his family? Hakuyuu and Hakuren only wanted to bring peace to the world, so why did people want them dead? Wasn’t everyone aiming for peace? Didn’t everyone wanted to live in peace?   
Sobbing and whimpering for his mother, Hakuryuu got on his knees, wishing that everything was just a nightmare – it should have been obvious that this was a nightmare, but during the dream he hadn’t realized it.  
Another laughter made him wince. Someone was there! But who? An enemy? An ally? Obviously it wasn’t his mother! The laughter was too deep to belong to her. Hakuryuu tried another soft “hello”. He was unsure of what reaction he wanted from the unknown person, who hid in the darkness, but he hoped for the best. With his arms he wiped away the tears, so he could see better in the dark. A small spot of light was there in the middle of nowhere. The laughter was coming from there. Also there was the silhouette of a person, at least it seemed to be a person. Something was strange about the unknown person, but Hakuryuu could not point at what was wrong, which was probably due to him being not close enough to the other one. This was solved easily by getting closer to said person. Hakuryuu’s steps were unsteady, since he was still afraid of all those strange and terrifying happenings. Nothing surprising at all. However, he soon regretted his decision. 

The person was not a person at all! It was a creature all in black. Describing it was hard for Hakuryuu, because the creature had a human shape, yet it wasn’t one - long, spiky ears, black hair, which resembled feathers more than hair and black scales covering its skin. Never before had he seen such a creature.   
Further it seemed like the creature was not alone. There was someone in its arms. The unknown thing was sitting on the ground and holding someone. By taking a closer look Hakuryuu recognized who it was! Those colors, that fabric, those clothes belonged to his mother! There was absolutely no mistake! This creature had done something to his mother! Despite being a child he was not stupid. He knew what had happened. That monster had murdered his mother! Just because there was no blood did not mean that nothing had happened. It was probably too dark to see the blood. And if his mother were not dead then why was she not moving and why was that monster laughing? 

*

The very second that monster had turned around and showed his face, Hakuryuu had woken up. He had cried and jumped out of his bed to find his family. Back then he totally had freaked out and when he wasn’t able to immediately find his family, cried even more. Some servant had tried to calm him down, but all he had done was fighting them off, because to him they were intruders and only wanted to harm him. Only after his mother hold him in her arms and tenderly stroked over his back, while whispering in his ears that everyone and everything was fine, that he had just a bad dream and that also Hakuyuu, Hakuren and Hakuei were still alive as well as their father, who was just still in a meeting, he had calmed down. It was disgusting to think about, how his mother acted so kind and caring, while being fully aware that this dream was not just that, but something she already had planned or was planning at the moment. She probably had laughed about him behind his back. Well, it did not matter anymore. The witch was dead and would never ever do any harm to him or those dear to him. 

And wasn’t it ironic that the monster he had hated and feared for so many years, was himself? He himself was the murderer of his oh so beloved mother. That nightmare had not been a simple dream, but a vision of his own future. It was so painful to realize this now. If he had known this sooner, Hakuyuu and Hakuren may still be alive, while his mother had been killed sooner as well and hadn’t brought so much pain and terror over the world. The Kou Empire would be in the right hands – ruled by Hakuyuu.   
However, one could not change what had happened and there was no reason to linger in the past any longer. He had fulfilled his duty, so his brothers could finally rest in peace and he would make sure that from now on the Kou Empire was walking towards a bright future in a world without war. Hakuryuu was aware that he had to do a lot of work to accomplish that, since the people of the empire loved war too much, but he had done so many thing that were considered impossible, especially impossible for him. He wasn’t that useless weakling anymore. He was Ren Hakuryuu, the fourth emperor of the Kou Empire!


	11. Those little things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11\. One Shots (Hakuryuu [mentioned Kougyoku, Judar, OC]): Hakuryuu thinks about the little things in his life that make him happy.

Every now and then Hakuryuu asked himself all these “important” questions about life. Why were their born? What was the purpose of their lives? Why did they strive for happiness so much? What was happiness? How could one maintain it in a world like theirs? Why were they working against each other? And so on and so on. Of course, he hadn’t found an answer, not for himself and not for others. However, he had found out what made him truly happy – so he may have found an answer at least for the question, what made one happy.  
It was easy to be happy about a gift or a compliment – although Hakuryuu had the terrible habit of doubting any kind of praise or kindness directed at him –, because it was easy to remember how happy one had been when one got it. But how often did one get a gift, especially one without a specific reason besides to make one smile? How often did one get a compliment? Yes, there were also other reasons why someone could be happy, however most of the time one could only think about the “big” things or the “rare” ones that made them happy. Yet Hakuryuu had found out that he was often happy due to ordinary things.

It was a wonderful feeling to return to his private chambers and be greeted by a small and happy little sunshine. When he had visited Judar’s home village the two of them had adopted a girl, because why not – and Judar was not even aware that they had done so. The girl needed someone to take care of her and save her from her horrible family. Without thinking at all Hakuryuu had taken her with them to the palace. Now he tried to be a good parent for her. Her smile mad him happy.   
Since she had no clothes, they took the old ones of Hakuryuu’s sister Kougyoku, who had a lot of fun dressing the little girl up. But it was somewhat impersonal and he wanted her to have her “own” clothes, so he started to learn how to make dresses. It was hard work, but he gave his best and was really proud of himself when he finished the first one – not a masterpiece, but not bad either – and the little girl loved it as well, which was the most important part. Another thing that made him happy, was remembering how Judar, the girl and he thought about a new name for her. Strangely he could not remember why they wanted to change her name in the first place, but they did. She liked her new name a lot.

Besides her he also was happy when he had time to cook. Thinking of new recipes and try new dishes out was great, especially when others praised his meals. However, the process of creating the meals was already enough to make him happy. It was even better when Kougyoku joined him – Judar was not a good addition in the kitchen, because he would cause more chaos than he would be of any help. “Unfortunately” Judar loved to join him in the kitchen and try out anything Hakuryuu prepared – the Magi was too impatient to wait for the meal to be finished and Hakuryuu’s meals were too good, even when they weren’t completed.   
Consequently eating with his family also brought happiness to him. As child he often had eaten with his mother, father and siblings – at least when all of them were at home. But even when it was just his mother, sister and him it was still a nice memory – a nice memory that also hut, because now he knew that his mother had just pretended. Now he had Kougyoku, Judar and his adopted daughter to eat with him. One could learn so much about others by just listening. Judar mostly complained about all his duties and how everything was so exhausting, while Kougyoku couldn’t stop talking about all the great achievements of the empire and what she had contributed to it. Her self-esteem was growing as well and Hakuryuu was happy to see his sister becoming more and more confident in abilities and started to be happier, just like him. They were more similar than he had thought and one on hand this made him happy, while on the other hand it also made him sad, because he knew about her pain, since he had felt it too. Just a wonderful person like Kougyoku should have experienced so terrible things. She deserved only the best and he hated himself for hurting her with the civil war.   
Also it was great to talk about oneself without being judged, because they all knew about his past and pain. Judar understood him the most and Kougyoku, after they had talked things out, understood him as well, even when she did not agree with his past actions, she did not judge him without knowing more about the subject – but even then she often just stated her opinion and wouldn’t criticized for his, because this was how things were: Everyone was allowed to have their own opinions and one opinion did not say whether a person was a good one or a bad one.   
In the end their dinners were filled with laughter and remembering them made him feel warm inside.

Seeing those who were dear to him smile made him smile and feel better as well. Hearing they were fine was another reason to be happy – who wouldn’t be happy about hearing that their loved ones were fine and happy? Even better when he was the reason why they felt good – something like this made him pushed his own self-esteem and made him feel great again.  
He also liked to see the flowers in the garden. Together with Kougyoku he had created a small garden in the palace – not that there weren’t enough, but the two of them wanted to make their own garden. They had done so to get to know each other better, since it was easier for them to open up, when they were able to relax, which was the cause when they were gardening. Nowadays they sometimes would even agree on a time to meet in the garden and take care of it. Hakuryuu’s adoptive daughter also help out sometimes.  
Whenever he passed by the garden he just had to smile. All those beautiful flowers! Besides flowers the garden also had some vegetables, which Hakuryuu used for his meals – further they could save money when they used the fruits of their own garden. Gardening was a nice and fulfilling free time activity. Judar often made stupid remarks when he watched Hakuryuu taking care of the different plants. At first Hakuryuu had been annoyed by it, but now he only smiled at Judar and threaten him with “peach prohibition” or reminded him, who was the cook. It was funny to see Judar changing his behavior. Who would have thought that the so called black Magi could be so obedient? Sometimes Hakuryuu wondered whether Judar took his threats serious or was just playing along. Whatever it was, it was fun – at least he had fun.  
His favorite aspect about the garden was not that he and Kougyoku created it, but how colorful it was. Only recently he realized how much he liked colorful things. So, whenever he saw someone dressed in beautiful colors his mood got better – luckily his daughter and Kougyoku loved colorful clothing. Those two always looked so gorgeous.

After a stressful day the best way to calm down and relax was to take a hot bath. Hakuryuu used that time to relax and remember all those funny moments with his brothers. Hakuren had always tried to make bathing an adventure, because it was so boring. Hakuryuu could not agree, but maybe this was because of Hakuren’s efforts. Hakuyuu, on the other hand, had to ensure that his youngest brother got clean. Not an easy task, when one was constantly interrupted by Hakuren. Playing was more fun than bathing.  
Now a similar situation was between Judar, him and their adopted child. While Judar disliked bathing and focused more on playing around, Hakuryuu tried to get everyone clean – it had been his daughter’s idea for the three of them to bath together. Back then, when he was still a child, he had never understood why Hakuyuu was so annoyed and even scold him and Hakuren, now he could perfectly understand his oldest brother and he felt bad about his past self. He wished, he could turn back in time and be a better little brother, but this was not possible. Maybe he got his punishment for being a bad little brother herewith? Who knew? Who cared? In a very strange way he still enjoyed bathing with Judar and their daughter or else he would have given up a long time ago – seeing those two smiling, laughing and being happy made him feel great and at ease. Also those moments made him remember his own family and thereby also reminded him that he know had found a family again.

He also hadn’t given up his training sessions, although they had become fewer because of all his other duties. His teacher hadn’t changed over time and it was nice to win against him from time to time – it was some kind of prove that he had grown stronger. And being praised was great as well, especially when his trainer compared him to his older brothers. Hakuryuu knew that it was stupid to compare himself to his older brothers, but he still did it. He had done so in the past and he probably would still do so in the future. Hakuyuu and Hakuren weren’t Hakuryuu, but they were his role models, especially Hakuyuu. Regardless of the praise he may got, Hakuryuu enjoyed the sessions, because they showed him that he had gotten stronger and this was very important for his self-esteem. Even when he lost, he now knew that his opponent hadn’t won easily. Sometimes he wished he could show his new skills to his bothers and be praised by them as well. But he knew this was not possible anymore, however dreaming about his brothers praising him, especially when it was not a farfetched dream, caused him to smile and be satisfied with himself and his achievements. 

Actually, there were so many little things that made him happy. Things like, for example, good weather, a good meal, cooking, seeing his loved ones were happy and well, nice conversations, colorful flowers, spending time with his family, finishing his paperwork, a restful sleep at night, making dresses for his adopted daughter, gardening or simply relaxing. It was easy to forget all those things, because they were so ordinary, but they were so important.   
Not so long ago, he had often asked himself, what he was living for, what his purpose was. Now he knew a lot of things that were worth living for and so many things that made life enjoyable. Now he could only shake his head in disbelieve over his own ignorance. How could he not see all those little things until now? Why had he overlooked them? On the other hand, did it really matter now what was in the past? Probably not. Important was just, that he had found his own answer to the questions “what make you happy”. The “big” questions were left unanswered. What was happiness? Why was it so important to humans? Why did humans work against each other? What was their purpose on earth? Why were the born in the first place? And there were more questions. However, Hakuryuu had stopped searching for an answer, because he had found one to the most important question. So, why bothering with himself with anymore unnecessary questions? From now on he would enjoy his life to its fullest together with his family and appreciate all the little things in his life that made it worthwhile – hoping he could share his happiness with everyone else, so they also could enjoy their lives like he did with his own.


	12. Role Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12\. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Kougyoku, Judar (hinted JuHaku): Hakuryuu has to convince Judar to conquer a dungeon with him, which is easier said than done. Thankfully Kougyoku helps him out.

Hakuryuu was angry and annoyed. Since the early morning he had done nothing but chasing after that stupid prince. That guy was a genius when it came down to hiding and running away. To be honest, Hakuryuu did not understand why the youngest prince of the Kou Empire – an empire which welfare was solely built on their military strength –, who always said he would love war and chaos, wasn’t interested in obtaining a djinn. Conquering a dungeon was dangerous and difficult, but that was the reason why Hakuryuu was there. As a Magi he would lead the prince into the dungeon and help him to reach the treasure room in which the djinn resided. Furthermore, the emperor would surely send a few troops in the dungeon as well – like he had done before.   
Just as a side note, Hakuryuu himself was not happy about leading anyone into a dungeon, especially when it was someone from the Kou Empire, but he had no other choice. For the emperor he was just a mere tool, a valuable tool, but still a tool. Hakuryuu could only reach his goal of taking revenge as long as he was alive and for that he had to be an obedient tool. He had witnessed the cruel nature of the royal family first hand, when they killed his family – later everyone would act as if it was just an unfortunate incident, but it had been cold-blooded murder. This world knew no mercy and so he had to follow the order of cleaning a dungeon together with the youngest son of the current emperor. Sadly, Judar had other plans and did not care about orders. At first Hakuryuu had hoped that Judar’s attitude would help him out this time, yet he had soon realized that it was the opposite of what he had hoped. Instead of giving up on sending his son away the emperor ordered Hakuryuu to ensure that Judar got his first djinn in the next few months or else … Well, the emperor hadn’t finished his sentence back then, but it was obvious that Hakuryuu’s life was on the line. A Magi alone was useless, only when they created dungeons and helped the royals to conquer them a Magi was useful – at least according to the emperor of Kou and his followers. At the moment there were enough unconquered dungeons and a Magi was not needed to reach the djinn – there were enough metal vessel user, who had gained a djinn without a Magi –, however it was easier with one. 

Right now Hakuryuu was passing by the main garden, which had a big tree in the middle – Judar’s favorite napping place. Full of hope to have finally found the prince, Hakuryuu approached the tree only to see that no one was there. How unlucky could a person be? And where the hell did Judar hide? Hakuryuu had already looked almost everywhere! He let out a deep sigh. What a cruel world. Maybe he should use some magic to find his target? Or ask the rukh, but they were not very talkative today. There was only one place left that he hadn’t checked out yet. This place was Hakuryuu’s bedroom. For whatever reason Judar loved to sneak into Hakuryuu’s bedroom and occupy the bed – sometimes with Hakuryuu still sleeping in it and sometimes without him. It was pretty annoying and Hakuryuu never knew how to handle this kind of situations. How often had he tried to explain Judar that he should not do that? Too often. And how many times had it worked at least for a short while? Never. It was a lost case.  
Slouchy Hakuryuu returned to his own room in hope to find the prince there.

Actually, this time he finally was lucky and found Judar, who had decided that Hakuryuu’s bed was the best place to take a nap after eating lunch, which only consisted of peaches. Judar’s favorite fruit were peaches, however his love for them was a bit abnormal, because sometimes he even refused to eat anything else but peaches. This could also be to annoy his parents and the servants or it was a serious obsession. Whatever it was, it was none of Hakuryuu’s concern. However it was a helpful information when one wanted to bribe Judar. That guy was too simple minded sometimes – only when it came to conquering a dungeon that guy was extremely stubborn. Maybe because even with the help of a Magi conquering a dungeon meant hard work and work, especially hard work, was something Judar greatly disliked. He preferred to lazy around. Judar wasn’t stupid or anything, he also could put a lot of effort into things, but for that to happen it needed a lot of interest in the subject. Questionable whether this was a good or bad thing. Who knew what Judar could have done until now with interest in too many things or the wrong ones? For the world’s well-being it was probably the best that Judar preferred to be lazy. Only Hakuryuu had now to suffer due to this, but who was Hakuryuu anyway? A nobody. No one cared about him. So, so what that the laziness of the prince caused Hakuryuu a lot of trouble? It was only his problem. A heavy sigh from Hakuryuu again. Maybe he had luck this time and was able to convince Judar to clean the dungeon that had specifically been summoned for the prince.  
First of all, however, he had to wake Judar up, because a sleeping prince was useless when one wanted to go into a dungeon. But this was another hindrance, because – how else could it have been – it was far from easy to wake Judar up. A war could happen right next to him and he still would be sound asleep. Such a deep sleep could be a blessing or a curse, depending how one viewed it. For Hakuryuu it was just another curse. Why had everything always be so complicated? It could all be so easy, but no, for whatever stupid reason it never was. Normally one would now try to tenderly wake the other person up, but Hakuryuu was past the point of being nice and tender, especially regarding Judar. Without thinking or caring much he took one of the free pillows and hit Judar with it he also could have used something harder, but there hadn’t been anything nearby at that second, so that pillow was his weapon of choice. Not long after the first strike, Judar woke up and tried to grab the pillow, which ended unsuccessfully. However, Hakuryuu was a smart and kind person, therefore he stopped hitting the prince as soon as said person started to try to catch the pillow. Mentioning that Judar’s mood was far from pleased was probably unnecessary. An angry Judar looked at Hakuryuu and waited for an explanation, which did not follow. Hakuryuu was silently staring back at the other. He was unprepared. Whenever he had approached Judar and tried to convince him to go into the dungeon he had been rejected. Why should this change now all of a sudden? He had gone to search for Judar while thinking that he wouldn’t find the prince anyway, consequently he had not thought about how to handle the matter this time. Maybe he should just grab Judar and throw him into the dungeon? As soon as one entered a dungeon, one had to reach the treasure room and find the djinn to get out again. If one couldn’t do so, one would die. Either killed by the dungeon creatures or because of starvation. 

“What?”, Judar asked angrily after not getting an explanation, although he had kindly waited for one.  
Hakuryuu sighed before he said: “First, get out of my bed. Second, get out of my room. And third, your majesty ordered me to guide you through the dungeon, which was summoned for you. So please stop being a spoiled brat and come with me.”  
It should be obvious that Judar did not listen. Well, he did listen to Hakuryuu words, but couldn’t care less about the content. He left the bed and the room, but as much of a brat as he was he still refused to conquer the dungeon. Hakuryuu hadn’t expected that Judar would actually leave the bed and room without making a fuss, but he wasn’t surprised that Judar still refused to cooperate. If he had been a little bit nicer, maybe Judar had agreed to go into the dungeon. But it was too late now. Judar had left and Hakuryuu had to start searching again. Honestly, Hakuryuu thought of himself as a smart person, however at the moment he could only call himself a giant idiot! And idiocy had to be punished! Hopefully his legs forgave him one day, it was them who had to carry him around all day and when he had the chance to take a break he destroyed it by being pissed off. However, before re-starting his search for the youngest Kou prince, Hakuryuu decided to take a break anyway. He hadn’t eaten since the early morning and his body needed some food and water. While taking a break he also could think about a strategy to find and convince Judar to finally conquer the dungeon. Or he thought about a way to convince the emperor that Judar did not need a djinn or that there was a more suitable candidate for the djinn – for that he needed someone, who indeed was more suitable. Kou had a lot of soldiers who were ready to get a djinn and serve the empire, unfortunately djinns were very selective of their owner and always wanted the best, so it was not only important to have a physical strong person – Judar was not physically strong, but a prince –, but the potential future metal vessel user had to have good magoi resources – something Judar actually had – as well. Of course this was just what the djinns wanted and what would be the best, therefore there also were dungeon conqueror, who either lacked physical strength or magoi. In case it was mere strength that was amiss, one could try to overcome the monsters of the dungeon with an army – lacking magoi wasn’t much of a problem when fighting for one’s life as long as one wasn’t a magician, but those couldn’t get a djinn anyway. When taking an army into a dungeon there was always the possibility that the djinn chose one of the soldiers as “king” instead of the prince – or whoever had been chosen by the people. Until now and as far as Hakuryuu knew something like this had never happened before, but this didn’t mean that it couldn’t happen at all, especially with someone like Judar. What kind of djinn would chose such a lazy ass? Probably none.

Maybe the reason, why Hakuryuu didn’t put his all into finding and convincing Judar, despite his life being on the line, was that Hakuryuu himself didn’t want Judar to go into a dungeon. He didn’t want the other one to get harmed or worse get killed. It was clear that the emperor didn’t care much about Judar, since he wasn’t a child of the emperor, but only of the empress. Yes, the empress had given birth to a child of another man. Out of his bottomless kindness the emperor had accepted the child as his own, yet it was obvious that this was nothing but an act. Hakuryuu hadn’t even started to count the times an assassin had tried to kill Judar. It was nothing unusual for a prince to be attacked by assassins of other countries or rebels, so it was easy for the emperor to send his own people to do the deed. Fortunately until now all assassination attempts had failed. The dungeon was just another try to get rid of the unwanted child and in case this plan should fail as well… Well, then the emperor at least had another metal vessel user, who could lead the army of Kou to victory. The emperor had nothing to lose, while Judar could lose his life. Not a pleasant thought or situation. Hakuryuu didn’t want Judar to die or get harmed, but there was nothing he could do. If he did not fulfill the emperor’s wish, it was him who got killed and if he followed the order either Judar died or became a tool of war. None of this things sounded nice.

*

On his way to the kitchen Hakuryuu met Kougyoku. A young women, who conquered a dungeon with him not too long ago. It had just been the two of them and they had barely survived. The reason they had gotten out of the dungeon was Kougyoku’s strong will to survive and get the djinn and of course because of her great fighting skills. At first glance she looked like a weak and obedient servant, but she was not. She was extremely strong and smart. Further, she was the kindest and most loyal person inside this palace Hakuryuu had met, yet he knew she also could be merciless and cruel, if someone dared to hurt those who were dear to her. Luckily, he was one of those dear people of hers. Being on her bad side was definitely something he wanted to avoid. He still hung to his life, although it wasn’t so pleasant in the last years. All he could do was to hope for a better future. One without the emperor and the empress and he would do everything he could to make this happen. Kougyoku was on his side! Although she had been hesitant at first, because she feared for the safety of the Kou citizens, she soon changed her mind. If things went on like this for longer, soon there wouldn’t be any citizens left anymore. She had conquered a dungeon in hope to gain a power which would end all those horrible wars faster, but the wars were still going on and on. As soon as a battle was won, another one was already waiting ahead. As soon as they conquered another country, they were already on the move to the next. There was no end to it. It would only end when either the emperor was dead and replaced by someone, who cared about his people, or when the whole world was ruled by the Kou Empire, which was something no one wanted to happen. Kougyoku also had seen the true face of the royal family, otherwise she probably would still blindly follow the orders of the higher-ups. 

“Good afternoon, Hakuryuu”, Kougyoku greeted him with a smile.  
“Good afternoon, Kougyoku. How are you?”  
Kougyoku had made her way from the end of the hallway, which led to the kitchen, to Hakuryuu.   
“I am fine. How are you?”, she asked with a worried expression – her smile was gone.  
As answer Hakuryuu just sighed and looked at the floor. He was definitely not fine at all and he was partly responsible for it, since he had messed up the chance to convince Judar to conquer a dungeon – questionable how high his chance was in the first place, but a chance was a chance no matter how small it was.  
“Let me guess, you failed to convince Judar, right?”  
Yes, and he had to start searching again, because he was an idiot.  
Hakuryuu nodded in response.  
“If you want, I can help you with searching”, Kougyoku suggested.  
She was such a kind-hearted person.  
“That’s nice of you, but you got back just today. So you should rest and not waste your time with helping me out. I will find Judar somehow and convince him.”  
Hakuryuu felt bad about bothering her with his problems. She had enough work to do and enough responsibilities, therefore she really should rest from time to time when she had the chance. Helping him out was probably not a bother to her, but it would mean less time to rest and Judar could be very troublesome. Although Kougyoku liked Judar for whatever reason and even considered him a friend, Judar only called her an old hag and made fun of her. In his case this was probably not because he disliked her, but because he actually liked her. The typical “I like you, but cannot admit it, so I am an asshole to you”. Childish and stupid!  
“But I want to waste my time helping you. I haven’t talked with Judar for a long time and I like helping you. You don’t have it easy with the emperor and with Judar, so let other help you every now and then.”  
“Actually, you’re the only one, who is ready to help me. Everyone else just laughs about me and maybe they even try to make things harder.”  
The nobles of the palace were despicable people. They used every chance they got to show how wealthy and powerful they were. Laughing about people who were beneath them was totally natural to them. One day, Hakuryuu was sure about that, they wouldn’t laugh anymore! However, until then he had to endure them and their despicable behavior.   
“More reason to accept my help. By the way, have you already eaten? I haven’t, so why don’t we eat together?”, Kougyoku suggested with a smile.  
Such a beautiful smile!  
“I have not eaten yet and all the searching for Judar is really exhausting. So I was on my way to the kitchen. It would be great to have some company while eating”, Hakuryuu agreed to her offer.  
“And we have a lot to talk about. It’s been a while since we had time to have a long and uninterrupted conversation”, Kougyoku added.  
She was right. Not only was Kougyoku often out of town, she also had a lot of duties to fulfill when she was in the palace and therefore barely had any time for Hakuryuu. Most of their conversations were very short and superficial. So they treasured the times when they could freely speak with each other about their lives. Everyone needed someone to share their thoughts and feelings with.

*

After eating and talking with each other for a long time, Hakuryuu and Kougyoku parted ways again. Kougyoku had decided that she would help Hakuryuu in searching for Judar. She had nothing better to do and she wanted to find and talk with Judar anyway. Hakuryuu was thankful, with a helper at his side he might find Judar sooner. Yet he felt bad for bothering Kougyoku with it. On the other hand, if it was her who found Judar and talked to him, he might listen to her and would finally agree to conquer a dungeon. After all it was probably not to Judar’s liking to hear that a “weak” women – the old hag – was capable of getting a djinn, while he had none. Wouldn’t this look like he was not strong enough to get one, while the “old hag” was able to? It was easy to tease Judar with something like this. Only the right person was needed to bring this argument into the conversation and who might be better than the “old hag” herself? Exactly, no one!  
It actually was Kougyoku, who found Judar in the end. Since she wasn’t as annoyed and tiered as Hakuryuu, she started the conversation with Judar more lighthearted. Asking him how he was and what he had done, while she was gone and without him asking she told him about her days away from home. Of course, she also told him about her plans for the following days. Now that she was finally back and had some free time at hand, she wanted to spend this time with her two best and only friends Hakuryuu and Judar. While Hakuryuu didn’t mind and was even looking forward to it, Judar played he “I am not interested and you annoy me”-card, but it was obvious from the way he looked at her and his pathetic excuses – half-heartedly rejecting her – that he also looked forward to it. After talking about trivial matters, Kougyoku slowly changed the subject to the dungeon. Judar caught the change in topic, yet he played along at first. Most people were more direct when it came to the dungeon, but Kougyoku made small steps to get him to a certain point and he wanted to know what this point was. Soon he regretted his curiosity, because how else could it have been Kougyoku brought forth the one argument Judar was weak against. Kougyoku, a “weak” women, had conquered a dungeon and Judar, “the strongest” men of the empire – only Judar referred to himself like this –, refused to do so, probably because he was too afraid. It was easy to guess what would happen, if one should brought this point into the conversation. How could Judar let this go without a response? But what should he say? Just saying that he was not afraid, wouldn’t settle the thing, he had to prove that he wasn’t afraid and to prove that he had to enter the dungeon. Although he did not want to go, he had no excuse and his own pride prevented him from letting her get away. So, what should he do? Go into the dungeon? But he did not want to at all. But he did not want to give Kougyoku a chance to look down on him or others a chance to mock him. He was the strongest and conquering a dungeon was a piece of cake for him, yet he had to prove it.   
“Say, Judar, don’t you want to help Hakuryuu? You know, you cause him a lot of trouble with your attitude”, Kougyoku said.   
Expect Hakuryuu everyone knew that Judar had a soft spot for the young Magi. No one put much thought into it, because for them it was clear that this was due to the two boys once being friends. After the death of Hakuryuu’s family he became more reserved and isolated himself from the rest of the people, even Judar. The latter one, on the other hand, still considered the younger boy as a friend and tried to maintain their relationship, however he had been push away over and over again. Hakuryuu would only talk or interact with Judar when it was about business. Judar disliked it so much that he even started to avoid meeting with Hakuryuu, although he still sought the attention and interaction with the other one. It was confusing feeling and situation alike. How to be friends with someone, who suddenly pushed you away, with someone with whom you didn’t want to interact, with someone, who you loved and hated at the same time? Judar did not understand why Hakuryuu isolated himself so much, he could only guess, but he was bad at guessing.  
“What do you mean?”, Judar asked.   
He knew that Hakuryuu was searching for him, because the emperor had ordered the two of them to get the djinn out of the new dungeon, but how was he causing trouble? There were enough other candidates and it wasn’t the first time, someone else got the djinn. Kougyoku’s djinn was also supposed to be conquered by Judar at first, but after refusing over and over again, the emperor sent Kougyoku and Hakuryuu to the dungeon. So why did the old man not send someone else and why was it a bother to Hakuryuu?   
“Because the emperor threatens Hakuryuu with death, in case he is not able to get you to conquer the dungeon. That’s why he is chasing after you for so long”, Kougyoku explained.   
She couldn’t believe that Judar didn’t know about this. Did this guy live under a rock? Wasn’t he a friend of Hakuryuu or at least cared about him? Kougyoku was confused.   
“I didn’t know! Hakuryuu hadn’t said anything about this, always just telling… begging me to go into the dungeon with him.”  
“Why did you refuse?”  
“Why? Well, first of all I do not like being ordered around and I do not like it that Hakuryuu only comes to see me, when it is about business. I wish he sometimes would just talk to me without a specific reason, I mean we are friends, right?”   
Judar sounded quite unsure about his current relationship with Hakuryuu. One could say a lot about Judar, but not that he was stupid – well, he was a little bit of an idiot, but not more than any other person was.   
“So, you refused because you wanted Hakuryuu to chase after you and interacted more with you? You should just have told him that you want him to interact more with you.”  
“Well, I did. More or less. I once told him that I do not like, how he has changed his behavior towards me and that I consider him a friend and friends do talk with each other often and without business involved. In the end nothing has changed. Ever since the fire incident, Hakuryuu seems to avoid him. I don’t know what is wrong from him or me or us”, Judar admitted.   
He was not the type of person that shared their feelings and thoughts with others, he thought he had to deal with it himself. And it was not manly to do so. But this didn’t mean that he had no feeling at all or that there weren’t any things that bothered him. His relationship with Hakuryuu was very important to him, since the Magi was his first friend in the palace and they had gotten along very well. It was hard to accept that a good friendship suddenly ended, especially when one didn’t know the reason why.   
“How childish. Well, whatever, what is the other reason for refusing Hakuryuu?”  
“The other reason?”, Judar made a short pause, as if he had to think about another reason, before he continued, “Dungeons are dangerous. Even with a Magi or a huge army at one’s side, there is no guarantee that one will get out alive. I don’t want Hakuryuu to get harmed or even worse to die. I know that he is a capable magician and as a Magi he has an advantage inside a dungeon, also I know that the emperor probably will send soldiers with us, but in the end no one knows what is awaiting as inside the dungeon and whether we will survive or not.”  
Never before had Kougyoku seen such a sad and worried look on Judar’s face. Normally he had an arrogant smirk on his lips and acted as if there was nothing that could bring him down. It was easy to forget that he was as human as everyone else here and was only hiding his true feelings. She felt bad for not realizing this part of him sooner – or better said forgetting about it over and over again.   
“You really like Hakuryuu”, Kougyoku fondly smiled at Judar, “If you don’t go into the dungeon then he will die for sure. But if you go, there is still a chance of both of you surviving. And then we can bring down your father.”  
One thing that Kougyoku definitely knew was that Judar disliked his father a lot – both of them. Until now he only had met his biological father three times and he hated that man more after every encounter. And his opinion towards his adoptive father had greatly changed over the years. Once he had loved the man, known as the emperor, but after he understood that the emperor was just playing nice with him and had even sent assassins after him, his hate for that man started to grow.   
“When you have a djinn, then you will be strong enough to fight a whole army. No matter how strong a human is, one alone will not be able to deal with an army, but with a djinn this is possible. Image how things could be with you, me and Hakuryuu bringing down that despicable man. There is no one who could stop us.”  
Kougyoku had to bite her tongue to not say that with a djinn he would also be able to protect Hakuryuu. Judar probably knew this himself.   
“Is this the reason why you decided to get a djinn? To kill the emperor?”  
“No, I wanted to bring peace to our people, but I failed. Thanks to the djinn’s power it is easy to defeat the enemies, but as soon as I defeated one the emperor sends me to the next. There is no end to it and while the war is going on our people a suffering. Although things look good for them at the first glance, when you look deeper into things, you see how all of them are suffering and hoping for an end to this stupid wars. Even the soldiers are losing their will to fight on, because they cannot see an end. There are only two options, either we kill the emperor and put someone on the throne, who really wants peace, or we kill faster, so the current emperor gets his wish of world domination. Honestly, I would prefer the first option. Both Hakuryuu and I know who cruel and cold-blooded this man can be. You should know that Hakuryuu’s family was murdered by the emperor’s order.”  
A short moment of silence passed between the two. Kougyoku had said all she could to convince Judar to join them in their plans and to get a djinn and Judar was not sure what to do. Actually he wanted a djinn, but he did not want endanger Hakuryuu. With the power of a djinn, he would be able to protect himself and Hakuryuu, but he would probably be used by his father to fight for the empire.   
“If you’re worried that you and Hakuryuu do not get out of the dungeon, I can go with you. I already have a djinn and I am sure that with my power, there is no chance of any of you dying!”

Before Judar could say anything in response Hakuryuu reached the two.   
“Judar, do you have a minute?”, he asked.   
Again, before Judar could response someone interrupted. Kougyoku decided to leave the two alone and therefore said goodbye.   
“I guess, I do. What do you want?”  
“Ask you to go into the dungeon with me. I know that you refused every time I asked, but getting a djinn is for the best. We both know that your fighting skill are lacking, so having a djinn means more power and it is saver for yourself.”  
“Hakuryuu, be honest, do you want me to go into the dungeon, so the emperor does not kill you or do you want me to get the djinn because you are worried about me?”  
A good question. Until now Hakuryuu always used the order of the emperor as explanation, why he wanted Judar to conquer the dungeon. Judar was worried about Hakuryuu’s well-being and now he wanted to know if this was also the case for Hakuryuu. Was Hakuryuu worried about him? This answer would also give him a good idea on their relationship. A friend would be worried, right?  
Hakuryuu let out a sigh: “Kougyoku told you that the emperor will order my execution in case I fail to get you to conquer the dungeon.”  
It was not a question, yet Judar nodded in reply.  
“It is true that I do not want to die and therefore chase after you so much. But it is also true that I do not want to endanger you. Kougyoku and I were able to conquer the last dungeon, so I think the two of us are able to conquer one as well. However, there is no guarantee and I don’t want you to get harmed and even less I want you to die. But what other option do we have? If you refuse, I will be killed soon. And you? Well, it is no secret that the emperor wants you dead as well. He will just send more assassins after you or force you into a dungeon. Then you either survive and will be used as tool in his war or you die. In the end the emperor will always win. I don’t want you to die or be used by that asshole. If you can get the djinn the emperor won’t send assassins after you anymore, because he will see you as a tool. But it also means that you are stronger then him by a lot. You can protect yourself against anyone! With such a power you won’t have to fear anyone anymore…”  
Before Hakuryuu could say more Judar interrupted him with a serious expression on his face: “And what about you? What do you gain from going into the dungeon? All you have to do is to get me inside, then your life should be save. The question is just for how long it will be safe. As soon as he has the chance he will threaten you again. There won’t be an end to it.”  
“I only need to survive until I get my revenge.”  
Silence.  
There were a lot of things Judar wanted to say, but no words left his mouth. All the time he had thought for Hakuryuu as smart and reserved, but for him such words did not fit this image. Hakuryuu wanted revenge for his dead family, but was not willing to just sacrifice Judar for this, just like Judar was not ready to endanger Hakuryuu for power.   
“Alright! I will go and conquer that stupid dungeon and then we kill that pig. Oh, I as soon as I am crowned as the new emperor you have no to be my friend again! Deal?”  
“What?”  
“I said, I will conquer the dungeon, then we kill the emperor and after that the two of us will be friends again.”  
Was it so hard to understand? Had he spoken to fast? Or had Hakuryuu simply not listened to him?  
“That’s not how friendship works, you know?”  
“I know, but the two of us once were friends and I still consider you one. I don’t know what made you hate me, but we can get past that, right?”  
Hakuryuu didn’t hate Judar, but he wasn’t sure anymore, if he could trust Judar, who was part of the royal family that killed his family. This was quite unfair towards Judar, but Hakuryuu could help himself. Actually he wanted to be Judar’s friend again

“And now stop being acting so cold-hearted, I’ve already saw through you! You actually like me, but are too afraid to admit it! To accept your feelings. This is really childish, considering that we were already friends! So let’s get the djinn and kill the emperor. It will take some time until we can carry out our plans – do we even have a plan? Uh, how cares, one step at a time!”  
Without paying any more attention to Hakuryuu, Judar started to move towards the gate of the palace. Hakuryuu was unsure what to do or what to think about this short conversation, but as long as Judar was willing to enter the dungeon everything else was unimportant.   
Judar was almost out of sight when Hakuryuu snapped out of his thoughts: “Wait, Judar. Let’s call Kougyoku over, so she can help us with the dungeon. And we should tell the emperor, so he can give as an army.”  
The more the merrier and easier it would be to get into the treasure room. Also it was safer that way.


	13. The fall and the rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 13\. One Shot (Hakuryuu, mentioned Judar): Hakuryuu had only fallen on his knees once. And Judar had helped him up, so Hakuryuu would never fall again.

Hakuryuu had struggled a lot in his life. Everyone struggled once in a while – some more, some less. He was one of those who struggled more. This was partly his own fault for not trusting anyone anymore, but it was only logical after what he had been through. Seeing how your own soldiers, those who should protect you and your family from harm, attack and murder your family, was something that would destroy every single bit of trust in a person. Worse when you found out, who was behind the murder, who had plotted it. When your own mother wanted you and your siblings dead, it was hard to trust anyone else, who wasn’t as close as your own family. Hakuryuu had trusted once and was heavily betrayed. How should he know, who was on his side and who was not? They all were his enemy. He could see it in their eyes, how they looked down on him, how they had turned their back on him. They had someone new to follow and did not care about what really had happened to the former emperor, they did not care about Hakuryuu, because they thought he did not fit as king – in their eyes he was too weak, yet he was nothing but a six year old child, how should he be as strong as a grown up? Nevertheless, he survived and struggled. To make sure he was not seen as threat, he had to keep a low profile. No one was allowed to know about his plans to take back the throne from the usurper. He had no allies, not even the remaining relatives could be trusted. All of them acted as if nothing had happened, as if the fire and the assassination of the former ruler were just unfortunate incidents. How could he trust any of them, when they acted like that? Maybe his life would have been easier, if he had been able to trust someone.

However, no matter how hard he struggled, he never had fallen. Somehow he always managed to stay strong, to walk tall. It was hard to do so, but he had a goal and for this he would do whatever it took. For them it would be a great pleasure to see him on his knees and he was not willing to give them that pleasure. One day they would be the ones on their knees, begging him for forgiveness, for mercy. What a beautiful thought. Until then he would held his head high, while trying to play the obedient fourth prince.  
Unfortunately, life was a bitch and Hakuryuu’s struggle only became more and more with the years. It was easy to tell yourself that soon things would get better, things were easier when you saw an end to it, yet there was no end for Hakuryuu. With every passing day things became harder and harder. At first he still had his sister at his side, but she decided to become a general and conquered a dungeon. She wanted to fight for the empire – for those who had killed her family, because she was clueless. Of course, he tried to get that idea out of her head, but it was in vain – he could not tell her about their family, couldn’t tell her, who really was behind the murder. And so, when she joined the army and led them into wars, he was alone. Alone in a place filled with enemies, with people who would not hesitate to kill him, if necessary. In the aftermath it might have been better, if he had told his sister everything from the start, instead of keeping her in the dark. However, back then he had thought it was saver for her to not know anything. Would she have been able to handle the truth? What would she have done? Joined him or ignored it and still followed the same path as their family’s murder? She was too kind and forgiving. Hakuei hadn’t been there, when their brothers had been killed. It hadn’t been her, who had heard their last words, their last wish. He had been there and had heard it. The truth was hard to accept – but the truth was the truth. Now he regretted that he hadn’t told her. Although it was just an assumption, but just thinking that things could have been easier was enough to make him feel regret. Less people would have suffered. The past was the past and could not be changed anymore, but he could remember it for the future, so he wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

Despite all the struggle he had never fallen on his knees – well, at least until he realized he was on his own and had to fall –, because until then he always had something or someone he could hold onto. Either he clung to the dream of everything coming to an end soon or by believing his sister was on his side and would support him, when the time came. But on the day he fell or better said was ready to let himself fall into the darkness, his dreams and hopes had been crushed. His sister had rejected him and he had been shown how weak he really was. Judar had offered him a helping hand. The price? His sanity. Between Judar’s offer and his decision to fall laid a few days. Days in which he had hoped for his sister to join his side, but instead she distanced herself from him. She had betrayed him. Hakuei was on the side of their family’s murder. And so he was on his own again, but this time not just for a short amount of time, this time it was forever. Maybe he should have talked to her again and tried to understand her, tried to make her understand him, but he hadn’t. In his narrow minded thinking he only divided into “allies” and “enemies”. All those who weren’t on his side were enemies – and there were a lot of them. Back then he had never thought his only ally would be the black Magi, who was raised by the priests, who was raised by the witch, who he wanted to see dead. Judar was a part of Al-Thamen, a puppet of the witch, and definitely the last person one had thought to side with Hakuryuu, although it was obvious that Judar liked Hakuryuu a lot. For many years he had tried to convince Hakuryuu to conquer a dungeon with him and was rejected ever damn time. Still he hadn’t given up. His stubbornness bore fruits. After being rejected by everyone Hakuryuu had loved and cared about, betrayed by his family and supposed friends, Judar was the only one left, who was willing to go down to hell with him and kill the witch. The person he once had considered an enemy was now his only ally. Quite ironic. Of course, allies did not mean friends and Hakuryuu knew that they only worked together to achieve a common goal, afterwards they would go different ways again and may also become enemies. Being alone was nothing uncommon for him anymore, thus he was ready to walk alone again. Until then he had to ensure not to fall in front of Judar. The Magi would turn his back on him as soon as he showed a weakness. He had to proof Judar that he was no one to toy with and that he did not need anyone. How childish.   
In the end he had started to see Judar more and more as a friend and slowly realized how much he had wronged the other one, who had never changed his behavior towards him. Hakuryuu had always been Hakuryuu to Judar, no matter what position in the empire he had hold. So the pain Hakuryuu had felt – and tried to suppress – was the pain one had to endure when losing a good friend. Somehow the word “friend” had not crossed his mind back in those days, but now he would use it without thinking much.

Falling into depravity didn’t change him much, at least this was what Hakuryuu thought. All he did was giving in to his desire to avenge his brothers and his father. Yes, he became crueler and ruthless, but this was needed so he had a chance against Arba and her follower. He hadn’t come far with being kind and mindful. It was just holding him back. In the beginning he had felt bad about it, but the more he gave in to the darkness and the more he saw how everyone was pretending everything was fine, he felt right in his decision. There was no other way to reach his goal and others had their chance to make a move against the usurper. Now it was him and Judar, who would take down the world’s worst enemy –but they knew no one would thank them for it, because they would have done it for their own personal gain and not for the so called “greater good”. How many people had been murdered for the “greater good”? There was no greater good, only maniacs hiding behind these two words. He would not hide behind words, he would do what he thought was right and for whatever reason he had. Hakuryuu did not need a greater good to justify himself. He would take the consequences without complain as always.   
After losing Judar Hakuryuu had almost fallen on his knees again, but he was able to get a hold of himself. The black Magi had offered him a hand, when he had been on the bottom and had helped him to get up on his feet again. Falling again was like a punch in the face of his helper. If he had fallen, Judar’s help would have been in vain, would have been meaningless – all they had done until that point would have been meaningless and Hakuryuu would have died. His family had made it clear that he was not welcomed in case he wanted the throne. They had made it clear they would get his head in case he wanted to enforce his birth right. For him there was only the way ahead, making a step back would mean his death. He didn’t want to die. Like everyone else he wanted to live, he wanted to live a life in freedom. Freedom was something so important, but hard to achieve. So many people out there wanted to take freedom away from others. Wasn’t this sad? Maybe he would have been sad, if he had cared about those other people, who were suppressed. He was fighting against his oppression and would never let anyone dedicate his life. Hakuryuu was done with that. From now on he would only follow his own will and not that of someone else.

It was a good feeling to raise higher and higher. It felt so great not to be on the bottom anymore, not to be stamped on. Even when Judar had died, he did not fall, even when Sinbad’s new world order messed his empire up, he did not fall, even when the conflict between Sinbad, Arba and them – Aladdin, Morgiana and Hakuryuu – got worse, he did not fall. He never fell down on his knees again, never fell into the darkness again. It was hard to stay tall and walk on without his only friend at his side, but he was strong enough to hold on. Someday they would meet again, he was sure of that. All he had to do was to wait patiently. While he waited he would get stronger, so he could be the helping hand for someone else, just like Judar had been his.  
Normally one would raise and then fall, but he had fallen first and then he rose up – doing it this way was much better. Now that he was no longer at the bottom and he had no intention of going there ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please write a review after reading. Your honest opinion is very much appreciated.


	14. Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 14\. One Shot (Kougyoku & Hakuryuu): Kougyoku wonders whether Hakuryuu is a kind person or not.

Kindness came in different ways and forms. Everyone had their own definition of kindness. Some people thought they were kind, despite being cruel, unreasonable and mean, while other saw themselves not as kind, although they were. So one could say kindness laid in the eyes of the beholder. Of course, there was a more objective definition of kindness, but who cared about that and who would start an argument with someone else because of said definition? Exactly: no one. How kind was someone, who was partly responsible for a civil war in which thousands of people had died? Was someone like that kind? How kind was someone, who rose up against his own family? Was someone like that kind? How kind was someone, who spared the lives of those, who had opposed him? Was someone like that kind? Those questions could all be answered with yes and with no at the same time. So the real question was, was someone like that a kind person in her eyes? For a long time she could neither say yes nor no. She was unsure.  
At first she had been angry with her younger cousin, who had caused a civil war, because she hadn’t known and understood, why he had done what he had done. Why was he fighting his own family? On the other hand, all he wanted was Kouen and no one else. So, it was not even like he was after his whole family, but only one person. It had cost her a lot of courage to ask Hakuryuu, why he had started the civil war. What she had learned was something unbelievable for her, but she had no reason to doubt him and his words. There was no reason for him to lie to her. If he wanted her on his side, he could have just used his djinn like he had done with the soldiers, but he hadn’t used it against her. However, just because she understood his reasoning did not mean that he was not to blame – he was at fault, just like her brother was and all those who had turned a blind eye to the situation of the empire – or that he was kind. Until the day she was sent into battle against her own family, she had seen Hakuryuu as a very kind and gentle person. He was always smiling at his older sister Hakuei and greeted Kougyoku with one as well. The few times they had talked with each other in the past, he always had been nice to her and seemed like he cared about her – maybe all of this had been her imagination. After the war was won by Hakuryuu and his “allies”, Kougyoku had started to doubt everything and everyone. Not only had she lost a big part of her family – a family that had never cared about her –, she also had lost her dear friends Alibaba and Judar and had been used against her own people by her first love Sinbad. This was a little bit too much to handle for her and she had locked herself away for some time. Although she had pledged her loyalty to Hakuryuu and wasn’t as mad with him as she was with Sinbad, because in the end Hakuryuu was her cousin and she was sure he had good reasons for his doings and it hadn’t been him, who had mind controlled her, she did not want to see him or had any intention of following his commands. Inside her the hate rose up and all she wanted was to let this hate go wild, but she had to stay collected. If she had acted upon her feelings, another tragedy may had just occurred and after all those horrible things that had happened this was not needed at all. What could she have achieved anyway? Besides her own death probably nothing.  
So in the end she was on her own, trying to understand what just had happened to her and how her little cousin could have changed so much. When she finally was ready to face reality, to face the new world, she was also ready to confront Hakuryuu. She needed to know what was going on with him and what had going on within this empire. How many tears had she shed, when listening to his story? How often had they shouted at each other, because they disagreed and felt misunderstood? How many times had something been broken? Often, very often. But it all was necessary for them to get closer, to understand the other one and to come to their own conclusions. During those times she also learned that her brothers were all alive and stayed on a small island near the Kou Empire. Hakuryuu even offered her to visit them. Sadly she couldn’t stay with them, since this would have caused problems with the International Alliance, but she did not mind as long as her brothers were alive and doing fine. Also she wanted to support her people in this chaotic times. She felt responsible because of Sinbad’s mind control. Fortunately no one was holding it against her, seemingly Hakuryuu had told them the truth – that it hadn’t been her, who had betrayed her family, but Sinbad who had controlled her. Or maybe no one had believed Sinbad or no one cared about it anyway. Many options, but what mattered in the end was that no one saw her as a traitor. 

After knowing about Arba and the truth behind the fire incident, Kougyoku felt bad. Whenever she had seen Hakuryuu, he either had been with Hakuei and seemed happy or he was busy with his studies. Never had she imaged that he had been through something so horrible and that her family was so cruel. If she had known sooner, she had tried to befriend Hakuryuu even more, had tried to be his family even more. Similar to him she also was alone, despite being surrounded by relatives. Her older brothers hadn’t paid attention to her and Hakuryuu had and was isolated by the people. So approaching him would have been easy, theoretically. Yet she had been too shy and with his stern look, she often wasn’t sure how to talk to him or how he would receive her pathetic tries to get closer to him. She had sought family so much and was so close, still she was lonely. Just like Hakuryuu.

Even knowing about it all, could she forgive him? What was there to forgive? Yes, he had started a civil war, which was also caused by her older brothers and could have easily prevented. However, he hadn’t done it, just to get the throne. He had done it to save the empire from an evil cult and to save his own life, since Kouen had made it clear that he would not get rid of Al-Thamen and had no intention of giving the throne to the rightful owner. Sill Hakuryuu had taken her family away from her. Could she forgive that? Yes, she already had, because he also was her family. Well, and her brothers were still alive. Of course, forgiving someone was not an instant thing. It took time and during this time she learned more about her own family, about Hakuryuu and to a certain extent about herself. For the first time she had someone of her family to listen to her, someone she could tell her story to. How alone she had been and felt. How happy she had been, when suddenly someone took care of her. How sad she had been, when she heard of Judar’s and Alibaba’s death. How happy she had been, when she and Alibaba had become friends and he had shown her how to make flower crowns. Kougyoku even taught Hakuryuu how to make them as well. Moreover it was nice to hear stories about Hakuyuu and Hakuren, her two older cousin, who she had only seen from afar, but never had interacted with. Now she wished, she had done so. Both sounded like very nice and kind people.   
Unfortunately, she was only allowed to spend one year with her cousin, who she had sworn to support and protect – she was the older one, so she had to take care of him, right? The conflict between Sinbad and Aladdin hat gotten worse and worse over time. Arba had taken over Hakuei’s body and worked together with Sinbad. Kougyoku wondered what those two wanted to achieve. In the end Aladdin had flee and together with Morgiana and Hakuryuu. Differently than her, Hakuryuu still had a djinn, which was much to the dislike of Sinbad. So he left to ensure the safety of Kou and to prepare to fight Arba once again. Shortly before the three disappeared Hakuryuu told her about their plans and asked her for her help. She had been the only one, who could have taken over the throne – he believed in her. At this point she was still not sure, whether Hakuryuu was a kind person or not and how much he had changed. Nevertheless it was not important whether he was or not, they got along and he believed and trusted her. She believed and trusted him as well. He had taken good care of her, but he had caused a civil war in which so many people had died – died mostly by her brother’s hand. He had worked together with Sinbad, who had taken advantage of her and made her betrayal her people. Hakuryuu had been ready to kill his family, just like his family had been ready to kill him – they had been ready for that for a long time.

During the two years they were separated a lot happened. The Kou Empire has fallen into debts with the International Alliance and had problems with keeping up with all the changes around it. More and more people left the empire, which caused its economic to break down even more. Moreover, the deadline for paying the debts came closer and closer. Despair was all she felt during this period. Hakuryuu had believed in her and she was only disappointing him. It was so unfair! Why was he so cruel to her? Why had he left? Why did he believe in her? Someone like that couldn’t be kind. Kougyoku wished she could hate Hakuryuu, but instead she hated herself and her incapacity. Even though she was the empress now, she caused more and more problems for her people instead of helping the empire to get better. She was at the end.  
When Alibaba suddenly appeared in front of her, she couldn’t describe her feelings, because there were no words for them, especially when she heard that Judar was alive as well. Together with him she built up the Empire again. Her confident in herself and in her ability as ruler rose. Things got even better when Hakuryuu finally returned. The praise she received felt great for her and she was so proud of herself. In those two years Kougyoku also came to the conclusion that Hakuryuu was still the kind little cousin she knew from her childhood. How she came to this conclusion? She wasn’t sure either, it was just a feeling. Yes, he had caused a war, but he had his reasons and never had she thought of her older brother Kouen as unkind, although he had gone to war for over a decade. So why judging Hakuryuu differently? Someone who caused war could be kind. Yes, he had wanted to kill Kouen, but only because otherwise it had been Hakuryuu who would have died. Someone who wanted his family dead could be kind. However, it was also true that Hakuryuu had speared the lives of her brothers, although they had tried to kill him, of the soldiers, who had sided with Kouen, although they had tried to kill him, and the lives of the nobles, who had supported Arba, although they had thrown his life away for their own personal gain. Someone like that was definitely kind!  
For her Hakuryuu was kind, despite all the wrong he had committed. No one was perfect and they all now and then made mistakes, some were more severely than others, but this didn’t make a person unkind by default – and even the kindest person could be unkind once in a while.


	15. All these lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 15\. One Shot (Hakuryuu): Did they know how many lives they had destroyed until now? Did they know that they were destroying lives? Or did they think they were saving everyone? That they were the good guys?

Did they know how many lives they had destroyed until now? Did they know that they were destroying lives? Or did they think they were saving everyone? That they were the good guys? Probably or else they wouldn’t be so proud of their doing, right? Or were they just clueless? No, not all of them could be unknowing. They worked together with the witch, despite knowing what she had done and what she was doing. They accepted her dirty methods to conquer others and oppressed the people of the other countries. Why were they fine with sacrificing so many innocent people? Was it because those people were not citizen of the Kou Empire and therefore weren’t worth of living a peaceful life? Why did they force children into slavery? Did they really think there was a way to make slavery acceptable? He couldn’t understand it all. His brothers had praised them so much in the past, but would his brothers still praise them now? Probably not. It was beyond him why they followed the witch without thinking on their own. They throw the lives of others away for their own personal goal and excused it with the greater good. What greater good? What was so great about the strength of Al-Thamen growing? So many had died for nothing. How could they say, they wanted peace, when all they did was creating war?  
So many questions and no answers. It was frustrating. He could not understand how people were fine with murdering others, although he himself was ready to fight his own mother. But she was a monster, had murder her husband and two of her own children. However, those who died in war, were no monsters, they were normal humans, who tried to protect themselves and their dear ones against the attackers. No, his people were not attacked and therefore hadn’t had to defend themselves. They were the attackers. They were the ones, who wanted to kill people, who had done nothing wrong. This was beyond him. Was it maybe the fear of being attacked? So instead of waiting until someone came for them, they made the first move, because they thought this would give them an advantage? When he was born a great war between his home country and the two neighborhood countries was going on. His father, the emperor back then, and his two older brothers had fought the soldiers of the opposing countries many times. Many of their own soldiers had died in that war and even more of the other two countries. Of course, he had been too young to understand what was going on. All he knew was that his brothers and his father fought to protect their home from the attackers. When the war ended the two other countries had lost and became a part of the Kou Empire. Finally peace had been brought to the three empires. However, it was just a short peace. Shortly after the war ended the emperor was assassinated. His two older sons followed him a few weeks later, when they died in a fire incident. To hide the truth the public was told the culprits were from the two defeated countries. Distrust had been sown into the citizen. It was a good excuse to let more soldiers patrol the streets, a good excuse to enslave people from defeated countries, a reasonable statement to hide the true culprit. As child he had been naïve enough to believe that people would see through this scheme, but his naivety soon disappeared, when he saw that all these lies bore fruits. His mind couldn’t understand it, so he started thinking that maybe people knew that those words were a lie, but said nothing against it, because it suited them right. Why opposing the murder of the royal family, when one could profit from it? Humans were selfish, he was selfish. Justice was a fragile concept and only important when it was about oneself. He was no different. Long ago he had stopped caring about other people, since they never cared about him. Too often had his heart been broken, because he felt sorry for those who had to endure all the unjust. But now he did not care anymore. Unjust had been done to him and he had to fix that, because no one would do so for him neither would anyone help him fixing it. He was not one of the good guys and he couldn’t care less about this fact. Yet it would be great if his family would also accept that they were not the good guys. Honestly it was quite exhausting and annoying to hear their lies and delusional preaching. It was disgusting. Because of them so many innocent people had to suffer and all they had to say was that it was for the so called greater good, which did not exist in his opinion. But since when did his opinion matter? Never had it mattered and never would it matter. A sad truth.

When he heard that they had conquered Balbadd, he felt sorry for the people there. Not because they were conquered, but because of the way it had happened. Of course, Al-Thamen had helped. To make it easier and to have an excuse to invade the country, they had stirred up the internal conflict between the royal family and the people of the slums. He didn’t want to image how many people had starved to death, how many people had been killed by the conflicts, how many people had been arrested and maybe even tortured – some of them were probably just innocent bystander, who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. With a foolish king like Ahbmad there was no reason to use such dramatic methods. Kou already had most of the economics of Balbadd in their hand and without that, the country was dependent of Kou. Yes, there was a marriage planned, but because of a contract which would make the people of Balbadd into slaves – every single one. Balbadd would became a slave breading, slave selling country – the country, which was once known for their economics would turn into this. Another sad truth. However, the wedding did not happen, but the contract had been signed. Soon after the news of the conquering of Balbadd, the news of king Sinbad’s visit arrived. And this was his chance to take another step to achieve his goal.   
To reach his goal – the destruction of Al-Thamen and regaining the Empire from the usurper – he also had to be ruthless and make sacrifices. He was aware that his plan also meant the death of innocent people, but there was no other way to stop this madness inside Kou. No, he had no greater good to justify himself, he only had his revenge – his desire to fulfill Hakuyuu’s last wish – and his wish to bring back the Empire to its former glory. One may now think he had no right to judge his family, when he was willing to do the same as them and create a war. However, he just wanted one war and therewith end all the wars and the suffering of those, who now suffered under his home country. No, he didn’t do it for the people. He did it for himself and what he thought was the best for the Empire. It was a little bit strange to feel sorry for the people and hope they would soon find peace, while at the same time preparing for a war, which would only involve the Kou Empire, that would cause death and suffering to the citizen. Yet there was no other way to get rid of the witch and the false ruler, especially not when no one seemed to care at all. 

The saddest about his empire was their love for war and how proud they were about their doing. As child he had looked up to his brothers and was proud to have such great people as older siblings, he even felt somewhat honored to be their little brother. Now he did not feel that way anymore. Of course, he still loved them and wished they would return, but he now knew what they had done and what it meant. How could a child understand the true meaning of war and death? Both things were so far away from him. War was a thing that happened somewhere else, but not in front of his door. Moreover, he only heard the stories of the soldiers and his brothers and in those the Kou people always were the good guys that had to protect themselves against the other countries. Maybe this was true back then, maybe it was not. He had no intention of judging it, because there also was no way for him to either confirm or deny. In case he asked someone like his teachers they would only tell him the same stories all over again. They believed them. So, why shouldn’t he believe as well?  
Sometimes he heard people talking about “Hakutoku’s will”, this will was often used to justify the soldiers’ doing. Hakuryuu wondered every time, whether his father’s will really was to conquer the whole world by force and kill as many innocent people as possible. He wondered, if his father would have worked together with an organization like Al-Thamen to fulfill his dream. Probably not, since Hakutoku had been killed by said evil organization. Yet, those who used his father’s will did exactly that. To a certain extent he understood, why they did not oppose the current emperor and the empress. The witch was dangerous and one wrong move could cost one’s life. Still they did not even plan on opposing her, they lived their lives like nothing had happened and even dared to use his dead father’s will to justify themselves.  
Whatever his father’s will truly was, throwing innocent people into suffering, was unacceptable. He most likely felt that way, because he also had been one of those innocent people. Back when his brothers died in the fire, he was a small and naïve six year old child. He hadn’t done any wrong – yes he did not always listen to his parents and also lied sometimes, said something mean to his family members, when he was angry, did not go to bed, when it was time to do so, and tried to sneak away from activities he did not like – and still he had been thrown into a fire, was attacked by Kou soldiers and some strange people, who hid their faces behind white clothes. He had almost died. His survival was a little wonder, but the only way for those who had died to get their revenge. Besides his brothers and their attackers, some servants and nobles had also died. What had they done wrong? Were they also enemies of Al-Thamen? Or were they just at the wrong place at the wrong time? Most likely. If he had understood his mother correctly then she had no intention of killing him as well, since it was not of any importance to her, whether he was alive or not. Like others he just had bad luck back then. And he had a lot of good luck to survive. So he was quite lucky under this circumstances.

Did they know how many lives they had destroyed until now? Did they even know that they were destroying lives? Or did they think they were saving everyone? That they think they were the good guys? Or did he fail to see how genius they were? Was he in the wrong? No, he was not! People who willingly sacrificed the lives of others without being willing to make the same sacrifices couldn’t be right. People who did not listen to those at the bottom couldn’t be right! People who worked together with an evil organization like Al-Thamen couldn’t be right! They hadn’t thought about the lives they were taking. They hadn’t thought about the present, all they “cared” about was the unknown future, in which they would rule the world and oppress everyone, who thought differently than them. They weren’t the good guys, neither was he. All of them were just selfish bastards that walked down their own path and were ready to do whatever was necessary to achieve their goals.


	16. Crossover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 16\. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Kougyoku, Ignis): Ignis visits Hakuryuu and Kougyoku and together the cook a nice meal.

It was the first time for Hakuryuu and Kougyoku to invite a friend, who also was an advisor of another kingdom, over. Both were unsure what to do or say or what friends did when they met. Of course, they had a plan or a reason why they had invited said friend in the first place, but it still felt strange. It was a completely new experience for both of them. Hakuryuu himself had cleaned the kitchen a million times and Kougyoku had refused to leave the dining hall until every corner was so clean that someone could eat from it. One may not believe how one’s eye could see even the smallest dust grain, when one was nervous. The servants were much calmer about the upcoming visit, because for them the friend of their royals were nothing but another noble guest. Therefore, they did what they always did when noble visits were expected, clean and decorate the palace and then go on with the daily life. Sounded easy and reasonable, however Hakuryuu and Kougyoku were so nervous that they got on the servant’s nerves so much that it was a surprise no one got killed.  
It was hard to stay composed when your boss stood right behind you just to tell you constantly what you had to do and ordered you to clean the same spot for the billionth time. Neither Hakuryuu nor Kougyoku were normally this obnoxious, bossy, demanding and nit-picking, because they knew that everyone knew what they had to do and how to do it. However, today was a special day for the two and so they turned everyone crazy, because why freaking out alone when you can at least drag some servants with you? The more the merrier, right?

A few months ago Hakuryuu and Kougyoku had been invited by a king of an unknown country. After a long discussion what they should do and if they should both leave the country they had decided to trust the other king and visit him. Now that good trading connections with others was necessary to ensure a good and high living standard for the population, they should not turn down an opportunity to seal a contract with another country. With an uneasy feeling they had set out. In retrospect both were glad they had made the journey. For the first time they had spent a lot of time together – in the palace they often were surrounded by servants, guards, soldiers, advisors and so on. It was totally different whether one only spent an evening together at home or had to travel for several day without a possibility to get out of each other’s way in case it was needed. Not that they had any problems with each other, but everyone needed some privacy, which was greatly restricted during a journey. On the other hand, this was a good opportunity for them to get to know each other better. At the palace they were very busy. They had talked about their feeling and their hopes, yet there were still a lot of things unsaid. Things they addressed on their journey, when they had to stick together for a very long time without a chance to dodge. Maybe this situation was what they had needed to address those things in the first place, because just sitting next to each other in silence was extremely uncomfortable and awkward, so small talk was made just to turn into a deep and emotional conversation. When they arrived at the unknown kingdom Hakuryuu and Kougyoku felt like different people and as if their relationships with another had gotten stronger, which was quite useful when dealing with the other king. They felt more at ease. 

Unexpectedly the other king was a relatively young man – young compared to the other rulers the Ren siblings knew. At his side were his three closest friends and his wife, who was very beautiful, intelligent and kind. Kougyoku and the queen soon established a friendly relationship with another. For Hakuryuu things were a bit harder. He was unsure how to interact with the king and his friends outside of their political meetings.  
There was this blond guy Prompto, who was very kind and funny – maybe a little bit too energetic for Hakuryuu’s liking, but this did not change the fact that Prompto was a nice person and only meant well. He was making photos all the time with a camera – something like this did not exist in the Kou Empire yet. In general the other kingdom name Lucis was more advanced regarding technology, therefore there was a lot the Kou Empire could learn from them. The question was just what the price they would have to pay would be.  
The king’s name was Noctis and Hakuryuu had the feeling that they were much alike when it came to interaction with strangers, yet this similarity was not helpful. However, it took a bit away from the nervousness Hakuryuu had felt and it was easier to understand the other’s actions and reactions.  
Another friend, who accompanied Noctis, was a guard with the name Gladiolus or Gladio for short. It was the first time Hakuryuu had heard a friend being called by a nickname – well, his brothers shorted their names too and Aladdin had done the same with Morgiana, but the first had been family and Aladdin had been a child and children gave nicknames to everyone and everything. Even the king was called Noct instead of Noctis most of the time. Gladiolus was an intimidating guy: tall, muscular, deep voice and a scar across his chest and his left eye. Although he looked like this he was a kind and caring person. Just the way Gladio interacted with his little sister or his wife was prove of this – also Gladiolus always lent a helpful hand to everyone, who needed one.  
The last in the group was the advisor Ignis. For unknown reasons Hakuryuu liked the man immediately. Something about him was calming and reassuring. Sadly, Ignis lost his eyesight during a fight years ago. Hakuryuu had been really surprised, when he found out that Ignis was still in charge of cooking, despite not seeing anything. Some people were truly amazing! Ignis was one of them! By the way, his meals tasted fantastic! Moreover, the meals were the reason why Ignis, Hakuryuu and Kougyoku slowly became friends, because all three of them liked cooking.  
For Ignis it had been nothing special or enjoyable at first, but seeing the smiles on other people’s faces made him feel great and so he started to enjoy cooking more and more. Creating new recipes was also great.  
Hakuryuu had found some way to distract himself from the loss of his family, when he started to learn how to cook, and it was something he was good at, which was pure balsam for his broken soul. He had never been good at something or there was someone, who was better at it than him, therefore it felt wonderful to finally have something he was good at.  
For Kougyoku it was similar. All her life she had been neglected and only been looked down upon because of the social status of her mother, so cooking or in her case baking was a way for her to be herself and express herself. Unfortunately, besides Ka Koubun and her two personal guards no one had known about her hobby or had tasted her desserts. Ka Koubun even sometimes refused to eat her stuff, which was very heartbreaking. However, she understood that he was just not a sweet tooth like her. Her other two servants on the other hand always ate her creations with a big smile on their faces. To see how much they enjoy her food made her smile and feel great. When Hakuryuu first tasted one of her cakes, she had been pretty nervous, when Hakuryuu said he liked it, she could have died out of happiness. Sharing a hobby with a family member was a brilliant thing, because one could share thoughts, new ideas or do said hobby together. Through cooking they had strengthen their bond.

With Ignis things got better and more excited. Logically Hakuryuu and Kougyoku only knew recipes from Kou – although Hakuryuu knew a few Reim Empire recipes –, so Ignis brought many new recipes and therewith possibilities in their cooking adventures. Due to their limited time in the kingdom of Lucis the three barely had time to share their knowledge or cook a meal together. This was probably the most and the only disappointment of Hakuryuu’s and Kougyoku’s little trip. All political and economic matters were perfectly dealt with, which meant that a new trading partnership had been made and it seemed like the Kou Empire were the first and the only the other kingdom had trading relationships with outside of their continent. Questionable how long this would be the case. However, as long as it lasted they would make the best out of it!

*

After they returned to the Kou Empire they kept in touch with Ignis through phones, which was somewhat strange of course, Shellphones did not exist only since yesterday, but the phones in the kingdom of Lucis were so different and far more advanced than those of the rest of the world. Kougyoku had been extremely worried that communication might not possible because of those differences, however it worked somehow.

The end of this little stories was that the three slowly became friends and now Ignis would pay Hakuryuu and Kougyoku a visit. Originally Ignis was not the only guest they had invited over, however Noctis became father and wanted to stay with his wife and the new born. Gladio was Noctis’ guard and so he had to stay behind as well, while Prompto wanted to take as many pictures as he could from the baby. Ignis at first wanted to stay as well, but in the end decided against it. Maybe because he didn’t want to bother the queen and the child? More than enough people were surrounding them now, so another one may be too much. Well, it didn’t matter in the end. He was coming over and Hakuryuu and Kougyoku were freaking out over it. 

While Kougyoku was excitedly fantasizing about all the delicious food they would cook together, Hakuryuu worried that his sister Hakuei may interfere and poison everyone with her creations. All he could do was to hope that she would stay wherever she was right now for the rest of the day – or at least stayed away from the kitchen.  
Ignis seemed not nervous at all, when he arrived. Maybe a bit exhausted from the long journey, but not nervous. Perhaps he was more used to visiting friends oversea? Well, it wasn’t hard to have more experience with friends than Kougyoku and Hakuryuu, who both barely had any. 

Before the three disappeared in the kitchen, they rested in the big garden of the palace and talked about various things that had happened in the last months. Most of the talking was done by Ignis. So much for resting. After resting they had a short tour through the palace. Hakuryuu wasn’t sure whether this was useful for Ignis, who could not see anything anyway, but why stopping his big sister enjoying herself, when their guest was not complaining at all?

*

As a matter of prudence Kougyoku had prepared an apron for Ignis. Both Hakuryuu and Kougyoku had their own. Hakuryuu had made one for Kougyoku and she had made one for her little brother. It had been an extremely long discussion and a lot of thinking, but in the end they had decided to give Ignis an apron with the words “The mom” on it. Calling Ignis “mom” came from the way his friends in Lucis teased him with it. They two royals thought it was a funny nickname and a fitting one. The blind man, who nevertheless still wore his glasses, was a caring, kind and thoughtful person. The way he treated his king and gave advice reminded everyone of a good mother. Furthermore, he seemed to be the most levelheaded person out of his group of friends. Ignis was a great person.  
The color of the apron was white.  
Kougyoku’s apron was pink and had words “cutie pie” on it, beneath the words was a cupcake. Hakuryuu’s apron was white and had the words “kiss the cook” on it. His sister had giggled like crazy back when she gave it to him and when he had read out the words kissed him on his cheek. Judar was teasing him with it as well, but Hakuryuu wasn’t bothered by it anymore. At first it had been embarrassing, yet he thought it was funny. His sister had put a lot of effort, love and time into making the apron, so there was no reason to be ashamed of wearing something that was made with so much devotion. And he got a lot of kisses on his cheek every time he cooked together with Kougyoku and wore the apron. Once he had asked her, why she did kiss him. Her answer was surprising and pleasant, because until now he thought he didn’t deserve love and a family. Of course, this thought had changed a bit through the time he spent with Kougyoku and Judar, however his feelings often told him otherwise. Feelings were hard to change, even when someone knew they were wrong. Sometimes he wished a special someone would give him a kiss, but this did not made the kisses of his sister less important, nice and pleasant. Knowing their bond got deeper and deeper was a great knowledge. During their cooking session with Ignis, Kougyoku did not gave kisses away, but she giggled at Hakuryuu, when he put on his apron. Ignis made no comments about any of the aprons. Not because he could not see anything, since Kougyoku told him how each apron liked like, but because he simply did not care much. The young man thanked his two new friends for the gift and looked amused about it. 

After exchanging gifts, the three now got down to the important matter. What should they cook? And how should they share work between each other? Hakuryuu and Kougyoku were unsure how Ignis would do inside an unknown kitchen. In Lucis the advisor knew where all supplies were, but in the palace kitchen he did not. Well, they would manage somehow and the other one was grown up and could decide for himself, what he wanted to do and what he was capable of doing. Ignis wanted to eat a typical Kou dish, while the other two wanted a lucish meal. In the end they decided to make a mix. Each of them would make a part of the meal. Kougyoku took care of the dessert, Hakuryuu was responsible for the side dishes and the appetizer and Ignis made the main dish. 

While they cooked, they had a few problems with the conversation in the beginning. Starting a conversation was hard for both of the Kou children. But just cooking in silence was not so nice, somehow in Lucis things had been easier.  
“Say Ignis, how old have you been, when you started cooking?”, Kougyoku asked.  
Someone had to try to start a conversation.  
“Huh, good question. It wasn’t so long ago.”  
“Why have you started?”, Kougyoku asked another question.  
“Because of Noctis. He left the palace, when he got into high school and had to take care of himself. However his highness was not good at cooking and would only eat fast food, so I decided to learn how to cook to provide him with balanced meals. You cannot believe how hard it is to do so, when your king refuses to eat his vegetables!”, Ignis explained.  
“This reminds me of Judar. He dislikes vegetables as well and would always throw them away”, Hakuryuu said.  
Often had he cooked for the black-haired Magi, who throw the vegetables from the plate as soon as he saw them. It hurt a bit to see this, but he had accepted it. Judar was not someone, who gave much about good food. All he wanted was peaches. Peaches were tasty, but one should not only eat those. It was unhealthy.  
“Judar? I think, I haven’t met Judar yet”, Ignis said.  
“You will meet him soon enough”, Hakuryuu reassured his friend.

“When did you two started to cook?”, Ignis asked.  
“Well, as a child I was alone often. Since I was only the daughter of a whore, no one cared about me and my well-being. They kept me alive, but I was neglected most of the time. One day I sneaked into the kitchen, because I was so hungry, but the chef refused to make me something at such a late hour, so I wanted to do it myself”, Kougyoku explained.  
As child it was hard to really cook something, especially when one never had cooked before. Moreover, she liked sweets more than any of the other dishes, so she wanted something sweet. Somehow she still had managed to make herself something to eat and she had had a lot of fun. Not much fun was the cleaning afterwards and the scolding she got for not doing so in the first place.  
“Why would a servant refuse the order of a royal?”  
Ignis was surprised over such a behavior. Besides Noctis and his father, the late king, no royal had lived in the palace and no one had ever refused an order of them. Well, they did when Regis, Noctis’ father, ordered the servants to refuse certain things for Noctis. Apparently things were different, when one was not the crown prince.  
“Well, I am just the daughter of a whore and at that time my father was not even the emperor. I was no one. Before me were my three older brothers and my six older sisters and of course the emperor and his family. One could say, despite being a part of the royal family, I was nobody. Unimportant and useless. A burden to everyone”, Kougyoku spoke with a lump in her throat.  
“I see. That sounds terrible. Noctis was the only child of the former king, so no one ever thought about denying him a wish. I guess, things are different, when one isn’t the crown prince.”  
“Yes, thing are quite different, when one is a low born.”  
The atmosphere got heavy. 

“What about you, Hakuryuu? Why did you learn how to cook?”  
“After the fire incident that killed my brothers and ensured the usurper’s enthronement, my sister Hakuei and I taught us how to cook. My sister was of the opinion that we should learn how to take care of ourselves. For the people of this palace we were nothing important anymore. My uncle was the new emperor and so his family was now important. No one cared about a small child, who had nothing to give. So why should they do anything special for such a child? We weren’t as neglected as Kougyoku had been, but the way they had treated as before and after the murder of my father and older brothers was … Well, we just had to get more independent. And so we taught ourselves how to cook and it was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, my sister was not very talented and I always had to taste her creations. She did not get better over the years. For me cooking turned also into something that distracted me from the loss of my family and it was something I was good at. Since I had slept for two months, my sister knew a few things about cooking, when I joined her. I guess, she liked teaching me the basics and it felt nice to spend so much time with her. Although it felt awkward at times”, Hakuryuu answered.  
The reason why he started cooking was not a pleasant one. However, this did not change how much fun he had with his hobby now. It was the same in Kougyoku’s case.  
“Let’s talk about something more fun!”, Kougyoku suggested.  
“You’re right. I am sorry. It wasn’t my intention to remind any of you of such horrible things.”

The following silence was awkward, but no one wanted to say anything. Ignis didn’t want to hurt his new friends again and Kougyoku and Hakuryuu had no topic.  
Maybe it wasn’t so bad to cook in silence, but things might have been better, when the silence wasn’t so unpleasant. From time to time Ignis asked for a few supplies.  
“Is it hard to cook without seeing anything? I mean, you do not see your fingers. Aren’t you afraid of cutting yourself? Or using the wrong ingredients? And how can you see or how do you know whether certain meals are ready? When I think about cooking without seeing anything, I cannot image how this should work.”  
This question bothered Hakuryuu for quite some time.  
“A lot of practice. Normally, I am not alone in the kitchen, when I prepare the meals, so I always have someone at my side, who can help me or prevent a disaster. Moreover, I make sure that all supplies always return to their specific place”, Ignis explained as if it was totally logical and normal.  
For Hakuryuu it was not and his admiration for his friend rose. He wasn’t blind on his left eye, but his vision there was extremely bad, which caused a few inconveniences for him, especially when he just learned how to cook. Of course, he had gotten used to his bad vision, but differently than Ignis he was still able to see something through both of his eyes.  
“I think this is amazing”, Hakuryuu said.  
“Agreed! You are really amazing!”, Kougyoku agreed with her little brother. “I have a question as well: Why are you called “mom” by your friends? Or better asked, when did they start to do so? “Mom” is an unusual nickname.”  
“I guess, say call me that, because I am always worried about Noctis and treated him like a mother would treat their child. Noctis lost his mother, when he was still very young, so when I was assigned as his advisor I thought I had to fill in her spot in same way. Someone, who cooks for him, cleans his room, help him with schoolwork and all those other things. Also I told him, what he should wear, so he wouldn’t get sick. For me all these things were normal things. I never thought that I did more than I should or would mother him. He had needs and as his servant, his friend and advisor I had to take care of those. When we set out for our journey to Noctis’ and Lady Lunafreya’s wedding, I also took care of Prompto and Gladio. Well, Gladio was good at looking after himself, but Prompto had never been outside the crown city and also never had fought a fight before. Maybe I overdid it a bit. We were already adults back then.”  
“Sounds like a funny reason to call someone a “mom” and like they mean it in a nice way. So, they started to call you “mom” during your trip?”  
“No, we made some “mom” puns and so, but it was actually my wife Aranea, who started with this nickname. She loved teasing Noctis about being so dependent and call him a mother’s boy. Once Noctis asked her, who his mother should be, since his mother was dead. Instead of feeling bad or being shocked Aranea said I would be Noctis’ mother. Ever since then I am officially called “mom”.”  
A big smile appeared on Ignis face. It was a nice memory. 

“I wish I could remember my mother”, Kougyoku said.  
Hakuryuu kept his thought about the “mother”-topic to himself. He had loved his mother until he had found out that she had only manipulated him. Remembering all the beautiful events of the past pained him, since it reminded him about all the thing he actually never had. All her loved had been a lie and all the horrible events after the fire incident were part of his mother’s true nature. Looking at Ignis made him think about the qualities a good mother should have and it made him smile. He wished his mother would have been like this, had truly been like this and not just a part of her play pretend. 

The next topic the three talked about was the trip Ignis had mentioned. Until now Kougyoku and Hakuryuu only new about political marriages – not that they thought this was the only kind of marriage, but it was the most common one. Having a bachelor party before marriage was therefore unknown to them. Never had they expected that Ignis’ story would turn into a story about fighting against a manic, who wanted to destroy the world. It sounded a bit surreal, yet they did not question it, since they had experienced a lot of strange events themselves. Just because something started out normal, did not mean it would stay normal until the end. 

*

Eating self-made food was great, especially when one could share it with friends. While eating they discussed how they could improve their dishes, shared recipes and talked about their favorite food. Of course, Ignis knew more than just typical recipes from Lucis. The same applied Hakuryuu, who also knew a few other dishes. Kougyoku felt a bit stupid, because she only knew Kou dishes.

Cooking together with Ignis had been a lot of fun and they would do it again. Not just while he stayed, no they would invite him over another time again. Sharing stories with him, laughing with him and just do normal stuff was a great feeling. It gave Kougyoku and Hakuryuu a sense of normality. And this was a feeling both needed desperately. So many things had happened in their lives that it almost normal for them that everything was a mess.


	17. Flaws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 17\. One Shot (Hakuryuu): He knew about his insecurities and his flaws and he knew about his good points.

Hakuryuu had a relatively good self-awareness. He knew about his insecurities and his flaws and he knew about his good points – although there weren’t many according to him. Well, his self-awareness was not perfect, thus he always saw himself more in a bad light. This, however, was relatively normal. A lot of humans focused more on their bad traits instead of their good ones. Hakuryuu knew he wasn’t as smart, strong, charismatic and good-looking as others, which did not mean that he saw himself as stupid or ugly – although the giant scar on his face and the scars on his body made him feel inferior and he tried to hide them, because they were not a pleasant sight for him or anyone else. However, he saw himself as weak and this was something probably everyone around him agreed upon, although most of them did not say it out loud. A mere servant calling a prince weak? This only happened behind the prince’s back, but never would a servant dare to say it into his face. Maybe it was better that way for everyone. It was already hard enough to know that everyone was looking down on him, he didn’t want and needed to hear it out of their mouths.  
His negative thoughts about himself were also strengthened by the constant rejections he received. Not only was he not smart, not good-looking, not strong enough, he also was not loved and did not deserve to be loved. He had no right to fight for his believes or to defend himself. This assumption was confirmed by the way others treated him. His sister had rejected him, when he needed her the most, his love was rejected by Morgiana, his supposed friends did not help him in his fight against Al-Thamen and saving his country and when he fought for his rights and his believes, he was looked down upon and scold. Loving himself was something he had to relearn. Self-hate was the only feeling he had for himself for many years. Hate, because he was weak, because he hadn’t had a chance against the witch, because he was so powerless.  
How should he compete with a guy like Ren Kouen? Kouen was a tall and muscular man, Hakuryuu was relatively small compared to his cousin and had soft features. Furthermore his cousin had three djinns, while Hakuryuu only had two – and it took him quite long to even get the first one. Well, Kouen also had the advantage of being the first in the Empire, who gained a djinn. Somehow this was more important and amazing than someone being the second one to obtain a djinn. Hakuryuu couldn’t understand it, both Kougyoku and Hakuei had conquered their dungeons without an army, differently than Kouen and his brothers, who had taken many soldiers with them to reach the treasure room. Still Kouen was the amazing and impressive one, because he was the first, who got a djinn. Despite that it was hard to keep up with Kouen anyway. He was tall, had a stern expression and hard features. People were easily intimidated by his mere appearance, while Hakuryuu looked more like a nice little boy. Who would take someone like that serious? Most people would not. Moreover, Kouen had the advantage of already serving under Hakutoku. So the soldiers already knew him and even more importantly knew how strong he was without a djinn – Kouen was not just strong because of his djinn, he also was a great fighter without them. Hakuryuu had nothing to beat that. When he started to learn how to use a weapon Kouen was already assigned commander of the army, due to his skills. In Kou one had either power because one was a royal, who held an important political position, or one was a general or higher positioned in the army. The fourth prince without any important role in the political affairs or a position on the army was like a commoner – nothing!  
If he at least were a good strategist, he could score some points, but this was already done by Koumei. Although Koumei was a weakling, when it came to fighting – Hakuryuu was sure he could beat him in reads to mere physical strength –, but he was a great strategist. A war couldn’t be won with weapons alone. One also needed a good strategy. What Hakuryuu lacked was not intelligent, it was experience. However, how should he gain experience, when he never entered the battlefield – he was not a part of Kou’s army and therefore not part of their battles and strategies. Actually, he was fine with that. He had no intention of helping the witch to obtain more power. Contrary to that it still made him feel insecure about himself that he couldn’t reach Kouen’s or Koumei’s level – that he was not as strong or smart as them. That his older sister Hakuei also became a general of the army, did not make it any better. Of course, she got the position because she had a djinn, while he had none at that time, but it still made him feel like he was the weakest in his family, although he was the one, who needed power the most. His self-esteem was not improved by this development. It got better, when he himself conquered a dungeon. A djinn could not change everything. Kouen was still stronger than him and Koumei was still smarter and he was still not a part of the army and looked down upon. He was still on his own and needed more power. However, a djinn was a start, a good step in the right direction. Hakuryuu learned how to perform the full body djinn equip pretty fast, what made him very proud.

His pushed up self-esteem however would not last for long. When he encountered Gyokuen and was easily defeated by her, he lost his confident in himself and his power. His sister had rejected him before, so he could not expect help from her, could not expect her to lend him her power to defeat the witch. He was on his own again. If he had an army to back him up, like Kouen had, he wouldn’t have to worry or feel so horrible, but he had not and this fact couldn’t be changed. Also he could not ask for help from his other relatives, who were fine with the current situation. Why should they complain? Their lived got better and if they would help him, this might change – they would probably fear that this would happen.   
Falling into depravity gave him some of his confident back. Maybe it was because, he now had the help of a Magi, of someone who hated the witch just like he did. Maybe it was because he obtained another djinn. Whatever the reason behind it was, it felt good.   
It got even better when he finally killed Gyokuen or better said Arba. Hakuryuu always had been considered the weakest, even his supposed friends saw him as weak, and now it was him, who had killed the leader of Al-Thamen – something no one had even dared to try before. Everyone had been afraid of the organization, but he and Judar had faced them and won. What a beautiful feeling! There was nothing and no one, who could stop him now. His little success got to his head. Well, it was understandable after all those years in which he had felt like he was not even worth being alive, accomplishing something no one else had or had even tried was the best thing ever!  
Hakuryuu knew that he often felt too strongly about other people. So when he liked and respected someone, he would hold that person in high regards and would not let anyone dirty their name, but when this person disappointed him, his dislike and disgust was even stronger. Somehow it was hard for him to balance his feelings out, yet it hadn’t been much of a problem until now. What, however, was a problem, was his tendency to act upon his feelings. When Gyokuen had defeated him, his self-hate, his hate for this unjust world and the disappointment in his remaining family, namely Hakuei, had grown so much that the word “hate” or “disappointment” was not enough not describe what he truly had felt. If he had stayed calm and tried to ignore his feelings, he might have found another way to handle the situation back then. Eventually all the events that followed afterwards had never happened and they all could have find a better solution, a way in which no one had to die. His feelings also had caused problems when he was trying to conquer Zagan’s dungeon. If Morgiana hadn’t insisted on helping him, ignoring his wish to be left alone, he might have died due to his extensive Magoi use or had been rushed by the dungeon’s monsters. All because he didn’t want to take help from others, because he felt he alone was responsible for taking back his country and avenging his brothers, because accepting help was like admitting that he was weak. How stupid! He always had been a serious person, he took his duties and responsibilities very serious and didn’t want to bother others with them. This caused him to appear a bit arrogant and distant. In his childish naivety he had thought the only way to achieve his goal, was to be serious all the time and handle everything on his own. Of course, he a lot to shoulder by himself and he was a more serious person, but he had been too stubborn. Childishly stubborn. There was no reason to refuse help from others and he hadn’t had to proof himself to anyone. He had been too stiff and narrow minded. Now that he was older, he was more relaxed, was calmer. Maybe this was due to feeling lighter after defeating Gyokuen and getting back the Kou Empire. He felt more at peace, although he now had to deal with other problems. One burden was replaced by another. However, the burden felt different and he was not alone anymore. His sister Kougyoku was at his side and helped him with dealing with the Empire. She couldn’t help him with his feeling of guilt, but she could help him to stay focused and to find solutions for the new problems they had to face after the civil war. And she stopped him from hating himself and losing faith. 

Hakuryuu knew he was not perfect. He knew he was very flawed and had a lot of insecurities. But he also knew that he was still young and could improve himself. No one was born omniscient or was the perfect ruler from the get go – everyone had to learn how to rule a country and how to deal with other people. Until now he never had the chance to do so, therefore it was only logical that he made mistakes and even felt a bit overwhelmed – it was a bit too much for him alone.   
When he had his first fighting lesson he had known nothing about weapons – how to hold them, how to use them, how to take care of them – and now he was a strong warrior and he had two djinns at his side. Nowadays no one would could him weak and he also didn’t view himself like that anymore. Yes, he wasn’t as strong as Kouen and not as smart as Koumei, but he knew how to survive and how to defend himself. Also he was good at coming up with plans during a fight or adjusting plans depending on the situation. He had gained some experiences, honed his fighting skills and most importantly he was not on his own any longer. Judar was on his side and would not leave. Together with him and Kougyoku Hakuryuu was sure he would be able to become a better person. The first steps had already been made and with his more or less good self-judgement – Hakuryuu was still too critical with his bad traits and often forgot about his good sides, which made it seem like he had a bad opinion about himself, which had been true in the past, and did not knew himself well – he would surely reach his new personal goal.


	18. The sun, the monn and the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18\. One Shot (Hakuryuu/fem!OC): Hakuryuu visits Judar's home village and takes a nap at a nearby lake until his wife interrupts him. In the end they have a strange conversation about the sun, the moon and the stars.

Whenever they paid Judar’s home village a visit, Hakuryuu took the chance to enjoy the nice weather and the beautiful sight. Near a big lake he laid down and closed his eyes. A soft wind cooled down the hot air and the shadow created by the giant, old tree next to him was also quite helpful. The weather was wonderful, but without the wind it would be too hot to go outside. Judar had stayed back in the village – probably not voluntarily – to help out there. Normally Hakuryuu also offered a helping hand and with Zagan’s power he could do a lot for the people. However, he hadn’t come here to work, he was here to relax from all the work at home. An advantage of Judar been kept busy by the villager was that Hakuryuu could also take a break from his friend. He liked Judar, but that guy could be very exhausting. So a few hours without the other one were always welcomed and needed. The two of them had discovered this place, but until then it had always only been Hakuryuu, who came back and enjoyed the place. Because he was a nice person, he had offered Judar to come with him, but got rejected every time. There was almost nothing he hated more than rejections, therefore he stopped asking. Sometimes it seemed like Judar wanted to be asked, wanted to go with him, but Hakuryuu ignored it. If the other one wanted something, he had to say it or stay silent forever!  
The only person who kept him company from time to time was his wife. Due to her own duties she did not go to Judar’s village every time the other two did, also she was of the opinion that her husband and his friend should spent some of their free time together without her. The life in the palace was hectic and it was so easy to overlook each other. This time she had gone with them, because she was tired of all the work and needed a break, also she wanted to eat the great meat buns made by one of Judar’s relatives. Seeing her happy made Hakuryuu happy as well. Because of their marriage she also lived in Kou, thus she had to leave her own home. For him she had left her home, her family and her friends – of course, she could visit them or write them, but it was still a huge difference whether someone was near or far, far away. So when she came with them to Judar’s home village, Hakuryuu was even happier. Somehow it felt more complete with her. Also the lake was a perfect dating place! Quite a few times they had picnicked here and it had been wonderful. Theoretically one could also go bathing in the lake, but none of them really liked swimming or the water. Hakuryuu disliked it because of his scars, his wife disliked it because of no particular reason – maybe because she did not trust the fishes and other creatures inside the water, also water was cold. She disliked the cold. Judar liked it. Those two were so different and alike at the same time that Hakuryuu could only be amazed. Both of them liked his food and him, and he liked the two. So everything was fine.  
Ever since his family died, he felt like his life was covered in darkness. The whole world had turned dark and he had only seen the light again, when Judar and he had joined hands. However his world had still been dark not bright. Judar was not a bright person. He loved chaos and causing trouble for others. However Judar had turned the black world into a gray world. Finally he had seen an end to his struggling and pain, one could say he had seen the light at the end of the dark tunnel. The one who had given his gray world all of the colors back was his wife. They had met when he had gone to pick Judar up from his home village. Back then Hakuryuu hadn’t known where exactly Judar had been or that the village was the other one’s home, but when Judar told him he had felt happy. Hearing that his friend had found his home and a few relatives, was a great thing – he had feared Judar may not come back to the Kou Empire back then, but his fear was unfounded. As if the so called black Magi would let go of his king, who he had missed so much. And his king had missed him a lot as well.  
Hakuryuu had stay some days, during that period he also had met his wife. She and Judar had already know each other and it actually had been Judar, who had introduced her to him. Who would have thought that Judar was good as a matchmaker? Well, Hakuryuu had not. His wife was a cheerful person, who also could be very negative, when she was in a bad mood or sad. However, she always tried to see the bright sight of everything, as long as it was not about her. Whenever something bad happened to her she immediately saw it as the end of her life and nothing good would ever happen to her. Yes, she could be very dramatic at times, which was amusing in some situations. But most of the time she was a happy little ray of sunshine – well, maybe not that little, since she was only a bit smaller than Hakuryuu. Judar still mocked her with it and she let him get her. As counter she always used his weak physics against him. In the end those two would bicker – a friendly bickering.  
“There you are”, someone called out to the almost sleeping Hakuryuu.  
As tired as he was, he barely opened his eyes to see, who had called him, although he could already tell just by the voice. His wife had gone to search for him.   
“Here I am and here you are”, Hakuryuu said in response with a smile on his lips.  
Simply seeing her made him smile and feel good.   
“You should have said where you were going. It took me so long to find this place. As punishment you have to cook me my favorite dinner later.”  
Hakuryuu hadn’t said anything, because he had assumed that everyone knew where he was going. On the other hand, most barely visit the lake and therefore probably barely anyone knew where it was located. His wife also did not come here very often, so she was even more unfamiliar with the landscape than the people of the village.   
“Sorry, I thought it was obvious. Next time I’ll tell you and show you where you have to go to get here”, Hakuryuu apologized, “C’mon sit down. The weather is pretty nice today, so let us enjoy it.”  
“Nice? The weather it horrible! It’s way too hot”, his wife complained, while she sat down next to him under the tree.  
Hakuryuu was confused and one could see it on his face. He had thought she liked it warm. Wasn’t she constantly complaining, during the winter, about how cold it was and how she wanted it to be summer again? Had he misunderstood something important?  
“I thought you liked it warm.”  
“I do. However, there is a huge difference between “hot” and “warm”. When it’s warm you do not sweat like made by just being alive. But when it is hot, you do! And the worst, you cannot get away from the heat!”  
She really wanted to take off all of her clothes, although it would not do much. It still would be too warm and she would still sweat like crazy.   
“Maybe when you asked very nicely then Judar may use his ice magic too cool you down”, Hakuryuu suggested.   
“Um, not a bad idea. Unfortunately, I think Judar would overdo it or refuse, just so he can annoy me. He can be such a dick.”  
Yes, Judar could and he would use every opportunity he could get to prank someone or to be an asshole. But until now he also had always helped, when asked by Hakuryuu or his wife. Even when the latter one often got into arguments with Judar, they got a long pretty well. Those small disputes were never serious and existed only because both of them could be very stubborn and didn’t want to lose to the other one. Unfortunately for Judar, Hakuryuu’s wife won most of the arguments.   
“Or he is so kind and does help you. And then you have to thank him.”  
“Yes.”  
While they had talked, she had taken off her shoes. Feeling the grass on her skin was nice – she was a bit ticklish. For a while none of them said anything. She was playing with the grass and Hakuryuu was watching her. Although he was sleepy he did not want to fall asleep, because for him it was rude to sleep, while someone else was there. What if his wife wanted to talk to him? Or felt lonely? Yes, he had a lot of self-made problems, but this was just how he was.

“If it is too hot, you can also go into the water. I am sure it will help you to cool down”, Hakuryuu said.  
One could hear that he was tired and a yawn confirmed it further. Usually Hakuryuu was not someone, who needed a nap, but he had gone to bed quite late the other day and therefore hadn’t rest as much as he needed. The weather also wasn’t helpful with staying awake. His wife was right, one did not even have to move to sweat and feel exhausted. The cold breeze made it more bearable and he had found a good place to stay – the trees covered most of the sun.  
“I know, but I don’t want to go into the water. Who knows what kind of creatures live in this lake.”  
“Then, do you want to sleep a little bit? As long as we stay under the tree, it won’t be too warm and we can relax. It’s a nice place for a nap, I can assure you.”  
Hakuryuu knew that his wife loved sleeping, that’s why she took a nap whenever she had time for one, which wasn’t too often, because of all the work back at home. Happily his wife followed his suggested and took his hand, which he had offered her. Another thing she greatly liked: holding hands. They did not hold hands in public much and they also barely did it in private, because his wife often got annoyed by it – she started to sweat, because it was too warm, it was a hindrance at work, because she only had one hand left, and it made her feel trapped –, but she seemed to love it, to take his hand into her very firmly and hold it close to her body, just like now. She rested her head on his chest, facing him, and holding his hand close to her chest. It looked like she was protecting something important from being stolen. Probably because she didn’t want to lose Hakuryuu and was afraid someone might steel him away from her – someone like Judar. For her this way of holding hands was very important and had a meaning to her, although Hakuryuu did not know the meaning, but also had never asked. Somehow he was of the opinion that this was something he did not need to know and it was better not to know. A bit stupid, but one did not need to understand everything. Important was only that she enjoyed herself and was happy.   
“Your skin is so soft”, she said, while drawing little circles on his arm.   
“Yours too.”  
Besides being soft, her skin also was very pale and Hakuryuu had worried about her health a lot, when they first met. Since she avoided going outside under the sun, the chances that her skin tone got a bit darker where extremely small. Well, it was her body and she could do whatever she wanted with it, but Hakuryuu’s worries would not get less until she would look a bit healthier. Tenderly he stroke a few strands of hair out of her face.

It was a bit ironic that he always wanted to life under the sun, as they say, and now he was hiding from it, because he could not bear the heat. This thought cause him to laugh at bit, which caused his wife to look at him in confusion.   
“What’s so funny? Are you laughing about me?”, she asked not very pleased by the thought he might laugh about her.   
“I was thinking how ironic it was that I chased after the sun, after the light for so long, and now I am hiding from it”, Hakuryuu answered honestly.  
“What a stupid thought. You know, you shouldn’t have chased after the sun anyway. The sun is stupid!”  
Hakuryuu wasn’t sure how the sun could be stupid, but he kept this to himself. He wasn’t in a mood to start a pointless dispute with his wife. She, on the other hand, switched her position, so that she now looked at the cloudless sky. For a moment no one said anything until she suddenly pointed at the sky: “Look, there you can see the moon! The moon is better than the sun. He doesn’t make you sweat like hell, he does not burn your skin or hurt your eyes, when you accidently look up to him and he is always there.”  
Hakuryuu looked where she was pointing at, but could not see much besides the blue of the sky.   
“There is nothing”, he stated hoping that this would not cause an argument.  
Maybe his eyes got bad or he was too tired or he simply didn’t want to see the moon. One of the most annoying aspects of his wife, was her stubbornness paired with desire to always be right – which often was also due to her wanting other to agree with her and she wanted to convince those who had other opinions to change theirs. For whatever reason it was a huge disaster when she and Hakuryuu had different opinions about things, especially things she considered important. She could accept it, but she did not like it and it made her uncomfortable. It had gotten better over the time, but it was still obvious that she wanted Hakuryuu to have the same opinions as she had – his opinions were very important to her.  
“But he is there! Look!”, she waved her hands around as if this would make Hakuryuu magically see the moon out of nowhere, “You are probably blinded by the sun, just like everyone else. You have to take a closer look. The moon is not very visible during the day, but he is there.”  
Out of good will and because he wanted to confirm whether the moon could be seen during daytime – he hadn’t paid any attention to it until now – he took a closer look. Indeed, he could see something! It was very easy to overlook, because it was so inconspicuous and blurred in with its surrounding, but it was there and it was the moon.  
Hakuryuu told his wife that he now saw the moon, which made her happy.   
“You cannot see the sun at night. So he moon is better! He will be there in the dark and help you see, where you’re walking. And at daytime he is also there and looks after you, but he is more subtle about it. When you compare with human relationships than this means that the sun is the person that will only be at your side, when the times are good, but leave you as soon as trouble is nearing. The moon, on the other hand, is the person that will stay with you when times are good and support you, in times of need. He will not leave you, during the dark times of your life. Moreover, the moon accepts others beside him – the stars. As you know, the sun is always alone at the sky. So this means she does not like other people being near you, she wants to be the only person in your life – she wants you to depend on her. However, the moon accepts all of your friends. When you look at the night sky you see so many stars. Those stars are you friends and family, people that helped you and are there for you, just like the moon. And they will work together to make your life better, to support you and bring happiness to you. The sun is bitch!”  
Hakuryuu was surprised by his wife’s interpretation of the sun and the moon. He never had thought about them in any way. They existed, but they had no special meaning to him or anyone else. But like anyone else, he liked the sun more, because she meant it was daytime and humans feared the dark, the night, because it hold the unknown. At daytime everything could be seen and there was nothing unknown, nothing frightening. Still he hadn’t put much thought into it. For him it was just that way and end of the story.   
“This is a very interesting interpretation on things. So, you dislike the sun, simply because you think she represents a bad human relationship?”  
“Yes.”  
She had shifted her gaze back to him and wasn’t pointing at the sky anymore. Her voice was frim, so he knew this subject was important to her and she believed in what she had said. Honestly, she was a bad liar, so even when she tried to fake the importance of a matter, she failed – one only had to look her into the eyes and everything was clear, at least for Hakuryuu.  
“Say, who would be your sun, moon and star?”, she asked.  
She was curious.  
Since the question was a bit strange for Hakuryuu, and because it was the first time he had heard such a unique interpretation, he needed some time to think it through. When the stars where his friends and family, then maybe he had a starless sky. He had no friends and his family was horrible. Not a good start. What about his moon and sun? When the moon was a person, who would stay with one no matter what and helped one through their darkest hours, then his moon was Judar. Hakuryuu was sure his wife would do almost everything for him and also would stay at his side no matter what, but Judar was the one, who actually had been at his side at his worst times. And Judar also had been there for Hakuryuu before that, although he had pushed the other one away from him. Judar had always been at his side and it seemed like this would never change. Also they were friends, so was Judar his moon and a star? Was this possible? Well, going by his wife’s definition it should be. Now to his sun. According to his wife the sun was a person that was only there for someone, when times are good and would let one down as soon as it meant trouble for them. This would fit Alibaba and Aladdin the most. The two had acted as his friends and said they would help him, when he needed them, because they were friends, but in the end when he had needed them the most, they had betrayed him. It had been Judar, who had offered him help, when it should have been his friends to be at his side. So those two would be his sun and Judar would be his moon. Now back to the stars, he could still not think of many people for them. His wife would be a star and his sister Kougyoku as well.   
“Well, after thinking about it thoroughly, I came to the conclusion that Judar is my moon, Alibaba and Aladdin are the sun and you and Kougyoku are the stars.”  
“Interesting. But why are their only two stars in your life. That’s sad. I mean, have you ever looked at the night sky? There are so many stars and you only have two?”  
“I know, but I do not have many friends. And you know that my family is… a bit special. I would love to have more stars too, but I cannot change it. Anyway, why does it matter? I have you, Judar and Kougyoku. I don’t need hundreds of friends to be happy, the three of you are enough for me.”  
A short moment of silence followed. Somehow his wife did not seem to be satisfied with his answer. However, he failed to see what bothered her so much. Compared to him she had many friends, on the contrary her family was pretty small. Maybe because of that she could not understand, how someone could be fine with only three friends. Or she could not understand, how someone like Hakuryuu, who was perfect in her eyes, could not have more friends. He should have more!  
“Well, you know, you could have counted my family as yours or at least as friends. They really like you! If I tell them that you do not consider them as stars, it will break their hearts.”  
This was true, her family was very fond of Hakuryuu and he liked them as well. Yet he was unsure how they viewed him. He hadn’t counted them, because he wasn’t sure, if they felt the same way, if he was allowed to see them as stars. Due to the distance between the Kou Empire and his wife’s homeland, he barely had a chance to interact with her family and so he could not say what they truly thought and felt about him.   
“You don’t have to tell them. They are my stars, I just was not sure, whether I am allowed to see them as such”, Hakuryuu told her and stroke through her hair again, “When we count your family as stars, I have a lot of stars now.”  
When his wife talked about her family, she also meant her friends, since for her they also counted as family. Because of that she always told other that she had a big family, although she only had her two brothers – her parents weren’t alive anymore and besides her two older brothers, she had no other relatives. His own family had become quite small as well, but there were chances that this could change in the future.

“So, what about you? Who are your sun, moon and stars?”, Hakuryuu asked.  
He was honestly curious. No he did not expect her to see him as her moon, since he already knew she also had been through tough times and it hadn’t been him, who had been at her side back then. Actually he was fine with that, she loved him so it did not matter as long as she did not consider him the sun – just like she did not care about his assignment, as long as she wasn’t the sun.  
“I wonder”, she simply answered and closed her eyes.  
She had absolutely no intention of giving him a concrete answer. It was more fun to let him guess. Maybe she would tell him some time in the future. For now she preferred to make herself comfortable on him, while playing with his hand. It was indeed pretty nice under the big tree, hidden from the sun and the heat. The next time her husband and Judar would pay a visit to this little village, she would go with them. Work could wait, but this place may be gone one day or she might not be able to go there anymore.  
Smiling ignoring her husband’s constant question, who was who to her, she enjoyed the weather and the landscape, until she felt asleep. Hakuryuu followed her into the land of dreams soon after.


	19. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 19\. One Shot (JuHaku): Hakuryuu had never expected to get married one day, but undoubtedly today was his wedding day!

Never had he dared to dream of this day. The day he would get married to the person he loved from the bottom of his heart. A person, who loved him! Ever since he had gotten rejected, he had never dreamed about actually getting married – until now all people he had cared about had rejected him and his feelings.   
Yes, he had dreamed about it once, wished for it, but his mind had always told him that in the end he would stay alone. His own mind told him that he did not deserved love and now he was about to prove himself and his mind wrong! In a few hours he would be married and absolutely no one could change that! As long as no one died or other disasters occurred. However, today he would not let his negative mind ruin this day! All pessimistic thoughts were ignored – they still affected him, but he tried his best convincing himself that this wasn’t the case. Nervously he walked up and down in his bedroom, which soon also was his spouses bedroom – technically it already was, since they shared the bed since the proposal months ago. After the wedding it would also officially be their room. This little thing somehow made Hakuryuu happy. All the little and big positive things in regards to his wedding made him happy. Nothing would change much, besides the color of the ring at their fingers, yet just thinking about the hours, days, weeks, months and years after the change made him curious, nervous and excited. In his head everything seemed so different despite being the same as before.  
Soon they would hold hands as a married couple, not just as an engaged couple.  
Soon they would share a bed as married couple, not just as an engaged couple.  
Soon they would kiss each other as a married couple, not just as an engaged couple.  
Soon they would walk down the hallway as a married couple, not just as an engaged couple.  
Soon they would be wed!  
And nobody and nothing could change that or could stop it! Well, at least as long as no war started or one of them was murdered or someone thought crashing the wedding would be fun. But how likely were those contingencies? Considering that this was about his happiness, it was very likely.  
When was the last time he had luck without paying a high price in the aftermath? Had such a time ever existed for him? Maybe back in his early childhood, when Hakuyuu and Hakuren had been still alive? Who knew? He obvious did not. 

Hakuryuu still wore his normal clothes. His wedding clothes were waiting in the dressing room, however he didn’t want to put them on too soon. Due to his nervousness he was sweating a lot and he really didn’t want his clothes to be wet, when getting married. Also he could make them dirty while waiting for the ceremony to begin. Everything that could possible delay his wedding was to be avoided! Dirty clothes were one of those things. Of course, he knew that his beloved couldn’t care less about clean clothes or about a ceremony in general, but for Hakuryuu these things were important. That also was the reason why they had a ceremony in the first place. To get wed in the Kou empire one did not need to celebrate it, all that was needed was – at least when it was a royal wedding – a “wedding contract” and the certification by a priest. The contract normally only played a role in political marriages, which was not the case here, and the certificate was just a piece of paper, on which the name of those who got wed were written down and a priest signed it to confirm that those two married. Both documents were only used in royal weddings. The common people had a certificate as well, but it was less formal and important and it was just called “registration confirmation”. Two different things for the same thing, because royals needed special treatment and distance themselves from the common people, even if it was just because of a piece of paper. For Hakuryuu the paper was uninteresting, he cared more about the ring, which soon would be put on his finger! Maybe it was stupid or ridiculous, but for him this small item was an important, material proof of their love. Of course, he knew that he was loved deeply even without the ring, sadly his mind loved being mean and every now and then started to question the feelings and intentions of the people around him. So in the end he needed it to trick himself, to believe himself and others.

Normally the wedding rings were matching each other, looked the same. This wasn’t the case here. At first Hakuryuu had wanted to be the one, who decided one the wedding rings, since his still fiancé had picked the engagement rings. Now he wondered why he had ever thought something like this was a good idea. And why had he thought his fiancé would agree? End of the story was the agreement to make a wedding ring for each other.  
How many hours had Hakuryuu put into thinking about how the future wedding ring of his loved one should look like? This was something for all eternity! So it had to look good, represented his feelings, wasn’t too flashy or too plain. Hard work! And so much stress combined with self-doubt and self-hate, tears included, that one could wonder, if all this was worth it. For him it was. During this time Hakuryuu had learned a lot about himself and therefore also about what was important to him, what he needed and wanted in a relationship and what marriage meant for him – he had known it before, but he had never actively and consciously thought about it. Maybe it was better for him to stop thinking – overthinking – from time to time? A lot would be so much easier! But was easier always better? Under normal circumstances Hakuryuu would now think about it, however now he did not, because he thought about all the effort he had put into creating his future husband’s wedding ring. Although they had agreed to not take a look at the other one’s “surprise ring” as Kougyoku’s child called the rings before the wedding, they both had done so anyway. It was only natural and logical, since they wanted the rings to match each other, despite being different. They had just made sure that one could still identify the rings as wedding rings and that they belonged together – and both of them were very curious. In a few more hours he was able to look at his “surprise ring” for the rest of his life – hopefully it was a long life.

All his thinking and running up and down in the room was interrupted by someone, who seemingly never heard of something called manners. Without knocking Kougyoku entered the room, her daughter right behind her, looking very stressed and exhausted. She had taken it upon herself to ensure that his wedding was perfect. According to her, Hakuryuu and Judar had more important stuff to handle on their wedding day than to take care of the organization. Also it would only stress the two and therefore they wouldn’t be able to fully enjoy the day. Furthermore, Hakuryuu and Judar had done the same for her on her wedding day – alright, Hakuryuu had, Judar had just followed him around. Of course, for Hakuryuu this had been something totally different! 

At first both stared at each other in silence, while Kougyoku’s daughter was checking the room in search for the “wedding dress”. Her mommy had had one and it was so beautiful, either Hakuryuu or Judar also had one and she needed to see if it was as beautiful as her mother’s. Probably not. Sadly she couldn’t find what she was searching for, which was commented with a disappointed and disapproving mutter. The two adults ignored her.  
“Is something wrong, Kougyoku?”, Hakuryuu asked with a worried undertone in his calm voice.   
Did something happened that could endanger the wedding? Or did she need more servants to help her with the preparations?  
“Is something wrong?”, Kougyoku repeated, looking as if Hakuryuu had just told her that the wedding was cancelled. “That’s what I want to know! Is something wrong? Why aren’t you changed yet? Did Judar and you broke up?”  
She sounded a bit hysterical.  
“No, we have not. Well, at least I haven’t broken up with Judar.”  
But what if Judar didn’t want to marry him anymore? In this case Judar had said something, right? Judar had been the one, who had proposed and who couldn’t wait for the wedding – it had been Hakuryuu, who had asked for more time before the marriage. Judar wouldn’t suddenly break up! And even if, Judar had said so sooner! Yes, Hakuryuu started to panic.   
“Then why are neither of you are changed already? What are you waiting for? I have planned everything. I won’t accept any delay!”  
“So, Judar said nothing about breaking up or not wanting to marry me anymore?”  
“No, but he is sitting in his room eating peaches as if this was all none of his business. And isn’t ready as well. You should know how long it takes to get changed and that it can’t be done in mere minutes. So why aren’t you changed yet?”  
Judar eating peaches was a good enough reason for him to stay in his normal clothes. Just thinking that he made his wedding clothes dirty made Hakuryuu feel uncomfortable.  
“Because I don’t want to make the clothes dirty or sweaty. I don’t have any words to describe how nervous I am. There are still some hours left until the ceremony, so there is no reason to panic yet”, Hakuryuu explained himself to his older sister.  
“Two hours. The wedding starts in two hours”, Kougyoku stated with such a neutral tone that it could scare one.  
“You know that this isn’t much time to get changed, do your hair and putting on makeup.”  
Alright, it was time panic! By now Hakuryuu was a professional at panicking!  
“Then… Then… Then I will get ready now and you go and help Judar! He will need all the help he can get! We will be ready in less than two hours! And everything will be fine!”  
“Understood! I will send you some servants to help you. Sweetie, we are going”, Kougyoku said in a firm voice and was almost out of the room, when her daughter told her she wanted to stay with uncle Hakuryuu and help him with getting “pretty”. Kougyoku didn’t mind and Hakuryuu was too busy with not losing his head to say anything against his niece staying. 

The wedding was split into two parts. The first was the ceremony in itself. Only a handful of people were allowed to attend this part. Those people were Kougyoku, her daughter, her two personal servants, Ka Koubun – although no one knew why he was allowed there, since neither Hakuryuu nor Judar liked or trusted him – and three people of Judar’s home village. The second part was the celebration to which not only the kings and queens of the other countries were invited, but also the whole Kou Empire. Today was supposed to be the happiest day in Hakuryuu’s and Judar’s life, so why not share their happiness with everyone?  
On the other hand, Hakuryuu was so “petty” and forbid everyone else in the Empire to marry on the same day as Judar and him for all eternity. Everything had been taken away from him once, so he now tried to keep as many things as possible to himself – even if it was just a day. Both Judar and Kougyoku had laughed about his announcement, but hadn’t said anything against it. Kougyoku thought it was cute. Judar probably thought it was cheesy.

Of course, after two hours no one was ready. Luckily, Kougyoku had lied about the time. The fact that Hakuryuu almost had a heart attack, when he realized that he wouldn’t be ready on time, was ignored. According to his sister it was his own fault. In the end he hadn’t died and this was all that mattered.  
The biggest problem they had was to get Judar to wear shoes and to make his hair, which was due to Judar being overprotective over his hair. Besides Hakuryuu no one was allowed to touch his hair and the black-haired Magi himself had no clue how to do his hair. However, an enraged Kougyoku was very convincing.

*

Standing right next to Judar in front of the altar was definitely the best thing that happened to him in the past years. Hakuryuu knew that Judar didn’t understand, why this ceremony, this symbolism was so important to him, but kept silent. Without any complains Judar endured the whole procedure. It seemed like he was “sleeping” through until it was time to exchange the rings. A smirk, which was a bit scary, formed itself on his lips. Others may have been scared by it, but Hakuryuu knew what it truly meant. Judar was proud of the ring he had made for Hakuryuu and now he finally could show it to the world. Hakuryuu was really nervous. He must have looked like an idiot, while watching Judar putting the wedding ring on his finger. It was so beautiful! The cold feeling on his finger was great, it had something surreal to it. There were no words to describe what he felt and thought. All Hakuryuu could say for sure was that it felt right! Tenderly he stroke over the ring. His wedding ring! The ring Judar had made for him!   
When it was Hakuryuu’s turn to put the wedding ring on Judar’s finger, he almost missed. His hands were trembling like a leaf, thus it took quite some time until the ring was on Judar’s finger. In the end all that matter was that he succeeded and that they were finally wed!  
Slowly Judar leaned forward, his hands Hakuryuu’s upper arms, to give his newly wed husband a kiss. Out of reflex Hakuryuu hold onto Judar, as if he feared to fall over. Somehow Hakuryuu had expected Judar to be more boisterous. However, thinking about it more carefully, Judar had always been very cautious and tender with Hakuryuu, when he wanted a kiss. Yes, the black-haired Magi was carefree most of the time and wasn’t really good at reading the atmosphere and wasn’t good with words or feeling, yet every time he approached Hakuryuu for a kiss, a hug or any other intimacy he did it carefully. As if he was afraid to scare Hakuryuu away in case he didn’t do so. But was it really that strange? Probably not. Hakuryuu just had been a bit dense in this regard until now. Judar had been there, when Arba had forcefully kissed Hakuryuu. Judar knew about all the physical violence Hakuryuu had to endure in his life. Judar knew about his husband’s self-hate, self- doubt and traumata. Judar knew it all and all he wanted was to make Hakuryuu happy. He didn’t want Hakuryuu to fear his touches or kisses. So he thought, if he approached his husband slowly Hakuryuu could back away in case it was too much or caused discomfort. Hakuryuu should not associate anything bad with his touches, kisses, hugs and other intimacies.  
When Hakuryuu realized how much thought Judar had put into his behavior, when he realized how deeply Judar cared and loved him, he was not able to hold his tears back anymore. No words could describe how wonderful it felt to know that one was loved so much.


	20. Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20\. One Shot (Hakuryuu/fem!OC): Hakuryuu has to make a difficult decision. His wife is not much of a help with her more or less desinterested attitude towards the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not forget to write a review. This kind of feedback is important for an author. Thank you.

The millionth sigh left Hakuryuu’s mouth. Lately the war meetings turned into a “What if” discussion without any conclusion. Theoretically everything was possible, so why bother with even the most unlikely scenario? This wasn’t the first time that the Kou Empire was in a tough situation, they had faced many crisis before, however this time the old generals and strategists panicked. And they were divided, since some wanted to use a more aggressive approach, while others wanted to maintain the more reluctant approach. Hakuryuu had to admit that he was at loose. He was unsure what to do. The current situation was new for all of them. No, war was not new, but a civil war was different than one against another country. Killing those, who once were one’s comrade, was not nothing that could be done so easily – and all of this because of the witch. Hakuryuu was sure that his mother was behind the civil war like she had been behind the murder of his father and his brothers and uncle. He wasn’t arrogant enough to think she was after him now, for that he was not strong enough, not enough of a threat to her and her plans, but a war was according to her plan. She loves creating suffering. What was she after? No one knew. Well, barely anyone even knew that she was not the kind and loving person she had pretended to be, so many did not think about this matter at all. Hakuryuu also had no intention of telling them, because they would probably not believe it and it did not matter anyway. At the moment the witch was gone, but for how long and when she would return was unknown. Yes, he had killed his mother, but seemingly simply killing her was not enough to get rid of her. Although he had no confirmation, he was sure she had run to the usurper’s side. She probably had haven stirred up this conflict, so that a civil war was created. Of course, this was not her fault alone. She may have influenced the other party, but the other party had decided to follow, to believe her and act out. Now they had a war and Hakuryuu had no intention of losing, however this also meant that he had to stop being so nice to them. The soldiers, who died on the battlefield, were not at fault, they did what they thought was right and who knew what they had been told. On the other hand, a war was not won by doing nothing. If he wanted to win, he had to order his soldiers to fight their former comrades, which was a bit of a problem until now. Maybe it was, because he had problems with this thought and his people felt his uncertainty and reservations. Not a good attitude for a ruler in this kind of situation. He had to be strong for his people, but instead he was weak. Because of this there even was this dispute between the generals and strategists, if he gave an order all of this could be solved, but he was unsure what to do and therefore gave no orders – or at least none that gave his people a concrete direction.  
“What if we take a break for now and discuss our further actions afterwards”, Hakuryuu said and stood up from his chair.  
He was exhausted and in the past two hours they hadn’t talked about anything new, only repeated the same old arguments over and over again. Without waiting for a reaction he left the room and walked towards his bureau. His father often had taken a small stroll around, when he needed to make a difficult decision, because it helped him to think of new possibilities or outcomes. As child it had scared him, when he met his father in the hallways and greeted him, but instead of being greeted back faced a man, who had no expression and did not even seem to realize where he was. Hakuryuu had thought that his father may be controlled by someone and this thought scared him. Also he had feared his father may get hurt, since he seemed not to pay attention to his surroundings. Hakuryuu didn’t know how many times he had bumped into someone, because he hadn’t paid attention, but somehow his father had never run into another person. One could only wish for such an ability. On the contrary it may be better to simply pay attention, instead of wishing for luck.

Near his bureau was an open area. There one could sit or even work, in case it was quiet enough, outside. Since this place was roofed, it could also be used when it rained or in the winter. Sometimes he ate lunch there with his wife, who had her bureau in the same area, only a few doors away from his office. It was nice to have her near him and she also enjoyed visiting him during work to start a conversation about something trivial. A nice conversation about something trivial was exactly what he needed now, but it would be better if he focused on the problem at hand. Unfortunately neither his wife nor a nice conversation with her would end his problems – but it could make it easier for him to bear with them.  
Luckily his wife was indeed at the mentioned area, sitting at the table, eating a lot of sweets and looking depressed. Whenever she was in a bad mood, Hakuryuu felt like it was his fault. He knew how much she had given up for him and so in return he wanted her to be happy all the time, which of course was not the case and also impossible to achieve. Being sad, angry or unwell was normal and happened to everyone once in a while, sometimes without another person being responsible for it. Still, Hakuryuu thought he was responsible, he always thought he was responsible for everything. For a long time he had blamed himself for the murder of his older brothers and his father – fortunately his wife had made him realize how ridiculous this was. There was still a long way ahead of him until he was free of all his unnecessary guilt, but he already had made the first step.  
When he approached his wife, she only looked at him without saying a word or appearing happy to see him, which was quite unusual for her. Normally she always had a smile saved for him, whenever they saw each other – the only exception was when they had a dispute before. As far as he knew they hadn’t had a dispute, so he was a bit confused about her behavior. Maybe someone said something mean about her – well, probably about someone, who was dear to her. When she got insulted she often did not react to it, however when one of her loved ones got insulted, she could commit murder right on the post. She was not as calm and level-headed as she often appeared. So she also could be very emotional, which she thought was embarrassing. Hakuryuu had no problems with that, since he himself could be very emotional, although he had become calmer over the years. Yet his feelings sometimes still got the best of him, which he thought was embarrassing. As emperor he should always be calm and collected.  
“Hello, my dear. How are you?”, Hakuryuu greeted his wife with a smile, hoping she would return it.  
Maybe she was just too tired to smile right now?  
“Hello”, she greeted back.  
Her voice was quite soft. It seemed like she didn’t want to speak at the moment.  
“Are you tired? If so, then you should take a nap, there is no reason to stay up, when you’re sleepy.”  
If there was an important matter she had to take care of, he would understand that she was keeping herself from going to bed, but since she was sitting her and eating it appeared as if this was not the case.  
“No, sleeping is boring. Don’t want to.”  
Hakuryuu had sat down next to her, if he hadn’t done so before, he would have probably fallen over by her response. She didn’t want to sleep because it was boring? Since when? Wasn’t she the one, who could sleep everywhere and at any given time? Wasn’t she the one, who always explained how great their bed was and how she loved sleeping and napping? And now it suddenly was boring? No! Something must have happen to her! Something extremely horrible!  
“What? What are you talking about? Since when do you think like that? What happened?”  
Hakuryuu was very worried about her and her well-being. Tenderly he took her hand in one of his and wrapped his other arm around her. She loved hugging. Well, she seemed to like to have body contact with him in general – he enjoyed it as well.  
“Nothing. Just woke up this morning and everything was stupid. So, I tried to fall asleep again, but failed and then I wanted to eat, but I am not hungry, so I decided to eat some snakes. I am bored.”  
Gently Hakuryuu placed a kiss on her forehead and said: “Well, if you are bored, then we have to do something against it. What would you like to do?”  
“Sleeping.”  
Great answer. Hadn’t she just said that sleeping was boring and didn’t want to do it and now she wanted it? Had he misheard?  
“But didn’t you just said that you do not want to sleep, because it is boring?”, Hakuryuu asked to clarify this matter.  
“Yes, I did. I don’t know myself. A part of me wants to sleep and the other part don’t want to, but also does not have any idea what to do instead. I am really conflicted here”, she admitted and placed her head on her husband’s shoulder, “By the way, why are you here? Shouldn’t you be in a war meeting with those boring idiots?”  
She never had a positive word for his people. Often he wondered, why she disliked the people in the palace so much, but maybe it was not a normal disliking and more a “they annoy me and keep you away from me with their unimportant nonsense, so I have nothing positive to say about them”-dislike. It wouldn’t be a surprise. Or she really just hated all of them, because they were stupid. She often had a different definition of words than others, which had caused a few misunderstandings in the past.  
“I should, but I took a break. We were only repeating the same things over and over again. Maybe after the break, we will have new ideas how to handle the current situation.”  
And Hakuryuu sighed again. Had he ever sighed so much in one day? Probably not.  
“And why should they suddenly come up with something new, during a what? 10 minutes break?”  
She wasn’t wrong. For the past months they had discussed how to proceed further and hadn’t find a satisfying conclusion and he had decided for a break, because they had no new ideas.  
“One never knows. Well, they probably still discussing what to do instead of sitting down and thinking about a new approach.”  
Another sigh.  
“It should be you, who tells them what to do. They not used to think for themselves or to make decisions. If they only repeat themselves then it’s because they’re at the end with their thinking capacity. Thinking more complex or solution orientated is not their strong point. You need to be the creative one here. Also it is not that hard to decide what to do next. It’s not the first time this Empire has a war going on. Shouldn’t you all be experts already?”  
Again she wasn’t wrong. The emperor hold all the power, however he was not the only one, who could make decisions. It also was impossible for one person to take care of everything, so there were other people that could make decisions like the generals. As emperor he could not be everywhere on the battlefield, so the generals had to decide for themselves what to do and they did. However, whenever he was around everyone expected him to make the decisions, what he could understand since he was the most powerful person and his words were law. In case a general made a decision it could still be revoked by someone, who had a higher position like the emperor, but there was no one, who had a higher position then the ruler of the country. For him this meant that he could not pass the decision-making to someone else. Well, he could do it, but only in private matters, when he passed it towards his wife, who often just throw it back at him, because she was too lazy to decide anything – she could not even decide whether she wanted to sleep or not right now.  
“It’s the first time that we have to deal with a civil war. Those, who attack us are our own people. They are citizen of Kou and our comrades”, he tried to explain the problem to her, yet he had the feeling that she already knew that, but simply did not care.  
“So what? Those who attack us do not care about their former comrades, they are willing to kill us. So why should we not do the same? For them we are not comrades anymore, we are their enemies. And the enemy will be killed. It is that easy. Why are you so hesitant? Do you want your people, those who are loyal to you, to die? They believe in you and are fighting for you, so they are ready to die for you. And you? You just sit around hoping for a solution to poop out of nowhere. That’s mean.”  
She said it in such a nonchalance voice that it was almost scary. From a logical point of view she was right. However, it was not so easy to throw away one’s feelings. How did his soldiers feel about the current situation? They were probably not satisfied with his hesitant approach in this matter. Would they be really ready to kill their former friends, allies and comrades? Did they really believe in him so much? Did they really believe he was in the right? And what was with the families of those, who now opposed him? How did they feel about this situation? And how should he handle them later on? So many questions and no answers. Maybe it was better to not think so much and just act.  
“You should send them all straight to hell! Those bastards do not deserve mercy. They deserve death! How dare they to oppose us and kill their friends and comrades, who had been willing to protect them with their lives! They are the worst! If I were you, I would send my soldiers out to destroy this trash and bring peace to the country. You’ve tried to talk with them and find a peaceful solution, but they rejected you and instead followed the witch’s words. Your kindness is just wasted with them.”  
“I always thought you were against war.”  
Hakuryuu was confused and astonished. Of course he knew his wife had no problem with violence in itself – which may be a bit strange since war was nothing else besides violence -, but hated war and therefore also hated soldiers.  
“I am, but I am all for killing bastards! Seriously, it’s them or us and I actually have no intention of dying, so I would prefer it, when we could stop them. By the way, we already have war. I am just suggesting how to end it.”  
How to end this war, was the huge question he tried to answer. There were only two option, either Hakuryuu’s side won or they lost. And losing meant dying. No one wanted to die! However, fighting back would mean fighting against your own people and Hakuryuu was not ready to do so. The question was just, did it matter what he was ready to do or not? He wasn’t ready to die either.  
“Stop trying to search for a nice way out. No matter what decision you make in the end, it will never be the right one. Ask yourself with what decision you can live with and what decision you can justify. Don’t worry about me, I will be by your side no matter what. But don’t forget that no one here wants to die and they will leave you, when you are about to lose. A war cannot be won by being nice and doing nothing.”  
When he decided to hold back like until now all the deaths, all the sacrifices made by his soldiers and his people would be in vain. One could ask why he even had started the civil war and hadn’t given up right at the beginning, when no one had died. The more he thought about it, fighting back was the only option for them.

Send them straight down to hell, she had said. But this was not possible. There was not straight path to hell or heaven – the path to hell was paved with good intention, they said. What one thought was right could actually be wrong and vice versa. They all could only try to do the right thing and hope to be rewarded later on. No matter what decision he would make, it would not change the fact that people had died and even more would die in the future. Even when he decided to fight back more aggressively, his people could still lose. There was no guarantee for them to win. But there was a guarantee that they would lose and die, when they stayed as passive as they were until now.  
In the end no matter what decision he would make, it would be the right and the wrong decision at the same time. It was as his wife had said, he had to make the decision he could live with.

“Hakuryuu!”, a female voice shouted.  
Hakuryuu and his wife turned around to see, who called for him. It was Kougyoku, Hakuryuu’s older cousin and one of the generals.  
“Hakuryuu, are you coming back? Everyone is waiting for you. I think they got a new idea, what to do next or they got tired of that stupid dispute and want a final decision from you”, she sounded worried.  
She also knew how conflicted Hakuryuu was and how hard it was to make a decision. Kougyoku was one for those, who wanted to stay passive, because she did not want to fight her own people, but she also didn’t want her comrades to die, because she did nothing. She was also very conflicted and troubled by the current situation.  
Hakuryuu sighed again, gave his wife another kiss on her forehead and then stood up.  
“Sorry, I have to leave for now. I’ll be back soon and then we will do something fun together. Promised!”  
“No problem. I will be waiting here, on his bench, eating my sweets that I stole from the kitchen and taste like a strange mix between strawberry cupcakes and honey sirup. Well, if I am not here, when you come back, I am probably in my bed, sleeping. Then don’t wake me up.”  
With a smile he left her and approached Kougyoku, who waved at his wife for a greeting. Those two got along very well, but barely had time for each other, because of the war. As general Kougyoku often was out on the battlefield and when she was at home, she was busy with war meetings. Hopefully this would change soon and they all could have a nice dinner together like they used to have before the civil war started.


	21. Organized mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 21\. One Shot (Judar, Hakuryuu (hinted JuHaku): Judar watches Hakuryuu rearranging his desk.

“What are you doing”, Judar asked his chosen king with a skeptical gaze and a raised brow.  
It was nothing new to see Hakuryuu reorganizing his desk, but one could overdo it.   
“I am organizing my desk”, Hakuryuu stated the obvious.   
“Well, I can see that. But why? You just put your stuff from A to B and back again.”  
Judar was confused. It wasn’t like Hakuryuu placed his stuff somewhere else to have a better look at his desk or to make room for him and all his paperwork. No, he was just placing the same things from A to B and back again, as if this would change something. If he would clean his desk at the same time, Judar wouldn’t be so confused, but since Hakuryuu was not, it was strange. Although it was not the first time Judar saw Hakuryuu acting like that.   
“I am just organizing my desk, right”, Hakuryuu repeated himself annoyed.   
“Alright.”  
One lesson Judar had learn over the time was to not argue with an angry or annoyed Hakuryuu. In the end it would just be Judar’s loose. And Judar hated losing! Only weaklings lost! Without saying more Judar sat down on the sofa next to his king’s desk and watched the latter one doing whatever he was doing. In a strange way it had something calming to watch Hakuryuu focusing on his reorganization of stuff. Maybe because Hakuryuu was extremely calm about it and it was very monotonous. Whenever he watched Hakuryuu, Judar started to think about the time they had spent together and it made him smile, also it reminded him that his kind had some very cute, but also very strange, habits. One of those was his tendency to over organize things. His working place, for example his desk, had to be clean and neat. With one look around one could find anything one needed. However, when one wanted to search a specific document Hakuryuu had worked on, things got more difficult. In one of the many tall shelves Hakuryuu ordered his documents and scrolls, which were necessary for a smoothly working process. This may sound normal and one could wonder where the problem lied, the problem was the way all this writs were organized. Sometimes Hakuryuu kept it simple and just ordered them in the way he had finished them. Other times they were ordered by their names or by their affiliation. And then there were those, which were ordered by date and those, which were ordered by a parameter unknown to everyone but Hakuryuu. Judar laughed every time, when one of the servants tried to convince his king to change the organization and make it easier. A normal person would feel sorry for the servants and every other person, who had to deal with Hakuryuu’s system, but Judar found it funny – at least as long as he himself hadn’t had to deal with it.  
For Hakuryuu, on the other hand, everything was clear and easy to understand. One only had to use the thing inside one’s head called a brain. Unfortunately, some seemed not to possess one or were too lazy to use it. There was a logical structure behind his system and one only had to know, what one was searching for. There was a pile with documents that were of minor importance and therefore were ordered by the date he had worked on them. Often those documents were internal affairs and a servant brought them to the relevant departments twice a day. So, there was no need to search there, because whoever needed the documents would get them soon anyway. For the other things one only had to know what kind of document one was searching for – for example if it was something about agriculture, one had to look for this section and then go by the date it was written, in case one was searching for information material, or by the date it was requested, in case one was searching for a request regarding agriculture of the Empire. Way was it so hard for almost everyone else to understand this system? Whenever he searched for something he found it with ease. So why were the servants making such a fuss? Maybe it was because it wasn’t so obvious what document belonged in which category all the time and Hakuryuu had too many compartments and subcases and one could also over organizes things. What sounded logical and easy in theory didn’t have to be logical, easy or practical in praxis. Judar had tried to explain it to Hakuryuu many times, but without any positive results. In the end he had given up, because it didn’t bother him at all – also Hakuryuu needed his structure or else he would feel uneasy. As Magi Judar had other duties to fulfill and luckily hadn’t had to do much paperwork. Reading and writing weren’t his favorite activities and he sucked at both. And let’s be honest, it was quite fun to watch the servants despair, when looking for documents.

What Judar fascinated the most about his friend’s habit or organizing, was the simple fact that Hakuryuu often did it, because it felt like his stuff had been rearranged without his permission. Yes, Hakuryuu was placing his office supplies from A to B and back again, because it felt like some of them had been put on a different place, while he hadn’t been around.   
“Does it not make you uncomfortable, when you have the feeling someone has touched your stuff and placed it somewhere else, without you knowing”, Hakuryuu had asked him in a serious tone, when Judar wanted to know, why Hakuryuu was acting upon a mere feeling. Judar hadn’t given an answer back then. Of course, he disliked it when other people touched his things or even dared to put them in a different place, but it wasn’t like this had actually happened to any of the office supplies. So why bother?  
For some time Judar had feared Hakuryuu might be sick, thus forgetting where he had put his own stuff, which led to him feeling uncomfortable, because he could not remember where he had placed his stuff. His king was too young to be so forgetful! However, when secretly making a few tests, Hakuryuu always could remember everything. That guy even remembered those very embarrassing things from their childhood, which Judar tried to forget ever since. Because of that Judar had decided to simply accept this strange behavior and not to question his king about it anymore. Maybe there even was a logical explanation and reasoning behind it all and he just failed to see it. If Hakuryuu needed all this organization and structure, then he should have it.   
That Hakuryuu was a very serious and organized person was nothing new to Judar or anyone in the palace. He had a strict schedule for his days and barely made anything, which was not incorporated in his plans, which was annoying when one wanted to surprise him or make something spontaneous. Judar was not a person, who planned his whole day and all his activities, hence he was a more spontaneous person, which collided with his king’s way of doing things. However, they had found a solution, which satisfied both of them. Judar was allowed to leave his stuff lying around and Hakuryuu was allowed to have his organizing system. And every day there was one or two hours in which Hakuryuu had planned nothing and was free for whatever Judar wanted to do. Furthermore, Judar had promised not to create chaos in his king’s bedroom – Judar disliked how plain Hakuryuu’s room was and had tried to make it more “lively”. Much to the latter one’s dislike. Compared to Judar’s room, which was chaotic, because of all clothes on the floor, books, which he only read since he had teamed up with Hakuryuu, and toys, which were still from his childhood, but he never had bothered to put them away, Hakuryuu’s room was extremely tidy. It was even more than that. Besides the normal interior furnishing Hakuryuu had nothing special in this room. The wardrobe was filled with a few clothes and a few books on the shelves, most of the books were stored in the libraries. No decorations and no personal things. Due to the size of the room, it appeared even emptier, boring and one could even assume it was a guest room, than it would seem like, if the room hadn’t had so many empty spaces. Hakuryuu may have two wardrobes, but not because he had so many cloths, but because he separated them. One wardrobe was for the formal clothes and one for his training clothes and everyday clothes. Inside the wardrobes the clothes were ordered by color – Judar had problems with that because for him most of the colors looked the same. However, it was not his duty to put the clothes into his king’s wardrobe. Thinking about it, he was really lucky. He only had to deal with Hakuryuu’s dislike of surprise kisses and hugs – ever since the fight against the disgusting witch, in which she kissed Hakuryuu, her own son, the latter one had a huge problem with unpermitted kisses, hugs or any other intimacies.

“Finished”, Hakuryuu exclaimed with an exhausted expression and sat down on his chair.   
Judar was brought back to reality by his king’s words. When watching the other one working, he often started spacing out until someone brought him back.  
With a curious gaze Judar looked at Hakuryuu’s newly arranged desk. As expected it looked just like before. Everything was at the same spot as it had been in the morning, as it had been yesterday evening. Formerly Judar had pointed out this fact, but now he was smarter and kept this information to himself. Why stating an argument, which would lead to nowhere? Nothing would be gained from it anyway. Instead Judar focused more on the aspect that the table was now clean – like it always was. This was his way of trying to praise someone without making it sound like mocking.   
“And what now?”, Judar asked without even being sure why he asked this question.   
Maybe because he wanted to say something or because he expected Hakuryuu to tell him that today they would take a day off.   
“Now I will start with my work and you should do so too. There is a lot to do.”  
Of course, as if there was nothing else besides work. Judar rolled his eyes.  
“How about we go and have breakfast first? I am starving.”  
“We just had breakfast a moment ago.”  
True, Hakuryuu and Judar ate breakfast together and it took quite some time until they were finished, because Judar wanted to taste everything his king had cooked in the morning. Whenever Hakuryuu had cooked something Judar wanted to be the first to taste it – and he would give his opinion. Differently than with other meals, he would take his time with eating it, so he could enjoy this wonderful meals. Although he often only told Hakuryuu that the food tasted “okay” instead of “great”. One could think he might fear that Hakuryuu would get too full of himself and for whatever reason Judar did not like it. Well, actually he feared he wouldn’t get to eat any of the great stuff anymore, when Hakuryuu thought he was already good enough at cooking it. Yes, Judar had some very serious problems and fears. Being a Magi, especially the Magi of Ren Hakuryuu, was quite hard. He needed a break!  
“Um…”, Judar expressed his dislike and shifted from one foot to the other, “Well, then how about a kiss?”  
Perplexed Hakuryuu faced his friend: “What?”  
A kiss was nothing uncommon between them and as long as it was not a surprise kiss, Hakuryuu did not mind it – at least until now he had never complained. So his confusion was less because of the question and its content, but more because he hadn’t expected it and therefore thought he might have misheard.   
“I want a kiss. You know, that thing were you put your lips on mine. The thing we did just this morning. A kiss.”  
It was quite cute to look at Judar trying to explain what he wanted. He may not turn into a blushing mess, but his voice got softer and he stated to stutter a bit. Normally this was Hakuryuu, when it came to any romantic subject, however Judar could be just like that, whenever he had to repeat himself. He often said things without thinking about it, but when he had to repeat it, he had to think about it and thereby he realized what “embarrassing” stuff he had said. Feelings and romantic stuff were not his strong point and it made him a bit uncomfortable to talk about them. Both of them were like that, just that Hakuryuu was more obvious about it, but also could deal better with it.   
Hakuryuu sighed and kissed Judar, who was surprised, although he had been the one, who had wanted the kiss, since usually they would now have an argument whether this was the right time and place for a kiss. However, they were alone, so there was no reason to not kiss each other. And so Judar enjoyed his king’s lips on his and wished it would last forever.


	22. The past, the present and the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22\. One Shot (Hakuryuu/fem!OC, Hakuyuu, Hakuren, Hakuei, Gyokuen, Hakutoku): Hakuryuu spends an evening with his wife lazying around, while remembering his childhood.

The best days were those on which nothing was going on – not even weather. All he did on such days was lying in his bed together with his wife and rest. When it was sunny outside they would lay down in the garden and when it was cold, rainy or just not comfortable outside they would stay in bed inside. Sometimes they would talk all day long and sometimes they would not even utter a single word. Hakuryuu loved to watch his wife, while she was enjoying herself with various activities like reading, sleeping or daydreaming. On other free days it was her, who observed him, while he was sleeping, daydreaming, organizing the room – she would only help when it was about rearranging the furnishings, since most of the time it was also her idea to do so – or when they were outside she watched him watering the plants – or whatever he had in store for those “poor things”, as she worded it. She would make compliments to the flowers and compare their beauty to Hakuryuu, what caused him to blush. He wished he was as good and smooth at making compliments as her. Sadly, every time he tried to make one, he failed horribly. Either he started to stutter, bit his tongue, forgot his words or even lacked the right ones to say what he wanted. Luckily, at least he managed to tell her how much he loved her. Better than nothing. Although he wished he could give her more than a simple “I love you” – say it in different ways. Seemingly she didn’t mind it at all and thought it was cute. He trying to express his love for her was what matter to her. Knowing that he loved her was the most important! By the by, the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. In this case it was the way to a woman’s heart and there was nothing that could please her stomach more than Hakuryuu’s meals!

Besides their days off, they often spent the evening together, which wasn’t unusual, but it also wasn’t seldom for Hakuryuu to work until midnight. After dinner they normally already prepared for bed. Usually Hakuryuu would do nothing special, while his wife was reading. He had the suspicion that she wasn’t really reading, it was more looking at the pages and dreaming her own story. Hakuryuu didn’t read much in his free time, because he already had to read so much at work that he was happy, when he could just let his thoughts wander around. Although sometimes he took one of his wife’s books, simply because he was interested to know what kind of stories she liked. She had many different interests.  
When she was reading she preferred to use him as pillow and he liked it. Her warmth was reassuring and calming. Tenderly he stroke through her long black hair, twisted it around his finger and released it again. Or he drew circles on her forearm, stomach or thighs – depending on how she had positioned herself and hence which places he could reach. Her skin was so soft. He liked it.  
While she was reading he often observed her. Her sudden smiles, her sudden tears, her sudden disapproving grumble, he saw it all and then he took a look at the text she was reading or was pretending to read. Most of the time he couldn’t find an explanation within the text, so he assumed she was dreaming her own stories. More than once he had wondered about her thoughts. What was she thinking and dreaming about all day? Never had he dared to ask. Somehow it felt as if the question was too personal, too deep to even ask one’s spouse. On the other hand, she also never had asked about his thoughts. At least not about those he had, when they were relaxing in bed. At least not about those he had while observing her. If she asked, he wouldn’t have a problem with answering honestly. There were no shameful or embarrassing thoughts going through his head at such times. All he did was thinking about his past, present and future. 

*

Nights could be very frightening, but he was a big boy and therefore he was not afraid at all! Hiding beneath his blanket and waiting for the monsters to leave without hurting him was all he could do. Never would he run to his mother, sister or one of his brothers. His plushy, a stuffed animal that looked like a bear or was supposed to look like one, would protect him. And he was definitely not crying at all or whimpering! No he was a big boy and not afraid of the darkness and its monsters. He was a strong and brave warrior just like his father and brothers. Maybe not as strong as them, but he was brave! That was the reason why he also wasn’t paralyzed by fear when he heard footsteps. Someone was passing through the hallway at such a late hour. Who could it be? There shouldn’t be anyone going through the hallway at this time! Maybe it was an assassin? What should he do? He had to tell his mother! But how? To tell her he needed to leave his room and walk through the hallway. The hallway through which the assassin was passing! What should he do? He also couldn’t scream for help. If he did the assassin would know he was here and kill him before someone could arrive. Or maybe he should just calm down. Maybe it was just a guard making his round and ensuring the safety of the royal family. Yes, this was most likely the case he was just overthinking. Everything was fine! But to be on the save side Hakuryuu decided to hide under his bed. Just in case it wasn’t a guard. One couldn’t be cautious enough. And if it was an assassin he could attack as soon as the other one wasn’t looking or was about to leave. A surprise attack! Yes, he wasn’t scared at all! 

Slowly the door to Hakuryuu’s bedroom was pushed open and someone entered. Heavy footsteps got closer to the bed. Hakuryuu hold his breath and pressed his plushy closer to his chest. Of course he couldn’t see, who it was, but it couldn’t be a guard. A guard would never enter the room of a royal without permission and there was no need for them to do so anyway. So it must be an assassin! Hakuryuu’s heart beat increased. Never before had he been so afraid. But of course he would never admit it, he was brave and he was not crying or afraid. A prince of the great Kou Empire would never cry or hide or run away. Hakuryuu wasn’t crying – he was – or hiding – he was – or running away – he would if he could –, he was just observing the intruder from a safe place, so he could report him later on or make a surprise attack.  
The unknown person came to a hold in front of the bed, so Hakuryuu only saw their shoes and a bit of their robes. Somehow they looked familiar. An assassin wouldn’t wear such fine shoes and clothes, right? Wouldn’t they wear something less colorful and heavy looking? Hakuryuu wasn’t sure, since he had never met an assassin, but he knew they were people, who killed others in the dark and from behind – they were cowards!  
“Hakuryuu?”, a familiar voice asked.  
Hakuryuu froze for a second. This voice belonged to his father, he was sure of that.  
“Father?”, Hakuryuu replied hesitantly with a low voice.  
“Where are you, Hakuryuu?”  
“Here.”  
Very slowly Hakuryuu made his way out from under the bed, while his father took a few steps back in search of his youngest son, who was not in his bed as he should be. When Hakutoku saw how Hakuryuu came out from under the bed he bend down to help his son.  
“Why were you under the bed?”  
“Because I was scared.”  
“Scared of what?”  
Hakuryuu did not answer. He felt ashamed to admit he thought his father might be an assassin. It was embarrassing enough to admit he had been scared.  
“There is no reason to be scared anymore. I am here and I can assure you that everything is fine in the palace. I was just looking after you. It really scared me, when I couldn’t find you in your bed.”  
Hakutoku had sat down on Hakuryuu’s bed and had put his son on his lap. Hakuryuu on the other hand was holding on to his father’s robes and had no intention of letting go soon. Although nothing bad had happened, he still felt uneasy.  
Tenderly Hakutoku tighten his grip around Hakuryuu. His son was still scared and he knew that words alone would not change this, so he decided to stay silent and let his son calm down. Of course he still wanted to know what his son was scared of, but why bother Hakuryuu with question when the reason could be a simple nightmare. Hakuryuu was old enough to know what a nightmare was and that such dreams were only dreams and therefore not reality, so he probably would relax as soon as he realized that the nightmare was over. 

It took Hakuryuu some time until he finally felt asleep in his father’s arms, but it happened. Softly Hakutoku put his son back into bed and stayed a few minutes until he left the room. There were are few more children he had to look after as well. Hopefully those were sound asleep in their beds.

*

Hakuryuu cherished the few memories he had of his father very much. Unfortunately this memories were so few that he sometimes had to remind himself that he had memories of his father and that his father was not the cold-hearted man most people thought Hakutoku had been. As emperor one could not be emotional, one had to level-headed and this often lead to someone appearing as cold-hearted.  
Whenever he remembers his father holding him, he started to dream about the future. A future in which he had a wonderful wife and a child with her. He dreamed about a future in which he would also hold his child at night and cast away its fears.  
For the moment he may not have arrived at such a future, but he had a wonderful wife at his side and for now he would cast away her fears, be it at night or day. He hold her tight to himself and she did not mind at all. On the contrary she even tried to get closer to him, which was almost impossible. While she was focused on the story she read, he started to draw circles with his index finger on her skin.

*

Playing with Hakuren was a lot of fun, but it was also very rough and not uncommonly one got hurt. Hakuryuu did not mind, at least as long as he wasn’t hurt. Hakuyuu always warned them when he saw his two younger brothers playing with each other that they should be careful and especially Hakuren should watch after Hakuryuu. Of course, Hakuren said he would be careful, but in the end Hakuryuu still got hurt. It was easy to make the little boy cry and everyone knew this. Running around, hiding from his brother and then sneak attack him, fighting against his older brother with a play sword and winning was too much fun. Who cared about bruises? Hakuryuu didn’t, at least before he got hurt. Hakuren, on the other hand, loved to enjoy his little siblings and he loved Hakuryuu’s smile. Everyone loved Hakuryuu’s smile.

Normally Hakuren and Hakuryuu started their playing with hide and seek, which would turn into playing tag and end in a sword fight. Of course, Hakuren lost on purpose to boost his little brother’s confidence and it worked. When those two played Hakuyuu often just stood at the side and watched them, sometimes he would remind Hakuren to be careful, fully knowing it was in vain. Hakuei also watched her brothers whenever she had time. Not that Hakuyuu and Hakuren had so much free time, but it was easier for them to get away with excuses. Honestly, it wasn’t much of an entertainment to watch others playing, however from time to time it was nice. And she used this time to talk to her oldest brother. There were also other times when she could do that, but for whatever reason she preferred to talk to him, while watching her other two brother playing with each other. Maybe because in that way she could spent time with all of them.  
Right now Hakuryuu and Hakuren were playing sword. Hakuren chased after his younger brother, who found this was very funny and entertaining, so it seemed more like a game of tag until Hakuryuu decided to make his move and attack Hakuren. A surprise attack was nothing uncommon and Hakuryuu was not so secretive about it, so Hakuren had all the time in the world to stop him, but did not. The young boy had tried his best to prepare the surprise attack, so why making him fail? This would only dishearten him. Hakuei could only laugh about the scene in front of her. For an outsider it looked quite funny, how Hakuren, who was so much taller than Hakuryuu, tried to run away or avoid his little brother’s attacks. Hakuren always had to look down or else he couldn’t even see where his attacker was. Hakuryuu on the other hand had a very serious look on his face. He was determined to defeat his big brother! Whenever his two older brothers trained with each other, he watched them and tried to remember their moves, so he could use them in his fights against Hakuren. One day he wanted to be as strong as those two and therefor he had to watch them closely. However, he was still a little bit too young for his own fighting lessons and a bit too young to understand tactics, so most of the time he was just running around to avoid Hakuren’s attacks. Parry was still too difficult for him and it wouldn’t do much anyway, although Hakuren never used a lot of strength against him.

The play had been harmless until now, Hakuryuu have fallen to the ground a few times, because he stumbled over his own feet, but he never hurt himself to bad. But as things often goes, this changed suddenly, when Hakuryuu for once tried to counter one of Hakuren’s attacks. When doing so it did not go as planned and Hakuryuu was hit by his brother’s wooden sword, which was quite hurtful even when Hakuren didn’t use much strength. The shock from being hit paralyzed him first, but soon after he started to feel the pain, which caused him to cry. Hakuyuu was angry at Hakuren for not being careful enough, but instead of scolding him he sent Hakuei to get something for cooling. Maybe they should also sent Hakuryuu to a doctor later, but this was probably a bit too much. Meanwhile Hakuren had bend down and took a look at Hakuryuu to see whether the younger one was bleeding – one could never know even with a wooden sword. Of course Hakuren was repeatedly apologizing. Everyone knew it hadn’t been his intention to hurt Hakuryuu and he had probably expected the other one to dodge the attack by running away as usual, so no one was blaming him.  
“I am so sorry, Hakuryuu. I didn’t want to hurt you”, Hakuren sat down on the ground and put Hakuryuu on his lap and tried to cheer him up, “See, you’re not bleeding, so everything is fine. Hakuei gets something to lessen the pain.”  
Hakuryuu, however, was not really listening. He was in pain! When he was put on his brother’s lap, he immediately griped Hakuren’s clothes and pressed his face in them. Hakuren softly stroke over his back to calm him down without success. Hakuyuu also had reach his brothers and had bend down. Softly he stroke over Hakuryuu’s head to get his attention. It was not a secret that Hakuryuu adored his oldest brother the most and wanted to be like him, thus he often copied him – although it did not really work. Even Gyokuen and sometimes Hakutoku teased their children about their almost identical look – only their personality was completely different.  
“Hakuryuu, tell me where it hurts.”  
When he had been a child, his mother often used a “magical trick” to erase all the pain – of course this did not really happen, but Hakuyuu had been just a child and as such believed everything his parents told him. Maybe this little trick would also help Hakuryuu now. Unfortunately, Hakuyuu could not understand a single word Hakuryuu spoke, because of all the latter one’s sobbing.  
“Show me where it hurts”, Hakuyuu tried again.  
If Hakuryuu could not said where it hurts, because he lacked the word for it or was unsure, he could show it, right? However, as good as this plan sounded, it did not work out. Hakuryuu had to let go of Hakuren to show where it hurt, but he was not very accurate. In the end it hurt everywhere. Still Hakuyuu did not gave up, he could try the trick also when it hurt everywhere – there was no restrictions for this trick. And so he gave his best. To find out whether it worked or not, he decided to try it with Hakuryuu’s left hand first. He took the small hand in one of his and put the other hand above. It was amazing that he also could still remember the “spell” Gyokuen used back then, although all of this had happened so many years ago. It took him a few tries until Hakuryuu was satisfied, but this was just a hand, the rest of his body still hurt. Not as bad as before, but the pain was still there. Hakuren had changed place, while Hakuyuu was busy “healing”. Sitting on the ground was not so comfortable. Hakuei returned shortly after Hakuyuu finished “healing” Hakuryuu’s hand. Besides something to cool Hakuryuu’s wounds – wherever those where – she also had a few sweets with her. Sweets were always a good option to please a child, especially Hakuryuu, who was a little sweet tooth.

In the end, Hakuryuu was pampered by his three older siblings. Sitting on Hakuren’s lap, while Hakuyuu casted the “pain away” spell over and over, Hakuei fed him the sweets and Hakuren draw little circles on his right hand, because otherwise the second prince would feel useless. Hakuryuu’s siblings were the best!

*

Hakuryuu liked to remember his siblings, although it caused him a little pain, since his brothers were both dead. Killed by their own mother. Only Hakuei was still at his side, which was not entirely true, since she also had gotten married and had left the Kou Empire to live in the country of her husband, but she was alive! Maybe because of his siblings, he wished for a big family himself. He wanted to watch his children growing up and caring for each other, just like he grow up with his siblings and cared for them and them caring for him. Whether his wish would come true or not, depended on his wife. Until now he had not talked to her about it and she also had never mentioned anything. However, she didn’t seemed like the person that would like to have children, simply because they meant a lot of work. Maybe he was wrong about it, what he actually hoped, but one would only know the truth, when talking about it – they were still young and had all time in the world for this, so Hakuryuu was not in a hurry. For now he would just draw a few circles on his wife’s arm.

*

Normally the servants would help the royal family members to dress up in the morning. However, since Hakuryuu was very picky and shy, the empress had taken it upon herself, to help him getting ready in the morning. Hakuryuu enjoyed this extra exclusive time with his mother. But for today he wanted to surprise her and decided to do everything without her help. It was still pretty early and his mother was probably busy with preparing herself or her daughter Hakuei for the day. Hakuei was old enough to dress herself, but she preferred it, when her mother made her hair. Since his hair were too short, his mother couldn’t do much with them, but sometimes he asked her to also put some ornament into his hair like she did with Hakuei. Everyone was calling his sister pretty and he wanted to be good-looking too, so he copied his sister. Once he even wore one of her dresses, which looked quite funny, since her clothes were too big for him.

After he woke up, Hakuryuu immediately left the bed – normally he would stay a bit longer and talk with his mother, until she lifted him up – and went to the bathroom. First he needed to wash himself. A small chair was there, on which he could stand to reach the sink. When he finished he went back into his room and opened the closet. Way too many clothes were stored inside and Hakuryuu could barely reach the needed things. Adults shouldn’t be so egoistic! How should he dress himself, when he could not reach the clothes he needed? They really could have thought about this! Well, this obstacle did not stop Hakuryuu from fulfilling his plan. It took some time until he had everything he needed, but this was unimportant as long as he got everything. It was the first time that he dress himself up without any help. When his mother dressed him, he often helped her here and there, but the “difficult” part was done by her. So, he was a bit unsure how to begin. Logically he should start with getting out of his night robes and then change his underwear. Afterwards he would put on his top and then his trouser. Where were his shoes? They were the last thing he would put on, but he could not remember where he had placed them yesterday. Probably it was the best to care about them later, for now he had to change his clothes first, which wasn’t so easy. It nearly took Hakuryuu a whole hour until he was completely dressed. Despite the long time, he looked like a total mess. Nevertheless he was proud of himself and therefore wanted to show his mother that he was now able to dress himself up in the morning – he was a big boy now!  
Gyokuen wasn’t in her and Hakutoku’s room, so Hakuryuu decided to take a look in his sister’s room. When his mother helped his sister with making her hair, she would do it in Hakuei’s room. In this case he also could show Hakuei how grown up he already was. A smile appeared on his face, when he thought about this. Not only his mother, but also his sister would be proud of him! Maybe he also should go to visit his brothers and his father? Well, maybe not, those three were always so busy, they probably had better things to do than to look at him and how he dressed himself up. For now he would only go to his mother and his sister. He could think about his other family members afterwards. They wouldn’t go away anyway.

On his way to Hakuei’s room he met a few servants, who greeted him with a big smile on their face. As naïve as he was, he thought they smile because they were nice and happy people, but actually they smile at him, because he looked so messed up. It was quite hard not to burst out into laughter. They all somehow managed to keep their cool. On the other hand, Hakuryuu wouldn’t probably realize they were laughing about him, because he was so absorbed in his own thoughts and the excitement he felt when thinking about how happy and proud his mother would be.  
As expected Gyokuen was with her daughter. Hakuei was sitting in front of a mirror and her mother behind her. In the moment Hakuryuu entered the room she was about to put the hairbrush back on the table. Both women looked at the newcomer with surprise.  
“Hakuryuu, what are you doing here?”, Hakuei asked.  
Although they were siblings it was seldom for him to come to her room. When he needed something he would go to their mother or, when their brothers were home, he would go to Hakuyuu and Hakuren.  
“I dressed myself today and I wanted to show it to you and mother”, Hakuryuu explained happily.  
Gyokuen couldn’t stop herself from giggling.  
“We can see that”, she said.  
“And? I did great, right? It was really hard, but I made it. Now you do not have to help me anymore. I am a big boy now, like Hakuyuu and Hakuren.”  
“Poor me, now I have three grown up boys and no one to take care of anymore.”  
Every other person would have seen that Gyokuen was just pretending, but Hakuryuu believed her fake sadness and immediately felt bad. He wanted his mother to be proud of him, not be sad because of him.  
“No, don’t be sad mommy. You can still take care of me, if you want”, Hakuryuu run to her and hugged her, “There is no reason to be sad. I still need you to help me with a lot of other things.”  
Hakuryuu was devastated. His intention had been so pure, but now his mother was sad, because of him. He hadn’t thought about her feeling! He was a bad boy!  
“Well, then why don’t you sit down with your mommy and let her do you hair? Mommy loves to comb your hair, you know.”  
Gyokuen’s intention on the other hand was to fix her son. His hair stood in all directions and his clothes, despite being his own, looked as if they were either too big or too small for him.  
As answer Hakuryuu nodded his head and sat down on his mother’s lap, after she had taken a sit on the chair Hakuei had sat before. Without delay Gyokuen grabbed the brush and started to fix Hakuryuu’s hair. He liked it, when someone brushed his hair. Sometimes Hakuei and he would do this to each other, when they were bored. It felt great, when his mother’s warm hands touch his head and softly stroke it.

*

His wife had beautiful long black hair and he loved to strike through it. Also she always smelled wonderful. Since she was too lazy to do anything with her hair, Hakuryuu was the one, who brushed it in the morning or put ornament in it. In exchange sometimes his wife would brush his hair. He still loved that feeling and she was so gentle with him. In case they decided to have children, Hakuryuu hoped one of them was a girl with long hair, who would love to have her hair brushed by her father. For some unknown reason, this thought made him happy and excited as if this was more than just a wish.  
“Is something wrong?”, his wife suddenly asked him.  
She didn’t have put her book away or even looked at him.  
“No, everything’s fine. I was just thinking about a few childhood memories and how great it would be to have such wonderful memories with our future kids.”  
“Children?”  
She sounded not all too happy about his thoughts.  
“Yeah. Do you not want some?”  
“No, children are annoying, loud and cause so much work. I don’t like work or being responsible for others. I can hardly take care of myself and do you even now how painful it is to give birth to one of these… things…?”  
She definitely didn’t want to have children. Not one, not two, she wanted zero!  
“Why do you want children?”, she asked him.  
“Because I think it is great to have big family. I want to give them a happy childhood and watch them grow up, turning into fine adults. You know, everything I wasn’t able to have, because my mother killed by brothers and my father.”  
He wanted children for a very selfish reason, but wasn’t it the same for everyone, who wanted a child? It was definitely a better reason than having children because it was expected of one or because a new hire was needed.  
“You never told me much about your childhood”, she said.  
“Well, you never asked. And by the way, you told me nothing about your childhood. So you are the last, who should complain.”  
“Don’t worry, my childhood was mostly nice. A few bad experiences here and there, but I guess we all have that. How about we discuss this another time. It is already quite late and I am tired.”  
It was indeed quite late. Hakuryuu hadn’t paid attention to his surroundings and therefore hadn’t realized how dark it had become.  
“Alright”, he agreed weakly.  
He had no intention of pushing his wish though. If she didn’t want to have children, then he would accept it, but still dream about it. There was nothing bad about dreaming. For now he would simply enjoy being with her, strike through her hair, hold her tight and draw circles on her beautiful skin.


	23. Contrasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 23\. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Koumei): Koumei takes a stroll and thereby meets Hakuryuu and his son.

It was pretty seldom for him to leave his room. Normally he spent all his day in his room over various documents. He regretted his past and what he had done, so now he wanted atone for his “sins” by dedicating his life to his work. Besides the meetings with Hakuryuu and Kougyoku to discuss the further approach of the development department, he had no other social contacts. Well, sometimes he visited the workers of the development department, but most of the time it was either Hakuryuu or Kougyoku, who gave them their orders and overlooked their work. His job was to think of improvements or complete new deceives, which may be produced and sold under the name of the Kou Company. Yes, he had attended Hakuryuu’s and Kougyoku’s weddings, but those two events where the only one he had attended outside of his work related meetings with them. He knew that both already had children, but he had not interacted with their children yet and he had no intention of doing so. His guilt stopped him. He had no right to be with them and play family. Although he had to admit that he felt a bit lonely sometimes. Whenever this feeling became too strong, he took a stroll outside. During his stroll his mind often was empty and he could appreciate the nature around him without interruption. When his mind wasn’t empty he thought about how things could be, if he had acted differently in the past. But this thinking was endless. There were so many possibilities and so many unknown factors that it was impossible to come to a realistic and satisfying conclusion. Also such thought just made him more depressed, which didn’t stop him to still have them. Maybe he was a masochist?

Today was a wonderful day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, it was warm and the flowers blossomed in all colors. A day out of a book. He walked on a small path, which connected the palace with the nearby forest. It was a mostly unknown path. Only a handful of people knew it existed and even less used it. Therefore it was the best place to be alone and not be found. Hakuren had shown him this side path, so for him it was not just some kind of haven, it also was a place filled with beautiful memories. Despite it being such an important place to him, he barely visit it, because he was too busy with his work and feeling guilty. Did he even have the right to be here after all he had done and not done? Probably not, but there was also no one, who would stop him.  
While walking down the path without paying attention to his surroundings, he was suddenly brought back to reality, when someone bumped into him. Confused he turned around, but saw no one. Had he just imaged it? No, he was sure he had felt someone! Slowly he turned his gaze downwards and actually he saw someone on the ground. It was a small child with black hair, blue eye, a mole on its chin and at the end of the brows were twisted. He had never seen the child before, but it must be one of Hakuryuu’s children. But why was the young boy here and where was Hakuryuu or his wife? Angrily the boy grumbled something and tried to get up on his feet again. Obviously he had not paid attention and run into Koumei. It was a little shock for him, when suddenly another person was there. His father had taken him on a little stroll and it was nice to have one, when no one else was in his way. It made it easier for him to run around freely and his father wouldn’t worry so much about him running into someone else. Who could have known that this still happened? That was unfair! Also it had hurt. Who dared to be in his way anyway?  
When he looked up he saw the face of an unknown man, which scared him. He was not a brave child and was easily scared, especially by unknown people. Who knew what this man wanted to do now? Where was his father? He hadn’t run to far away from him, right? Koumei, on the other, wasn’t scared, but felt a bit helpless. Until now he never had to interact with children, so he was lost regarding what to do next. Should he say something or just leave? This boy definitely was Hakuryuu’s child, thus Hakuryuu must be nearby. Should he search for his younger cousin and tell him where to find the boy or should he take the boy with him? But this would probably cause problems, since the child didn’t know who he was and Hakuryuu had surely taught his kids to not go with strangers. Fortunately before he had do make any decision what to do, a familiar voice was heard. Hakuryuu indeed was near the two and when he saw that his son had run into Koumei, he went over. The boy was pretty delighted to see his father and as soon as he was on his feet again run towards the adult. Koumei was also quite delighted to see Hakuryuu, because now he hadn’t had to do anything. However his delightfulness was gone as fast as it had come, when he looked into Hakuryuu’s face. It was astonishing how much Hakuryuu looked like his older brother Hakuyuu. Not like a copy, like he had looked like for some time, but still way too similar. Well, honestly all his cousins looked very similar. If it wasn’t for the scar, one could really think Hakuyuu had returned from the dead – or never had died in the first place. Oh, how much he wished the latter would be the case. Things would have been so much easier with the former crown prince around. Their family would have never fallen apart like they had, if he were still with them.

“Koumei?”, Hakuryuu asked in disbelieve.  
He barely saw the other man outside of their meetings, so it was surprising to meet his cousin here of all places.  
“Taking a stroll as well? Want to come with us?”  
Hakuryuu approached Koumei with his son on his arm.  
“Yes, a stroll to distract my mind a bit. I am really busy with my work, so I don’t have much time to go outside often”, Koumei lied.  
Yes, lately he had to do more work, because he had to think of new improvements and how to fix some severe problems with their different devices. His lack of sleep, which resulted in him getting dark circles around his eyes, was not only due to his guilt – he had gotten used to that feeling already –, but because of all his worries for the Kou Empire’s company future.  
“Even when you are busy with work, you shouldn’t neglect your health.”  
Hakuryuu was right, but Koumei knew this himself and had never cared much. In the last years he had gotten paler, thinner and his overall health had gotten worse. If he didn’t want to die an early death, he should start taking care of himself. Hakuryuu on the other hand looked fine. Koumei was surprised over and over again, how similar Hakuryuu and Hakuyuu looked. Their personality was also pretty similar. However, since Hakuyuu had died with twenty-two years it was now hard to tell, how much Hakuryuu and Hakuyuu were still alike. What Koumei could compare and did a lot was comparing the present Hakuryuu with his childhood self. Wasn’t it strange that he could remember his younger cousin so well, but could barely remember anything about his own childhood? Well, he could remember a few things, but he couldn’t compare his past self with his present one.  
As child Hakuryuu was always happy, curious, but also very polite and shy around strangers. When he had first met Hakuryuu, the young boy had hid behind his older brother Hakuren and hadn’t even dared to look at Koumei. If Hakuren hadn’t told Hakuryuu to not hid and greet his older cousin, Koumei would have probably overlooked him back then. Even as child Koumei was quite interested in different things, like astrology and Hakuryuu would often asked him about it, whenever Hakuyuu wasn’t around. Once Koumei had asked his younger cousin, why he always came to him instead asking Hakuren, and Hakuryuu told him that he would know more than the second prince about this subject. That day Koumei felt so much pride inside him. Being better than his amazing older cousin was great. Knowing that someone was looking up to and admired him made him feel great. Unfortunately, all of this had gone to nothing, because of the mess after the fire incident. He often wished he could turn back time and fix everything, so they would be all together – he would even stop Hakuyuu and Hakuren from dying. But this was just a childish and stupid wish. Things could be better, if he hadn’t blindly followed his older brother without looking at the rest of the family, if he had tried to be a good older cousin and take care of Hakuryuu. Hakuryuu had been the one, who had suffered the most and the one, who had been neglected the most in times of need. Nowadays Hakuryuu was often quite silent and barely spoke with others. He preferred to be for himself, which didn’t mean he didn’t talk with his family, but he wasn’t as curious as before and therefore kept his distance to everything new and unknown. Koumei had heard that it had took Hakuryuu a long time until he proposed to his wife and get married, because he was so afraid of what might happen afterwards – and because Hakuryuu had been afraid of being rejected again like he had been by his friends and family before. Hakuryuu’s experience with a family or friends wasn’t the best. So it was logical for him to hesitate before making such a big step, although it was obvious how much he loved his wife and wanted to show it everyone through their marriage.  
“I’m sorry to worry you. I will take some rest later.”  
The question only was, when this “later” actually would be. So this was just another lie. Why was Hakuryuu even worrying about him?  
“Why don’t you come with us? We wanted to go to the nearby lake. It is a nice place to take a nap”, Hakuryuu suggested with a smile.  
“Thank you for the offer, but I was already on my way back to get some rest.”  
Another lie. So many lies. He felt bad for all of them, but his mind told him he was not allowed to be with his family – the family he had treated so badly. It was the best for everyone, if he stayed away.  
“Oh … Well, that’s unfortunate”, Hakuryuu said.  
Was this sadness in his eyes? No, Koumei must have imaged it. Maybe it was disappointment? But why should Hakuryuu be disappointed? Shouldn’t he be happy to not have to deal with his older cousin, who had caused him so much pain in the past – although said pain was inflicted indirectly?  
During their conversation Hakuryuu’s son had not even once looked again at his uncle, since he was busy with playing with his father’s hair.  
“Now then, I will take my leave. Rest well, Koumei. No one is helped when he get sick, due to lack of sleep or even worse. You only have one body and one life, don’t waste it.”  
Hakuryuu walked past Koumei, Koumei on the other hand just stood there, looking at the ground and feeling a bit angry. He was the older one, so it should be him, who gave advice! Things could be so much easier, if Hakuryuu would be angrier with him, would yell at him and would blame him. Things could be so much easier, if Hakuryuu wouldn’t act, as if everything was fine. Maybe everything was fine for him, but not for Koumei.

“Tomorrow is the twin’s birthday. You should come and celebrate with all of us. Hakuei and Kougyoku will be there with their children as well. I am sure they would love to see you again.”  
It really have been a long time since Koumei had last spoken to Hakuei. He had heard of her marriage and that she left the Empire to live with her husband, but neither had he attended her wedding nor did he even know who her husband was. He really had isolated himself from his family.  
“Don’t try to make up a lie. We both know you are free tomorrow.”  
Hakuryuu had turned around after he had walked away a few steps. He smiled at Koumei, while all Koumei could do was standing there not knowing what to do. Hakuryuu had really changed a lot ever since they had been children. From the happy little sunshine into a rebellious and strong ruler and last but not least into a kind, caring and seemingly happy father. And he, Koumei, he hadn’t changed at all. He still was lazy and didn’t care about his health and appearance. He hadn’t become stronger or kinder or smarter. Maybe he should try to change as well? It wasn’t too late, right? As long as he was alive he could change and his family would support him.  
“Then … Um, I guess, until tomorrow?”, Koumei said with an insecure undertone.  
Koumei didn’t feel ready to meet his whole family and his guilt didn’t make him feel any better, but when he really wanted to change, he had to make changes now. Facing his family and therewith his past, was a first step. Maybe he couldn’t make a good family with his siblings and cousins, but he could try being a good uncle.  
“Until tomorrow”, Hakuryuu replied and left with his son to take nap at the nearby lake.  
Koumei watched Hakuryuu walking away and after the other one was out of sight he also made his way back to his room.


	24. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 24\. One Shot (Hakuryuu, Hakuren, Hakuyuu): Hakuryuu finds himself in a strange place. While searching for an exit, he meets his dead brothers Hakuren and Hakuyuu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last One Shot for this collection. I have to say I am proud of myself that I was able to write all these One Shots and that I really uploaded them according to my list. It was a bit exhausting and I am happy that my project is over. However I will make smaller project likes this next year for Kougyoku, Hakuren and Hakuyuu - and I will write more Hakuryuu stories!
> 
> I hope you could enjoy this One Shot collection. I had fun writting them, so I hope everyone else had fun reading them.

Insecurely he made one step after the next in this unnatural bright world. Where was he and why was he here? Neither Zagan nor Belial were with him right now, but they had been just a moment ago. Losing Zagan also meant losing his Guandao, which meant that he was completely defenseless. He hated the feeling of being defenseless, of being weak and of being useless. Without his djinns he was so useless. Self-hate rose inside him, but was suppressed by his mind that told him to focus on the fact that he was in an unknown place with unknown threats. All he could hope for, was to find an exit before something bad happened to him and that his fist fighting skill were enough to defend himself. However, he would prefer it to leave this place without a fight. A part of him tried to tell himself that this was just some weird dream and nothing to worry about, but why did it feel so real? In case of a dream, should he not be unaware that it was one? So, was this real? It felt like that, yet it seemed so unreal at the same time. This was probably due to the brightness around him. There was no place in the world, which could be so bright and besides him no one else was here. He could not even see anything like a tree or the sky. A blank world.   
Strange and scary! 

Something small, chirping, white flew past him. At first he was startled by it, but calmed down fast. It seemed like a rukh. Why could he see a rukh? It had been white, so this means that he was in a safe environment, right? Or was this just a trick? As long as things did not go against destiny even hell would be filled with white rukh, right? However, the rukh where heading somewhere. Maybe he should follow? Maybe someone was there – wherever “there” was. Standing in one place would not help him getting out of wherever he was right now. Of course there was no guarantee that he got out by following the rukh, yet it had a better chance of being successful than doing nothing, and even when he couldn’t get out, he may find out what kind of place this “world” was. Or he would wake up, in case this was just an extremely strange dream.  
While he walked forward, in the direction the rukh had flown, he always looked around just to make sure that no one was following or about to attack him. Seemingly he was alone here. He hated being alone. Since the murder of his family he had been alone, he didn’t want to feel lonely anymore, he didn’t want to be alone anymore – and he still wasn’t over the loss of his family. He still had nightmares about the fire and he often dreamed and thought about his brothers, especially their last words. But this was a different matter.   
When thinking about his brothers he felt warm, as if a blanket had been put around him, as if someone had hugged him – despite it being many years since someone gave him a hug, he still could somewhat remember that feeling of it and the comfortable warmth it caused. Well, who had though that he would remember something like this in a place like that? Who had thought that he would ever think about something like hugs again? Despite hoping and wishing for love, he somehow had accepted that something like this was not meant to be for him. His mind had already accepted that thought of never being loved or accepted by others – well, only Judar was on his side and maybe Kougyoku. He and his sister had to do a lot of makeup talks. However, both fell in a different category then the love and acceptance he had once dreamed of, yet he did not want to miss them. Both were important to him and he did not want to lose them! They were all he had! Judar was his only friend and Kougyoku was the only family he still had – Hakuryuu was not sure, how things between him and Hakuei would turn out, when she would wake up, but he hoped for the best.

Hakuryuu shook his head. This was not the time to think about such matters. The past was the past and the present was the present. He should finally stop thinking so much about it. Right now there was a more important issue to handle. The amount of rukh around him increased. Was this good or bad? It could mean that someone else was here. Maybe a Magi? Or a metal vessel user? As long as it was not an enemy, he was fine with anyone. However, anxiety still rose inside of him. What if it was an enemy? And there were still no clue where he was, not to speak of the fact that he did not know how he got here – well, again, wherever that “here” was.   
The chirping got louder and he could hear voices. Two male voices. Hakuryuu could not understand, what was said, but a feeling inside him told him that the owners of the voices were not his foes. They somehow sounded familiar. Maybe one of his comrades were here as well? This would be great! In this case they could search for an exit together and defending each other against enemies was easier. A small shower of relief passed through him. His tense posture unbent. Of course, he still stayed alerted. There was no guarantee that those voices really belonged to his comrades and not a foe. It was better to expect the worst, instead of the best, so nothing could surprise him. Better safe than sorry! With a soft “hello” Hakuryuu tried to call attention to himself, which did not worked out, because his voice was a bit too low. The rukh’s chirping drowned his voice. Another try, this time a little bit louder, but the rukh’s were still louder. How loud did those two still unknown voices speak to each other, if Hakuryuu was able to hear them over the noise made by the rukh? Was he just imagining things?   
More and more rukh filled the surrounding area the closer he got to the voices.   
“Hello?”, Hakuryuu almost screamed, hoping that he now was able to overtone the noise around him.   
The voices went silent and the rukh suddenly flew away, which caused Hakuryuu to shield himself from the light. Getting blind was not a pleasant thought. 

“Hakuryuu?”  
That voice! Hakuryuu knew this voice! Oh, it had been such a long time since he had last heard it. But was this even possible? It was impossible. Never had he thought that he would hear this voice again. He had dreamed about it, but never believed that this dream would came true.   
“Hakuryuu, is that you?”  
Yes, it was him, but was the other one really his big brother Hakuren? Was it really Hakuren or just an illusion? How could this be? A dream! He was dreaming! Yes, this must be the case. Hakuryuu lowered his arms, with which he had shield his face and thereby his eyes from the bright light of the rukh. What he saw made him speechless. His eyes must played tricks on him! There, just a few steps away from him, stood Hakuren and Hakuyuu looking at him, not moving an inch. Both were surrounded by a faint golden glimmer – the glimmer was probably caused by the rukh.  
“Hakuren? Hakuyuu?”, Hakuryuu whispered in disbelieve.   
The person, who looked like Hakuren, approached Hakuryuu with fast steps. The typical smile on his face.   
“It is really you, Hakuryuu! You’ve grown! Hakuyuu look, it is Hakuryuu!”, Hakuren said excited.   
It was hard to keep the tears at bay. And it got even harder, when Hakuren started to pet Hakuryuu’s head, smiled at him and acted as if nothing bad had happened – as if he and Hakuyuu had never died. Hakuyuu slowly approached his two younger brothers.   
“Of course I’ve grown. We haven’t seen each other for fifteen years, brother Hakuren”, Hakuryuu explained, still trying to hold back his tears.   
His mind was fighting: Was this real or just an illusion? What should he believe, feel or do? He wanted to believe that those two in front of him were really his older brothers. There were so many things he wanted to tell them. Until now he also never had the chance to properly say goodbye to them.   
“Uh, really? Fifteen years? Well, that’s quite a long time. How have you been?”   
A stupid question. Hakuren and Hakuyuu both knew what had happened during those years. They were a part of the great flow and as such they also saw the events of the world. However, there was a difference between seeing something and making assumptions and hearing, how someone actually felt and had experienced the events. They had seen how much Hakuryuu had struggled and suffered, while they could not do anything to support or help him. Hakuyuu had reached his brothers by now.   
“I managed it somehow”, Hakuryuu answered with tears streaming down his face.   
He couldn’t hold back anymore. With one hand he hold on to Hakuren’s sleeve, like he had done many times in the past. 

Hakuren was the fun big brother. Always up for a prank or joke. Breaking rules. Running through the hallways, chasing invisible monsters to save the Empire. Hakuyuu was the stern big brother. Always calm and abided by the rules. Giving advice. Watching after his younger siblings, so nothing bad happened to them, lecturing Hakuren, when he was too rough with his games. Hakuryuu’s favorite big brother was Hakuyuu, although he had played with Hakuren most of the time. But just sitting on Hakuyuu’s lap and listening to the advices and stories was fun. Well, he probably like Hakuyuu more, simply because he preferred it more clam and quiet. Hakuei had favored Hakuren.   
“Hakuryuu, it is good to be able to see and speak to you again”, Hakuyuu said with a faint smile, while placing a hand on Hakuryuu’s shoulder.  
Hakuryuu could feel the warmth of his brother’s hand. It all felt so real and it hurt so much. It was hard to stand upright. 

“I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry”, Hakuryuu cried, unsure what he was sorry for.   
There were a lot he was sorry for. For all the things he had done – his brothers must be disappointed with him – and not done. For not fulfilling their goal of uniting the world and changing the empire in such a way. The once military focused empire had now to adhere to the rules of economy. The times of conquering other counties were over. And he had failed as emperor. He was a failure and a disappointment. How could he look his brothers in the eyes? He was not worth their attention, he was not worth their presence.   
Hakuryuu’s words were barely understandable, because they were swallowed by his sobbing.  
Hakuyuu and Hakuren looked at each other, unsure what to say or do. Their little brother always had been an emotional person and easily started to cry, but it also had always been easy to make him smile again, yet they felt so helpless. What was he sorry for? He hadn’t done anything wrong to them.   
“Stop crying, Hakuryuu. You’re such a crybaby”, Hakuren teased his little brother, hoping it would help.   
However, it did not work at all.   
“Hakuren is right, Hakuryuu. There is no reason for you to cry or to apologize to us. Actually, it is me, who should apologize to you”, Hakuyuu agreed with Hakuren.  
“I … I am sorry. I am sorry for disappointing you two. I failed with everything! I’ve … I’ve done so many horrible things! You died protecting me and I failed you two so much! I am so sorry! I … I …”, Hakuryuu cried not able to finish his own sentence. His feet no longer would hold him upright and he got down on his knees. His chest hurt. More and more tears streamed down his face. Memories of the fire incident occupied his mind. All the blood on the ground together with the corpses of his brothers and the smell of burned flesh. Soldiers, who had sworn to protect the royal family and fight for the empire had attacked them and murdered Hakuren. Hakuyuu had used his last bit of power to protect Hakuryuu from the flames with his own blood – Hakuyuu had died because of it. Somehow Hakuryuu had survived. Severely injured, but he had survived. Half of his body had been burned and was now scarred for the rest of eternity, but he was still alive.  
“It’s alright Hakuryuu. You haven’t failed us at all”, Hakuyuu tried to assure his youngest sibling.   
The former crown prince got down on his knees as well and hugged Hakuryuu. Tenderly he stroked over Hakuryuu’s back to calm the latter one down. Hakuryuu, on the other hand, clung to his oldest brother. It felt so real! He could see his dead brother, he could heard them, could feel them, could touch them and he could smell them. It was like back then, when they were still alive, when everything was still alright.   
Hakuren also lowered himself and said with a soft voice: “He is right, Hakuryuu. You did not fail us at all. You did what you thought was best and you did your best to make things right. We saw you struggling and we are proud of you. You’ve changed a lot since we last saw each other.”  
“As I said, there is no reason for you to be sorry. I am the one to apologize. You were just a mere child back then and I burdened you with our revenge and defeating an enemy not even our father could defeat. I’ve asked for the impossible. Never had I expected that you would be alone with those tasks. I’ve thought that our family and supporters would also support you, but instead they opposed you. I am sorry. I was blinded by my rage and caused you so much pain with it. Please forgive me”, Hakuyuu apologized.   
“But I’ve done so many bad things and I’ve fallen into depravity and caused a civil war.”   
This time Hakuryuu’s word were better to understand, however he still didn’t stop crying. He was overwhelmed by his own emotions. Honestly, this was too much for him. There was a lot he wanted to say and do and apologize for and talk about. The pain in his chest grow bigger.   
“You are right, you’ve done bad things, just like Hakuyuu and I did. We may have gone to war, because we wanted to create a peaceful world, but in the end that does not change the fact that we murdered others and caused them to suffer. You did what you did and you realized that you have chosen the wrong way sometimes. It is a good thing to learn from one’s mistakes. You learned your lesson. Things could have been different, if you had chosen to be more open, but it is also understandable that you kept quiet. You were traumatized by the fire incident, by learning that you cannot even trust your own family, so why should you trust anyone anymore? We are not disappointed with you. Actually, we are proud of you. Proud that you never gave up and always tried your best. Proud that you saw your wrong doings and made amends. It is easy to judge and condemn someone else, when oneself is only watching from afar”, Hakuren now tried to assure Hakuryuu.   
Hakuyuu always had blamed himself for all the things his youngest brother had to go through ever since they had died. It had been him, who had told Hakuryuu about their mother. It had been him, who had told Hakuryuu to take back the empire and avenge Hakuren and him. Back then he had thought that their cousins and retainers would support Hakuryuu as future emperor. However, he had been wrong. Instead of support his little brother had been pushed aside and looked down upon. Seeing this had hurt Hakuyuu. Hakuren was the one, who now lectured Hakuyuu for what the latter one had done. On the other hand, what else should he have done? Not telling Hakuryuu anything about the danger? Hakuryuu had loved his mother the most and would have turned into a puppet of hers – he had been one anyway – if he hadn’t known, who she really was. 

None of them could change the past anymore. What had been done, had been done. All they could do now, was to make sure not to repeat the mistakes of the past. Well, this was all Hakuryuu could do.   
That was the reason why Hakuren tried to change the subject of their conversation. Talking about the fire was depressing and Hakuryuu was still crying. He wanted his little brother to smile again and laugh with them. Their time together was limited, hence should not be wasted by negative thoughts and conversations. Hakuren wanted to give a lot of brotherly advices to Hakuryuu. And he wanted Hakuryuu to meet the really Ren Gyokuen and their father Hakutoku. Those two were also here, standing a few meters away, watching their children.   
Gyokuen was afraid of approaching her child. She hasn’t done anything bad, but for Hakuryuu her appearance was linked to her imposter Arba and all the horrible things she had put him through. Hakutoku, on the other hand, was not sure, what he was supposed to do. What was expected of him? He and Hakuryuu had barely any interacting due to Hakutoku spending most of his time with meetings or on the battlefield. Consequently, he barely knew anything about his third son. Should he give him some advice? Was he allowed to do so? Did his youngest child even wanted advice from him?  
Hakuryuu did not pay attention to Gyokuen and Hakutoku, because he was too occupied with his brothers, with talking and listening to them. For so many years he had wished to meet them for one last time, so he could say goodbye and tell them that he had loved them, that he still loved them and was sorry for the things he had done and that he was fine now. He wanted to hear their voice for one last time, laugh with them and hug them. Just one last time, even if it was just for a second. Never had he thought that this wish would be granted!


End file.
